She stood there looking at me with disbelief, tears welling up in her eyes.
“It's not fun being found out, huh?” I poured more amber liquid into the glass and lifted it to my mouth needing the burn to focus me.
She shook her head softly and her voice quietened. “If you honestly believe that's what you saw, then it doesn't matter what I say to you at this point. You’re not going to believe me anyway.” Tears streamed down her cheeks as she turned away from me.
I swiveled around to face the kitchen. Her footsteps echoed down the hall, and then my door slammed. When I heard her screen door slam, I turned and walked out into the yard. Heat began rising up my throat and I knew for the first time in years, I might cry.
I’d thought she was different, but she was exactly like my ex. I still couldn't even say her name after all of the years. And there I was, history repeating itself, except this time I was in love with her.
I stood in the yard and looked skyward, searching for signs I might have missed. Other than the distance that had come between us, most of them had been from Chris. Her door opened, and she stomped out into the yard stopping directly in front of me.
“I walked under an umbrella to a restaurant where three other co-workers were waiting. Something I have done a hundred times with Chris, John, and Robbie, and probably other guys over the years I haven’t thought twice about. Every time, I try to stay close to the person so we can both stay under the fucking umbrella, and I would do the same with Ryan or you.” She poked me in the chest as she spoke. “I can't make this jealousy issue you have, or whatever it is, go away, and apparently being honest with you doesn't work either. I have never been with Chris and have never wanted to be. Since I got here, there has only been you. I don't know what else you want me to say. You told me that we were wiping the slate clean, and here you are with your insecurities hanging out all over the place, and instead of talking to me you made assumptions that were very wrong. Is that why you fucked me the way you did when you got home Sunday? Because of your insecurities? Did Chris tell you something else that you halfway believed? That’s a dick move, Luke!” She shoved my chest and turned to walk away.
I grabbed her arm and jerked her back to face me. I lowered my face and looked her in the eyes. “Then how does he know about your scar?” I said between gritted teeth.
Her eyes widened, and then a look I didn’t recognize crossed her features.
“Chris told you I have a scar?”
“He’s told me a lot of things.” I raised an eyebrow, cocking my head to the side. “He's told me about you warming his bed when you are in Portland. He told me exactly where the scar is and what it’s shaped like.”
She took a step back from me and shook her head.
“What? Can't handle the truth?”
“No, I'm trying to figure out how you could even believe that I would do that to you.” Her hands went to her jeans, she undid them and shimmied them over her hips, leaving her panties on, and pointed at the scar.
“You can see it when I have a bathing suit on,” she said with a tone that all but told me I’m an idiot. “Chris has been to my grandparents’ house dozens of times over the years, and this scar has been here since I was eight.”
I wanted to believe her, but my mind was running wild.
“And I don’t even know what the inside of Chris’ house looks like. I stay with Granddad and Mimi when I am in Portland. Here, call them, ask them.” She reached into her back pocket, pulled her phone out, and shoved it into my chest.
My heart was hammering as I started to realize that maybe I had overreacted to a bunch of bullshit Chris had planted in my head.
“Chris has been hitting on me since middle school, and I have never gone there. Even with my mother pushing me, I wouldn't. And I sure as hell wouldn't have started this with you and then turned to him. I am not that person.” Tears were flowing down her face. “This is the closest to love I have ever felt, and I wouldn't do anything to mess that up. I am terrified that my life is going to move and yours is here, and I'm going to end up devastated.” She stepped closer to me. “But you were worth the risk. I wanted you for as long as I could have you.”
She looked into my eyes, and I knew then that I was, in fact, and idiot. Everything I thought I knew was wrong. She was telling me the truth and had been all along. When Ryan had told me last night to get out of my head, I hadn't understood, but I did now. Chris was a prick, and I knew that, yet I’d believed him as if his word was gold. He took advantage of her and had tried everything he could to get to her, even going through me. I reached my hands toward her face and used my thumbs to wipe the tears from under her eyes.
“I'm sorry.” I didn't know what else to say.
“You're an asshole!” she halfway shouted at me. “You should be sorry.”
I nodded because it was true. I pulled her to me. She didn't fight me. She wrapped her arms around me and laid her head on my chest.
“What am I going to do with you and your damned imagination?” she mumbled.
“You are something everyone wants, and I don't want to share.”
“You are never going to have to share me. Well, maybe with Ryan, but you know how needy he is.” She leaned back and looked at me.
“Can we please get Chris out of our relationship for good? I don't like him being involved.” I took her face in my hands and pressed my lips softly against hers.
“I don't either.”
“I'll talk to him next time I'm in the office. I won’t stand for him saying things about me that aren't true.”
I kissed her again, and as if on cue, Ryan’s truck came rumbling down the driveway.