I should be angry that he’s tried to purchase my silence, that he thinks my forgiveness can be bought.
But all I’m thinking about is how my own thudding heart has betrayed me.
Chapter Sixteen
Literature class today is going to be nerve-wracking, I know it. The deadline for our project looms ever closer. Beck and I, partners though we are, haven’t spoken about it since we were paired up, so no work has been done as far as I know. And I need to get this done.
I can’t afford to lose my scholarship, so I need my grades to stay as high as they possibly can. I’ve waited until the last possible second, but now I have to talk to Beck today. There’s no other option. Not, at least, one that I can
foresee.
And if there was another option, believe me, I would take it.
I take a deep breath to steel myself up as I drift into the classroom, hoping I’ll have a few moments to compose myself … but he’s already here.
Even without The Brotherhood, he’s intimidating—his high, sharp cheekbones and pointed chin give the impression of a knife, and his narrow gray eyes make him look cold and calculating. It doesn’t help that’s he’s also wide, broad, and muscular—much too much of each to be a typical high school guy. He’s wearing just a T-shirt today, and his biceps bulge and ripple as he moves.
Just because he isn’t as athletic as Heath doesn’t mean he doesn’t look the part.
“Beck,” I say seriously as I approach, my voice steadier than I expect.
He glances up at me. I can’t stop the little flutter in my heart as he tips his face toward me, but I sure can be pissed off at myself about it. I should hate him and Jasper and Heath for the things they’ve done to me, not least of all for the way they cornered me and Olive in the alley, but I can’t seem to do that.
Not, at least, enough to stop my heart from beating faster each time he—or any of them—glances my way. It’s as if every time he does, I remember the moment he pulled me back out of Jasper’s reach. I remember the moment he told me to run.
And I remember yesterday, when Jasper pulled me aside to tell me we were supposed to be even. We’re not even, of course, but the moment … it left me unsettled. Confused.
Even more confused than usual.
“We need to get working on this project,” I begin. I have a whole speech ready, but the words are slipping out of my mind in the face of his terrifying beauty. Why does he have to look like a weird cross between a statue and an angel?
Thankfully, he doesn’t seem in a mood to argue.
“I agree,” he says shortly.
That shocks me. I blink stupidly at him as he starts getting his papers together into a pile. “What?”
“I’m just busy.”
“We’re all busy, Beck,” I snap. “I want my grade to be good, please and thank you. I can’t just buy a grade like you can.” I grit my teeth and inwardly kick myself. Where did that come from?
And more importantly, where has it been hiding all this time?
His eyes flit up to mine, and a handsome yet manic grin spreads across his face. “Oh?”
I suck in a deep breath. “Can we just get started on this before it’s too late?”
The grin drops as quickly as it came. “Fine.” He yanks out a piece of paper and scribbles down his phone number. “Just text me. We’ll meet at the train station in town.”
“Today,” I say firmly. I know if I let this wait any longer, even a day longer, I might lose my nerve. Or, at the very least, my ability to string together a full cohesive sentence.
He sighs, the back of his pen tapping on the top of his desk. “Fine. Today. After school.” He shoves the paper at me. “Leave me alone now.”
Seems Beck doesn’t know what to do with me if he’s not bullying me … and I suppose I don’t know what to do with him either.
So I do what he asks, for now.
Winter has descended upon us seemingly out of nowhere these last few days.