“Good.”
“Also, I’m gonna take a look at getting my own house. I know it doesn’t seem like I’m gonna stay when I’m crashing at Carl’s ranch, so I’m gonna buy a bigger place, and maybe when she’s older, she can stay over there some days.”
I opened my mouth to tell him no way in hell but quickly shut it before anything came out. It wasn’t a crazy idea. A father who wanted to be involved with his daughter’s life was a good thing. It still felt very weird.
Even though I knew what had happened, I still had trouble thinking of Alex as anything but the man who had ditched me after a one-night stand. I wondered how long it’d take for me to get over that. If ever.
It didn’t help that every time I was near him and I saw those muscles or smelled that earthy, manly scent of his, I wanted him. Even all dusty and dirty from the ranch, I wanted him. I just didn’t know if I wanted him because of what I’d felt in the past or if there was something still there. The truth was, other than our one night, he’d been all but a stranger to me the last thirteen years.
The memory of the kiss in the conference room still haunted me, the warmth of his mouth on mine, the feel of my breasts as they rubbed against his chest, those strong hands on my ass.
I sucked in a breath and leaned against a wall. I only barely avoided rubbing my thighs together.
Was this out of control lust from a woman who didn’t get enough? I didn’t know.
“Something wrong?” Alex said.
I shook my head quickly. “No, no, no. Wait. You’re goi
ng to buy a house, not rent?”
Alex nodded. “Yeah, I figured that’ll prove I want to stay.”
“Yeah, I guess it would.”
The only thing I couldn’t figure out was how he was even going to afford a house. It wasn’t exactly like houses in Livingston were expensive, but as far as I knew, Alex was working as a ranch hand for Carl. Even if our friend was being generous, it wasn’t like he’d be able to pay enough for a man to buy his own house.
I wanted to ask Alex about it but decided against it. It wasn’t my place to question him on that yet. Kadie didn’t know who he really was, and he’d not said anything about a house to her, so it wasn’t like he was setting her up to be disappointed. We were in a good place, and I didn’t want to say something that would make things tense again.
“I’ve got to get going,” Alex said. “Carl is waiting on me to come back and help him with something. Thanks again for this.” He nodded toward the back door.
“You’re welcome.” I offered him a soft smile.
He started for the front door before stopping. “We should have dinner sometime.”
All my good feelings vanished. No matter how attracted I was to Alex, I didn’t want him to think he could step back into something with me because of that kiss.
“That’s not a good idea,” I said. “I told you before. Letting you into Kadie’s life doesn’t mean we’re a couple.”
“I know, I know. I’m not talking about having dinner with just you. I don’t want a date. I wanted to have dinner as a family. Or sort of family. Whatever.”
I nodded slowly. “Okay, I’ll think that over. That sounds fair.”
We waved to me and continued on his way as I stayed in the kitchen.
The sound of the front door closing reached my ears a few seconds later, but I could barely hear it over the thumping pulse in my ears. I wasn’t sure if I was worried about being on a date with him because of his reaction or my own.
I looked through the window at Kadie.
“This is all for you, sweetie. All for you.”
I almost believed that. Almost.
Chapter 18
Alex
On Saturday, late morning, Carl and I hopped in his truck and drove down the road a bit to check out the land next door.