Any signs that they are slowing...'
'He's gone off his rocker!' shouted one of the fathers, aghast, and the other parents joined in the chorus of frightened shouting. 'He's crazy!' they shouted.
'He's balmy!'
'He's nutty!'
'He's screwy!'
'He's batty!'
'He's dippy!'
'He's dotty!'
'He's daffy!'
'He's goofy!'
'He's beany!'
'He's buggy!'
'He's wacky!'
'He's loony!'
'No, he is not!' said Grandpa Joe.
'Switch on the lights!' shouted Mr Wonka. And suddenly, on came the lights and the whole tunnel was brilliantly lit up, and Charlie could see that they were indeed inside a gigantic pipe, and the great upward-curving walls of the pipe were pure white and spotlessly clean. The river of chocolate was flowing very fast inside the pipe, and the Oompa-Loompas were all rowing like mad, and the boat was rocketing along at a furious pace. Mr Wonka was jumping up and down in the back of the boat and calling to the rowers to row faster and faster still. He seemed to love the sensation of whizzing through a white tunnel in a pink boat on a chocolate river, and he clapped his hands and laughed and kept glancing at his passengers to see if they were enjoying it as much as he.
'Look, Grandpa!' cried Charlie. 'There's a door in the wall!' It was a green door and it was set into the wall of the tunnel just above the level of the river. As they flashed past it there was just enough time to read the writing on the door: STOREROOM NUMBER 54, it said. ALL THE CREAMS - DAIRY CREAM, WHIPPED CREAM, VIOLET CREAM, COFFEE CREAM, PINEAPPLE CREAM, VANILLA CREAM, AND HAIR CREAM.
'Hair cream?' cried Mike Teavee. 'You don't use hair cream?'
'Row on!' shouted Mr Wonka. 'There's no time to answer silly questions!'
They streaked past a black door. STOREROOM NUMBER 71, it said on it. WHIPS - ALL SHAPES AND SIZES.
'Whips!' cried Veruca Salt. 'What on earth do you use whips for?'
'For whipping cream, of course,' said Mr Wonka. 'How can you whip cream without whips? Whipped cream isn't whipped cream at all unless it's been whipped with whips. Just as a poached egg isn't a poached egg unless it's been stolen from the woods in the dead of night! Row on, please!'
They passed a yellow door on which it said: STOREROOM NUMBER 77 - ALL THE BEANS, CACAO BEANS, COFFEE BEANS, JELLY BEANS, AND HAS BEANS.
'Has beans?' cried Violet Beauregarde.
'You're one yourself!' said Mr Wonka. 'There's no time for arguing! Press on, press on!' But five seconds later, when a bright red door came into sight ahead, he suddenly waved his gold-topped cane in the air and shouted, 'Stop the boat!'
19
The Inventing Room - Everlasting Gobstoppers and Hair Toffee
When Mr Wonka shouted 'Stop the boat!' the Oompa-Loompas jammed their oars into the river and backed water furiously. The boat stopped.
The Oompa-Loompas guided the boat alongside the red door. On the door it said, INVENTING ROOM - PRIVATE - KEEP OUT. Mr Wonka took a key from his pocket, leaned over the side of the boat, and put the key in the keyhole.
'This is the most important room in the entire factory!' he said. 'All my most secret new inventions are cooking and simmering in here! Old Fickel-gruber would give his front teeth to be allowed inside just for three minutes! So would Prodnose and Slugworth and all the other rotten chocolate makers! But now, listen to me! I want no messing about when you go in! No touching, no meddling, and no tasting! Is that agreed?'