Biker's Virgin

“A town like this would be nice,” I said.

Devon gave me a wink and left. I put together a small plate of food and headed upstairs to my room. About an hour later, Devon appeared at my door with some information for me.

“Here you go,” he said, handing me the paper. “This might help you make your decision.”

I smiled and took the paper from him. “Thanks, Devon,” I said. “You know… I wish we had grown up together.”

He seemed unexpectedly touched by my words, and he lowered his eyes for a moment. “Me too,” he said quietly, before turning and walking down the stairs.

I turned on some music, settled on the bed, and started reading through the information that Devon had put together for me. Seeing my options there on paper made it all the more real, and I felt nervous and scared. But that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes the best things could come out of fear. I had never expected to be able to defend myself, but now I had confidence and strength. And those skills had helped save my life.

I was still trying to make a decision when I heard a knock on my door. I went to answer it and found Zack standing there with an unreadable expression on his face. His hazel eyes were obviously hooded, and his body language was slightly tense.

“Can we talk for a second?” he asked.

“Of course,” I nodded.

He walked into the room, and we sat down together on the edge of my bed. His eyes fell to the papers that Devon had given me only an hour ago, but I saw no emotion on his face.

“Going somewhere?” he as

ked.

“Well… yes,” I replied. “I suppose I am soon. I can’t stay here forever.”

One corner of his mouth went up in a tiny smile that might have been interpreted as sad. “No, I suppose not. That was never the plan anyway.”

“Exactly.”

“Any place in mind?” Zack asked.

“There are two places in Devon’s list that seem like they’ll be a good fit for me,” I said. “I haven’t decided yet.”

“You know there’s no real threat to you anymore,” Zack said, almost as an afterthought. “You don’t have to leave.”

“It would be hard for me to stay,” I admitted. “After…all this.”

I was being intentionally evasive, but Zack didn’t press me further. He nodded and got to his feet. I don’t know why, but I felt my throat constrict with panic, and I reached out and grabbed his hand. He turned and looked at me with raised eyebrows.

“Did I thank you?” I asked, trying to buy more time with him.

I was keenly aware that these were our last few days together, and suddenly I was selfish and greedy for his time.

“You did,” Zack nodded. “Even though it was unnecessary.”

“No, it wasn’t,” I said. “You’re the reason I won’t be looking over my shoulder anymore… you’ve given me peace of mind. That’s a pretty big gift, and you were a great teacher.”

“Was I?” Zack asked. “I thought you felt like I was too tough on you.”

“I did,” I admitted. “At first… but if you hadn’t been that tough on me, I wouldn’t have learned as fast as I did, and I would never have been able to get away from Walter.”

“You would have found a way,” Zack said.

I stood up and took a step towards him so that we were only inches apart. I wanted to tell him so much at that moment. I wanted to tell him that I loved him. I wanted to tell him that I would miss him more than words could express. I wanted to tell him that the thought of leaving him was more painful than anything Walter Black had done to me that day in Gordon’s Run.

But I knew that kind of sentiment would just make him awkward and uncomfortable. Just because I loved him didn’t mean he returned the feeling, and expressing how I felt would just create tension between us, and I didn’t want my last few days with him to be ruined that way.

So instead of telling him what I was really feeling, I swallowed the words and put my hand on his chest. I could feel the thud of his heart against his ribcage, and that told me that, at least for now, he was affected by my presence.