I followed her into the kitchen and sat at the table while she made up two mugs, putting in just the right amount of cream and sugar.
“Ava really is a smart one,” she commented. “And sneaky, too.” Her eyes glittered with amusement, and I had to laugh.
“She is that,” I agreed. “She’s usually pretty good, but she knows she’s got you wrapped around her finger.”
“It’s a grandmother’s right to spoil her granddaughter!” Mom said, also laughing. She shook her head. “And what about Ace? How are things going with him?”
I sighed. “You were right,” I said. “I have to tell him the truth about Ava.” I glanced toward Ava’s closed door, gnawing at the inside of my cheek. “I don’t know how I’m going to tell him, but he deserves to know.”
“He does,” Mom agreed, her eyes serious.
“I was going to break up with him,” I admitted. Even though that wasn’t my plan anymore, it still hurt to even think about.
“Things aren’t working out between you?” Mom asked.
“No, things are great, actually,” I said, rubbing at my forehead. “That’s just the problem. I feel so guilty. I’m not really lying to him, but I know I need to tell him the truth.” I paused. “I’m already nearly in love with him,” I confessed. “So breaking up with him is already going to break my heart. Whatever he thinks, even if he gets mad at me or if he decides that he doesn’t want to have anything to do with Ava and never wants to see me again, there’s no way to get out of this without a broken heart.”
“Give him the benefit of the doubt,” Mom suggested. “Maybe he’ll surprise you. After all, he’s met Ava. He knows you have a child. And he hasn’t run away yet.”
“True,” I agreed. I paused. “But I don’t want to let myself consider that things could work out with Ace if he knows the truth. Because if it doesn’t happen, that’s going to hurt. And it’s going to hurt even more if I get my hopes up.”
“Oh honey,” Mom said sadly.
I gave her a half smile. “Come on; you’re supposed to tell me that you knew I should have told him, even back when I first found out I was pregnant.”
Mom shrugged. I could tell that there was something else she wanted to say.
“What is it?” I asked.
Mom sighed. “I hate to say this. And I’ve never met the guy, so don’t think that I have something against him. But before you tell him about Ava, are you sure that you’ve considered everything that might happen?”
“What do you mean?” I asked, confused.
“Custody,” Mom said. She grimaced. “I know you have rights as a mother. But if he wants that little girl to be his, and you didn’t even tell him about her when you first found out that you were pregnant, he could fight you for custody.”
I swallowed hard. “I know,” I said. “And I thought about it.” I shook my head. “But I didn’t tell him about her because he didn’t want to have kids.”
“Still, he might be able to prove that he does now,” Mom reminded me. “And if he’s just out of the military and has a stable life now, the court could look at him as a responsible, financially sound choice for her parenting. You might at least end up with shared custody.”
“I know,” I repeated, my voice quiet. I tried to think of a way to explain. “The truth is, if he wants Ava that bad, I’m not going to fight him on it,” I told her. “Ava’s my whole world; you know that. But if Ace wants to know his daughter, if he wants to be part of her life, then I can’t stop that.”
Mom hummed in response. “I think that’s a very mature way of thinking about it,” she said.
I ran a hand back through my hair. “The thing is, I feel bad for having kept her from him,” I admitted. “You should have seen him with her last night. He was so great.”
Mom raised an eyebrow. “You asked him for help before you asked me?” she teased.
I laughed and shook my head. “Never,” I promised. “But he called, and I told him Ava was sick, and the next thing I knew, he was on the front doorstep with soup and juice and everything.”
“He sounds like a really great man,” Mom said, her eyes twinkling.
I nodded. “He’s really great,” I told her. “Like I said, I’m falling in love with him.” I paused. “But that only makes me feel guiltier about the whole Ava thing.”
“Then you have to tell him,” Mom said.
“I know,” I sighed. “But I have to do it in person. And one thing at a time. I want Ava to feel better, first and foremost. Then I’ll start figuring out how to tell Ace about her.”
“I think you’re doing the right thing,” Mom said. “And I know it’s not going to be easy, but I am proud of you. And I’ll do anything that I can to help you out, with getting Ava back to tip-top shape or anything to do with Ace.”