My hand is anchored by Dare’s.
His fingers shake, and I suddenly know what I have to do.
I have to step away from the man I love.
I have to
I have to
I have to.
Because I can’t take it otherwise.
My mind is elastic, and it’s going to snap.
“I’ve done a terrible thing,” he confesses, and each word is staccato. “I don’t expect your forgiveness. But I have to fix it. And to do that, I need your help. You have to help me, Calla. Help me save you.”
Save me, and I’ll save you.
Right?
I feel… I feel… I feel.
I feel a wave of déjà vu. I feel a wave of emotion, of sensation, of things I should know but don’t.
“What have you done?” I ask him through fractured thoughts. “What do I need saving from? From you? Because I don’t think I can be saved.”
“You’re wrong,” he insists, and his eyes beg me. “I can save you.”
I shake my head and the movement is painful. “There’s only one way,” I whisper and the words hurt my soul. “You have to leave me alone, Dare. You have to let me go. I can’t take anymore. I can’t take the secrets.”
“You love me,” he reminds me, his stare cutting me into pieces.
“I know,” I whisper, throwing those pieces away. “But I don’t think that’s enough right now. I’m going to break, Dare. I’m going to break.”
I draw my knees to my chest and look away, taking a deep shaky breath.
“I know I sound crazy,” I admit. “I know it. But I can’t help what I feel. I have to protect myself from you. I know that much is true. My heart is telling me to be afraid of you.”
And it is. It’s telling me there’s a reason.
I feel it in my bones, in my hollow reed bones.
Dare closes his eyes, and it is minutes before he opens them, and when he does, they’re so empty, so lost.
“Fine,” he says simply. “Protect yourself from me. Hell, I’ll protect you from me. But come with me to Whitley. That’s where you’ll find the answers. You can have your space, you’ll have peace and quiet, and you’ll recover, Cal.”
“The answers are at Whitley?”
I stare at Dare, at the body I love, the eyes that I can fall into, the heart that has held me up… and hidden so many secrets.
He nods, and it’s like the movement is painful for him. He doesn’t want to go to Whitley, but he’s willing to go for me.
“Your dad wants you to go,” he adds. “Can you do it for him?”
Can I?
An overpowering sense of foreboding cripples me, almost sending me to my knees. I don’t know. I only know… if I don’t f