I’m the only one.
Like always.
“You’ve got to start eating better,” I tell him.
“I know.”
“Let’s take a nap, Finn,” I suggest. He nods and climbs into my bed. I cover him up with a quilt before I curl up beside him. He falls asleep quickly, and he doesn’t stir.
Beneath him, between my mattresses, his journal rests. I know I have to force myself to read more of it, no matter how much it scares me, because I have to uncover the truth.
Something is bothering him, something is eating at him, and little by little, it will drive him completely mad… if I don’t stop it first.
24
VIGINTI QUATUOR
Finn
I can’t sleep. That’s the problem. I seldom sleep now and the redness of my eyes is driving me to the brink. They burn and burn, and still sleep won’t come.
Even now, I feel Calla watching me, waiting for me to be normal, waiting for me to sleep, so I feign it. I pretend to dream.
But I’m a faker.
Instead of dreaming, I lie here listening to the fucking voices.
SheDoesn’tDeserveYouSheDoesn’tDoesn’tDoesn’t. Don’tYouSee? Can’tYOU? Can’tYOU? SheDoesn’tKnow Shedoesn’tknow. She doesn’t.
They hiss and whisper and yell and scream and I fight the urge to flinch, to scratch, to shriek. But through it all, I lie as still as a corpse, as quiet as a ghost.
Serva me, serva bo te. Serva me. Serva me. Serva me.
Save me and I will save you.
I will save her. I will I will I will.
It’s my voice now, rising above the others, ringing out loud and clear and most important. I can fend them off for a while, for long enough to do this. For long enough to save her.
My secret will come out. But before that, I will save her.
I will.
25
VIGINTI QUINQUE
Calla
I don’t wake until morning, and when I do, Finn is gone. That’s the first thing I notice.
I open my eyes and my hand runs along the cool smooth sheets of the empty side of my bed.
The second thing I notice is the piano music.
Since I know there isn’t a funeral today, this is very odd. My mother was the only one who knew how to play in our family.
I crawl out of bed and pad down the stairs, inching into the Chapel, not sure what I expect to see. But nothing I expect prepares me for what it is.