“You’ve suffered a loss, but life goes on. You will learn to go on, as well.”
She looks away from us, directing her attention to a paper on her desk. “Sabine!” she calls, without looking up.
Apparently, we’ve been dismissed.
Sabine re-enters and Dare and I quickly follow her, jumping at the chance to leave this distasteful woman.
“Well, she’s pleasant,” I mutter.
Dare’s lip tilts.
“She’s not my favorite.”
Understatement.
We share a moment, a warm moment, but I shove it away.
I can’t.
I can’t.
Sabine stops in front of double wooden doors.
“This was your mother’s suite,” Sabine tells me. “It’s yours now. Dare’s room is across the house.” After she says that, she waits, as if she’s expecting a reaction from me. When she doesn’t get one, she continues. “Dinner will be at seven in the dining room. Be prompt. You should rest now.”
She turns and walks away, shuffling down the hall on tiny feet.
Dare stares at me, tall and slender. “Do you want me to stay with you?”
“No.” My answer is immediate and harsh.
He’s startled and he pulls away a bit, staring down at me.
“I just… I need to be alone,” I add.
I’m not strong enough to resist you yet.
Disappointment gleams in his eyes, but to his credit, he doesn’t press me. He swallows his hurt and nods.
“Ok. I’m wiped out, so I’m going to take a nap before dinner. I suggest you do the same. You must be tired.”
I nod because he’s right, I’m utterly exhausted. He’s gone, and I’m left alone in the long quiet hallway.
I take a step toward my bedroom, then another, but for the life of me, I can’t seem to turn the doorknob. Something settles around me, dread, I think, and I just can’t do it.
The look on Eleanor’s face emerges in my head, the way she was examining me, and I can’t breathe. Something crushes me, that dark thing that I felt in the driveway. It feels like it’s here, pushing on me, lapping at me.
I know it doesn’t make any sense.
Something pulls me.
It pulls me right into my mother’s old rooms.
And there, I sit, surrounded by her memories.
Chapter 4
My mother’s rooms are as lavish as the rest of the house. There are no childhood posters taped to the walls here, no teenage heart-throbs, no pink phones or plush pillows.