Trent continued to drive, unaware of my observations. We both remained relatively silent most of the way, except for some occasional small talk about the weather. Even after what we had shared last night, I was afraid to talk about us, as in us, the couple. He had admitted having fantasies about me, but what if that was all they were? Maybe all he wanted was a friend-with-benefits kind of relationship. I hated myself for feeling this way, but it was my own fault for falling for him. I couldn’t help thinking that if I brought it up, I would somehow jinx us when I was the one who now wanted more.
With each mile that passed, I became more worried and apprehensive. My month of mandatory tutoring ended on Wednesday, and that would be it for us. For the first time since our sessions started, I wasn’t ready for them to come to an end.
As Trent pulled down the street leading to my apartment, I reminded him about my tutoring sessions ending soon. I tried to sound conversational and like I wasn’t probing for an indication that we were now more than just an obligation. That was me, after all. Never show any weakness. That was my mantra.
“It’s not like we won’t see each other every day,” Trent said as we pulled into my apartment complex.
“Does that mean you plan on stalking me?” I joked, trying to make light of how I was feeling, which was pretty damn confused at the moment.
“You better believe it,” he said, turning off the car. Neither of us made a move to get out, even though the atmosphere in the vehicle had taken a sharp turn into Awkward-as-hell-ville. “Looks like snow,” he commented, breaking the silence. He peered out the windshield, looking up at the sky.
“Probably. I’m surprised we haven’t gotten a heavy snow yet,” I said, not quite believing we were talking about the weather again.
“So, do you want to stay the night at my apartment?” His voice shook a little. Damn, he was so freaking cute. I could eat him up.
“Hell yes,” I answered.
He didn’t miss a beat. He threw the car in reverse and pulled out of my parking lot before I had a chance to change my mind. Little did he know there was no chance of that.
I laughed at the melodrama that had gone on in my head earlier. Thankfully, I wasn’t the only one obsessing about our new relationship. Well, not thankfully, but I was glad he was stressing also. Let’s just say I was relieved that I hadn’t put myself out there for nothing. Within minutes, Trent was pulling into a parking spot behind his building. “You sure?” he asked. “Maybe it’s too soon for this. It’s probably too soon for this, right?”
His nervous energy was sexy, and I wanted him to see just how badly I wanted him. I snagged his hand, bringing it up to my lips. “It’s not too soon, and believe me when I say I couldn’t be more sure if I tried,” I reassured him.
My words were all the prompting he needed. We got out of his car and carried our bags into his apartment.
“So, are you hungry?”
“Uh, sure,” I answered. He was clearly nervous.
“Oh, okay. We can order a pizza or something,” he said, taking a step back.
I snatched his hand before he could walk away and tugged him toward the bedroom.“How about if we work up more of an appetite first?” I’d never really taken the dominant role in an intimate situation, but I sensed he needed a little coaxing. I found the role reversal to be a pretty heady experience.
The late-afternoon sunlight streamed through the curtains as I stepped into his bedroom for the first time. I took a moment to take in the furnishings that matched, just like the rest of his apartment. His OCD was something I’d come to appreciate. The fascinating part was the king-sized bed in the middle of the room.
“King-sized?”
“I like to spread out,” he said, placing his hands on my waist. “That’s why I have my own apartment. I realized freshman year I wasn’t suited for roommates. By midyear, my roommate was ready to kill me . . .” His voice trailed off as I began to unbutton his shirt.
“Are we going to talk about furniture, or are we going to use it?” I asked, helping him slide out of his shirt.
He answered by pulling me into his arms. My hands splayed across his back as his lips found mine. We stood in the middle of his room discovering each other. I can’t even say for sure how it happened, but somehow our clothes managed to end up in a pile on the floor.
I usually preferred the lights off and the room to be pitch-black to hide my flaws. I tried to edge us toward the bed so I could at least hide beneath a blanket, but Trent held me in place as his lips trailed down my neck and over my shoulder.
“Where are you going?”
“I thought we’d be more comfortable on the bed,” I said, inching us closer. “Under the covers,” I added.
“Are you cold?” He looked concerned but went with the flow, allowing me to lead us to his large bed.
I could have lied. I almost did, but the truth leaked out before I could tamp it back. “I’m not cold. I just prefer to do this part in the dark or under the covers.”
He looked confused. “Why?”
“Because, I don’t like people to see my flaws,” I admitted, exasperated.
“Flaws? You’re kidding, right?” He took a step back to admire my body.