Don’t get me wrong, she wasn’t suicidal. No, she was too afraid to ever commit such a heinous sin and had too much pride to bother. She just wanted to die. She wanted to be struck by lightening or hit by a car. She wanted death to claim her so much that she hooked up with drug dealers and coke-heads, just to wind up in trouble with them, probably praying she’d get shot at or murdered by some lunatic by chance.
All it’d ever gotten her was a warning from a cop or a simple slap on the wrist because my mother was the type of woman to do anything to get out of a sticky situation. Yeah, the whole town knew who Nyla Cane was. They knew all about the seductive, beautiful woman with the brown hair and pretty face, with two kids and a shitty husband, so we never really got in trouble.
Lora would relax for a while, whenever the slap on the wrist happened, but then she’d find her next fucked-up drug dealer. While Lora wanted to ruin her life because of the shit she was going through, I sought to better mine. I wanted to do great things. I wanted to get my family away from the bad side of town and especially away from my abusive father…but I knew I couldn’t do it clean. I couldn’t get out unless I committed crimes too…
I did what I had to do, and Kelly knew all about it. She preyed on me from the very beginning and I was too dumb to see it.
If I’d known any better, I would have shoved my middle finger in her face the moment I saw her at Polly Heights.
I was an idiot who trusted a manipulative, psychotic bitch and now I had to figure out how to dig myself out of this deep, unforgiving hole with only my bare hands.
I hoped Lora would call. I would have called her, but she’d changed her number. After what we last went through, she swore she never wanted to speak to me again, but I kept my number the same, just in case.
I’d hoped she’d let me hear her voice again. I hadn’t heard it in two years. I missed my sister to death and hoped that, despite her stubbornness, she’d feel our spiritual connection and know that I needed her.
Chapter Nine
KANDY
I had the last drive on the way to Indiana while Mom napped. Ten and a half hours didn’t seem so bad until we were actually on the road. We had only made four stops, and made sure to keep our drinking and eating to a minimum.
The closer we got to the school, the more on edge I became. I tried to see this as a new chapter—a chance for me to start over and make new friends and try new things, but it was kind of hard to see it that way with Cane constantly running through my mind.
When we were finally there, I parked and let out a lengthy breath, staring ahead at the building. I’d seen it once before.
All of the buildings looked the same to be honest. Gothic architecture that seemed a bit daunting at first, but after staring at it for a while, the look grew on me. It was unique. I loved them—the vintage bricks and intricate structure.
Not only that, but compared to Georgia, Indiana was different. For one, it was much livelier here. It could have been the trees, and how the tips of them were splashed with color, proving fall was well on it’s way, or maybe it was the freshly cut grass that I could smell through the open sunroof. Everything here was earthy and real, unlike where our suburban home was located.
I spotted several students, all female, walking to the building I would be residing in with their parent or parents. They all carried luggage or big items like comforters and sheets and some even had softball gear. Most of them had smiles on their faces, and I instantly envied their joy. I wanted to walk into this building happy too. Instead, I longed to go back home and make things right again.
“Well,” Mom sighed, unclipping her seatbelt. “You ready, sweetie?”
“Yeah.” I let out a breath, unclipping mine too. “Better now than never.” We both pushed out of the car and before we grabbed my things, we checked in with a redheaded girl with a clipboard standing in the lobby. Her name was Henley and she was one of the resident assistant’s for our building. She had frizzy hair and freckles, but was super petite and adorable.
“We’re so happy to have you here, Kandy!” Henley chimed. “Believe it or not, I’ve heard so many great things about from the other softball players!” Henley followed Mom and me back to the car to help us unpack. One thing I learned during the first two minutes of meeting Henley: she loved to give compliments and loved to talk even more.