“What do you mean?”
“I don't even know. Luke and I are hot and cold. At the moment, he thinks I like Chris.”
“Do you?” She walked over and sat down.
“I don't know. I mean I have known Chris forever. Maybe there could be something there.” I rolled my eyes at the thought.
“What?”
“He doesn't give me butterflies.”
“And the lumberjack does?”
“Luke.”
“Right, Luke.”
“When he is near me, it's the best and weirdest thing I have ever felt.”
“You get all fluttery inside?”
“Yeah. I guess that’s what you’d call it.” I shrugged.
“But not with Chris?”
“No, but it doesn't mean that I couldn't feel like that about him eventually.”
“So you would give up what you feel when you are around Luke to maybe find it eventually with Chris?”
“It’s not that, it’s that Luke is making me question everything. Why does he keep questioning it? I mean, if he’s going to question us... question me... what does that say? And eventually, I’m going to move to Portland, and Luke isn't.”
“So, you want to take the easy road. That doesn't sound like the Emmy I know and love.”
“I don't know what I want. I thought I did, until Luke started acting all whatever. Sometimes, I want to just blow everything off and just be with Luke, and other times I get mad because I want to do that. Wanting Luke doesn’t make sense. But Chris, Chris would be a logical, safe bet. Right?”
She shook her head. “I think you need to really consider what you’re giving up. I'm not saying that you couldn't have the butterflies and fireworks with Chris or maybe someone else down the road, but you do have it with Luke now.”
“I know, and it's overwhelming most of the time.”
“How so?”
“Like I said before, my body knows when he is around. A flush roars through me when he’s near, and when he touches me, even a simple tap on the skin sets my body on fire. It is very hard to concentrate when he is around. With Chris, it's different. More of a friend thing. I don't know. I do know that I can't fall in love with a man who lives somewhere that I can't.”
“You don't like long drives in the rain?” She stood and knocked my shoulder as she walked to the coffee pot, bringing it toward me and refilling my cup.
“No, I don't,” I deadpanned, and she laughed, turning to put the carafe back.
“Maybe you should just sleep with him and then sleep with Chris and then date whoever is better in bed.” She said flippantly.
I almost spit coffee out of my mouth and then choked. I felt her tapping my back as I tried to wipe my face and catch my breath at the same time.
“I was just saying. Don’t go dying on me.”
“I can't sleep with both of them.”
“Why not?
I tilted my head at her. “Wait? You were serious?”