"He sounds like it, and his mom doesn't sound like much of a winner either. I'm not sure what I would have done at his age if my mom tried to cockblock me," he said just as I was taking a sip of wine. His words made the wine go down the wrong tube and I choked, nearly covering him in a combination of wine and spit.
Nathan pounded me on the back as I coughed like an eighty-year-old smoker. "Not cool to say something like that when I'm trying to drink," I chastised in between coughs. "You gotta give a person warning."
"Sorry," he said, laughing again. "Anyway, your friend is better off now. At least I think so."
"That's what I told her. We've all gone out together a couple of times and he was always very overbearing where she was concerned. It irked me that he kept such a tight rein on her. No girl deserves to be treated that way."
"You sound like you have personal experience in that area?" he asked casually, though I sensed something more in his tone.
"Me? Hell no," I said, reaching for a chocolate strawberry. "I may have not dated much, but I'd never let a guy treat me like that. If anyone tried to control me like Jackson did with Tressa, I would have sent him packing instantly," I added, looking up at him. I was surprised to see his eyes had narrowed and he was studying me critically. I instantly regretted my openness. He didn't need to hear about my love life or lack thereof. It was as if I had erected a flashing sign above my head with the word "inexperienced" in big red letters for the world to see.
The silence between us stretched on as he moved his eyes from mine and studied the water behind me. I had the uncomfortable feeling he was contemplating what he was doing with someone with my adolescent experience. Maybe we had reached the point where he was missing the sophisticated and experienced ladies he was used to dating. I felt I should say something. Offer up some kind of reassurance that I wasn't a complete prude or anything, but I kept my lips sealed, waiting for him to break the silence.
After what seemed like an eternity, he finally shifted his eyes back to me. "So, you've never been in a relationship you couldn't wait to get out of?" he asked with intensity.
"No," I answered, puzzled. I knew the fact that I was twenty-two and had no prior experience to brag about could be construed as unusual, but it shouldn't put me on trial. "It's not like I'm a leper or something," I finally said sarcastically, done with the way he was looking at me.
"Of course not," he answered. "It's just unusual that you don't have one crummy relationship to complain about."
"What the hell does that mean? Maybe I was too busy to have a real relationship. Maybe my sights were focused on finishing college early so I didn't invest much time in dating," I answered truthfully. Not to mention that for the longest time my only goal was to make up for the year I was forced to repeat in high school. Watching my fellow classmates graduate without me had been a tough pill to swallow, so I made it my goal to get my college degree as fast as I could. Free time became a novelty once I entered college and submersed myself in as many classes as my counselor was willing to allow me to take. Even summers merged together with the rest of the school year as I pushed on without taking any breaks. I went year-round with the goal of graduating a year early. My hard work paid off too. Three years after graduating from high school I had my bachelor's degree in hand, but by then it didn't matter.
"I see," Nathan said, interrupting my thoughts.
"Why is it such a bad thing that I've never had my heart broken?" I asked, sick of the way he was acting.
"It's not," he answered, reaching for my hand. "It just surprised me," he added, smiling at me.
"What about you? Who broke your heart?" I probed.
"What makes you think my heart's been broken?"
"Well, the way you're acting for one. Besides that, you've mentioned going down the heartbreak route a couple times," I said, studying his features that had gone hard in the flickering candlelight. "If it makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to talk about it," I said quietly.
"Her name was Jessica Swanson, and she came into my life like a freaking hurricane. She was no-nonsense and bossy as hell. In the beginning, I was flattered that she picked me the night I met her at a school play. She put me together, you know? Made me grow up and taught me to take my future seriously. I guess you could say she groomed me. After we'd been dating for several months, I found out her family was swimming in the bucks. It was a world I didn't belong in, but I didn't care. I fooled myself into thinking I loved her. The first time I met her family was hell. Her father drilled me for hours about my future plans. That's when I realized why Jessica had been pushing me so hard. In her family, it was all about who you knew, how to make it to the top and who you were willing to step on to get there," he said in a pained voice. He remained silent for a moment, and I was beginning to think he was done when he started talking again. "It took me almost a year to realize just how far Jessica was willing to go to insure my future. I mean crazy shit you couldn't even imagine. I caught her in bed with a congressman twice her age. A fucking congressman. Can you imagine that shit? She had some crazy-ass high hopes that I would have a career in politics or something, and this is how she would help get me there. That's how she justified it as fucked up as that sounds."
"That is seriously fucked up," I said, understanding his hang-ups on love.
His eyes were expressionless in the flickering light of the candles, making it hard for me to tell what he was thinking. After a few long silence-filled minutes, he surprised me by changing the subject completely.
"What college did you go to?" he asked, sounding normal again.
"The University of Central Florida. What about you?" I asked, glad the weirdness between us was dissipating.
"FSU," he answered. "Of course, several years before you were in college," he added.
"Right. I was like in middle school when you were in college," I said, laughing as he grimaced.
"That just sounds wrong. Maybe we'll leave that fact out from now on," he said as the rest of the tension evaporated.
"I thought all guys wanted to hook up with a younger girl," I quipped, nibbling on another chocolate strawberry.
"True. We just don't like to talk about the ages, at least our ages. As for the girl, we'd put it on a billboard if it made us look better," he said, looking at me appraisingly. "Are you trying to drive me mad?" he added, watching me lick the corner of my mouth where a small piece of chocolate threatened to escape.
"By eating a strawberry?" I inquired as a thrill of excitement raced through me at the way he was eyeing me.
"Eating is one thing. I mean the way your mouth seems to cherish every bite. That's driving me insane. I've never been jealous of a fruit before."
"I can't help it. They're so good, mmm," I moaned, opening my mouth wide to take in the entire piece of fruit. He sat watching me for a moment as I laughed. Finally, he leaned over and pulled me against him, capturing my lips with his. I gasped with approval when his tongue swept into my mouth. My desire flared up instantly, making me grasp at his shirt like a drowning victim. I submersed myself in the kiss as if it was my only source for life. His passion seemed to match mine as he tangled his hands in my hair, pulling me as close as we could get. The remnants of our dinner were forgotten as he lowered himself on the quilt with me sprawled on top of him without breaking the kiss. Every inch of me wanted him now. I strained against him, unsure how to tell him what I wanted as my need for something more became unbearable.