It didn’t matter. I’d just given Aspyn a big speech about taking things slowly. Even if I hadn’t, my new house wasn’t ready. All I had to offer was room in the cabin, which was even smaller than her house.
My only choice was to hurry on my renovations. Was I getting ahead of myself? Aspyn asking me to stay the night was way different than me asking her to move into my place.
I barked out a laugh. Carl had pushed my mind to weird places. Before, I’d hoped to be friends with Aspyn again, and now I dared to dream of more. Maybe dared to dream of too much.
No. I couldn’t let myself think that way. A man pushed through problems, whether his own or those of the people he cared about.
I started my truck. It was time to head back.
* * *
Pulling back off the county road onto Carl’s ranch, I noticed Perri’s car parked by Carl’s truck. I chuckled a little, but the sight warmed my heart. I’d thought he’d be making a big mistake, but it turned out his only mistake had been in waiting so long.
I drove a little farther down until I arrived at the cabin. Once inside, I pulled out my phone and pulled up the app for my bank. I’d been dropping a lot of cash lately and wanted to make sure everything was still okay. My gaze flicked over the numbers.
I shook my head. I didn’t know why I was so worried. Maybe it was because I was still getting used to having the kind of money in my account that I did. They’d even warned me it was too much, and if something happened to the bank, the government could only reimburse me so much.
It was nice to have at least one thing in my life I didn’t have to worry about.
I headed to the shower, flipping on the water and waiting for a minute for it to warm up. When the warm steam started to rise from the spray, I stepped inside and started lathering up.
I thought back to Aspyn coming around my fingers and her desperate attempt to stop her moans and cries from bothering any of her neighbors. I sighed, hard and regretting not taking her up on her offer to stay. Even if I’d not decided to stay all night, my dick would have appreciated at least one round inside her.
Should I take care of myself? No, I didn’t want to. I’d be a little uncomfortable, but I wanted relief only if it involved her.
Doing my best to ignore my raging hard-on, I rinsed, toweled myself off, and headed for bed.
* * *
A psychiatrist told me once that if you recognize you’re in a dream, you should be able to control it. Even if you can’t control it, understanding that it’s fake is supposed to make sure it has no power over you.
What complete bullshit.
When I woke up, surrounded by flames and smoke in the cabin, for a second, just for a second, I thought I was actually awake. That is until I ran downstairs, and the front door was blocked by a man in a welder’s mask.
“You’re gonna die, you know,” he said, his clothing burning. “You’re already supposed to be dead.”
“Fuck you,” I shouted. “I’m not supposed to be dead.”
Burning wood dropped from the ceiling, almost burying me.
I charged the man, screaming.
When I hit him, I shrieked in pain. He was gone, and now I lay underneath a pile of burning wood and metal, my leg twisted and broken.
“This isn’t real,” I said. “This isn’t real.”
The man in the welding mask reappeared. “You’re gonna die, you know.” He pulled off the mask, revealing my face. “You know why, Alex?”
“This isn’t real!” I shouted.
“Because you know you deserve to.”
I awoke, screaming, my entire body bathed in sweat. I checked my body for injuries and burns. Though I had the scars on my leg from the original accident, there was nothing new.
I stared down at my hands. It was unfair. Damn unfair. It should have been one of my happiest nights since returning, and it’d been a while since I’d last had a nightmare.
It was hard not to wonder if talking about the nightmares had brought them back. I didn’t have to be a headshrinker to know that trying to pretend they never existed wasn’t going to help either, though.