"That's okay. This is better. I can stretch out more." I yawned dramatically, expecting him to take the hint. Feeling like the world's biggest ass-face, I laid back with my sweater over my face to avoid his eyes that I felt probing me for an answer for my sudden one-hundred-eighty-degree behavior.
"Hey, Greg, eventually you're going to have to actually pull away from the hotel, or are you waiting for the RV to teleport to our next destination?" Tina called out from her recliner. Michelle and Monica snorted with laughter.
"All right. I guess we're all settled then," he responded. I heard the click of his seatbelt before the RV began to move. Thankful to have his attention off me, I opened my eyes and peered out the long set of windows to watch the passing landscape. After a moment the small amount of brunch I had consumed began to churn uncomfortably in my stomach. I closed my eyes again, giving the Dramamine a chance to work before I entered puking death mode.
As I lay on the couc
h trying to relax, I took the opportunity to be productive and plot out the next few chapters of my current manuscript in my head. Usually I preferred to plan out my books while I was alone, but I had nothing else to work on that wouldn't make me nauseous during the drive.
Monica, Tina, and Michelle chattered on about different bits of gossip in the book world. I wanted to sit up and join in the conversation for the first time during the trip. After what transpired during the Gainesville stop, I couldn't help wondering if they had noticed the same thing about Greg that Mom and Olivia had. Maybe the three of them had even talked about it in private, and I had turned into their inside joke without even realizing it. They may have even suspected that Greg and I were having some sort of affair.
I continued lying on the couch, pretending to try to sleep for what felt like hours. The few times I peeked at my phone, I discovered only small increments of time had passed. It felt like beach time. Anyone who regularly visited the beach had probably experienced one of those days when you lie out on the beach, soaking in the sun and listening to the waves. You could lose yourself and feel as though an entire afternoon had passed only to find it had only been a few hours. It's like the beach was some sort of time warp.
If I would have already handled the situation like an adult, I wouldn't be hiding out like some child, hoping to avoid confrontation. Or worse yet, torturing myself by thinking my friends were persecuting me for something I hadn't done. The sad thing was my family and friends only had half the story. They had no idea that my boyfriend was at home having dinner every night with the mother of his child. Would anyone care to know what my feelings were about that?
My insecurities over Alec, combined with dealing with the Greg situation, were driving me to the brink of tears. And that wasn't even taking into consideration the pressure of making sure the publisher was getting its money's worth on the tour.
Thankfully, I felt the RV merge off the highway. We pulled into a gas station, giving me the opportunity to end my sleeping ruse. Greg jumped out to fill the Beast with gas while the rest of us piled out to hit the bathroom and load up with snacks for the next leg of the trip. We had opted out of stopping for lunch, choosing to power forward to our next stop in time for an early dinner.
I followed behind Tina when Greg called out my name. I tried ignoring him, hoping that he would allow me to continue inside the store, but he called my name again, making Tina pause and turn around to see if I'd heard him. Biting back a sigh and a few choice words, I turned around and shuffled back to the RV.
Greg stood on the opposite side of the RV, checking his phone while he waited for the gas tank of the Beast to fill. "Hey," I said, stepping up on the cement platform where the gas pumps sat.
"Hey yourself. What's going on?" he asked bluntly.
I offered up a look of confusion, but I was never the best liar. "With?"
His looked up sarcastically from his phone.
Sighing, I used the toe of my shoe to push a cigarette butt with bright red lip prints off the cement embankment. Silence stretched uncomfortably between us. I knew I was making the situation much worse than it should have been. We were both adults. Confrontations shouldn't have to be this difficult.
I waited to see if he would break it, but he seemed to be waiting for me. "Look. Something was brought to my attention last night, and I've been trying to figure out how to deal with it," I said, looking up to gauge his reaction.
He remained silent, not offering any questions or comments.
Gritting my teeth, I took a deep breath before continuing. The words felt like they were stuck in my throat. "There are some who seem to think that maybe you're harboring certain feelings for me." Oh my god. Considering the amount of confidence I was displaying, I might as well have been back in high school with a mouth full of braces.
"Well, whoever the some are, they're right," he answered.
I shuffled my feet, forgetting I was standing on the narrow edge of the embankment. My arms flared in a windmill motion until Greg's hand reached out and closed around my bicep. He pulled me close to him, causing my breath to hitch. Greg must have taken my reaction as a sign because he leaned in and placed a passionate kiss on my lips.
I stepped back, yanking my arm away. "I'm involved with someone." I used my sleeve to wipe my mouth, which suddenly felt dirty.
"I know. Alec. I met him." The way Alec's name fell off his tongue showed Greg had already dismissed him from the equation.
"Then you should know I love him," I said quietly, not wanting to cause a scene in case the girls were returning to the RV. "This isn't going to happen."
Greg sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "I know that—maybe. I mean, are you going to deny that there's something between us? " He sounded frighteningly resigned, like he already thought we were a couple.
"Yes, Greg. I am. If I misled you in some way, I apologize, but it was never my intention to be more than friends." I could no longer deny that Mom and Olivia had been right. I felt like such an idiot for not seeing it for myself.
He laughed harshly, sounding different from his normal jovial tone. "Friends? You don't think I've already considered that? That I've tried to focus on your flaws to see past the part of you that keeps dragging me in?"
"Flaws? What is that supposed to mean?"
"You have a shitload of flaws," he said, stepping close to me again. Instinctively, I raised my hands to stop him and stepped back, encountering the cement curb with the heel of my shoe. "The bitch of it is I like every single one of those flaws. They make you the person you are." He reached up to brush the hair away from my face, but I batted him away.
"Stop. I love Alec," I said forcefully.