“It's been really good, actually,” I told her and returned the gesture, squeezing her tightly.
“Amazing is more like it!” Mina interjected, her energy contagious. My poor best friend needed to get out more, which meant I did too.
I laughed. “Yeah, it's been pretty busy. I feel like I never really get out anymore, but I love what I do, so I guess maybe that's a good thing.”
“You're lucky that way,” Jenny agreed, nodding her head.
“What, aren't you enjoying working at the café anymore?” I asked and crossed my arms over my chest as a warm breeze blew past us.
“Oh, it's fine,”
Jenny said. “Just not what I see myself doing for the rest of my life. I've been thinking about going back to school.”
“Oh, wow! What are you wanting to study?” I asked and forced myself to focus on her. A feeling of trepidation sat on my shoulders, and I knew why. Lino, my ex, was most likely somewhere in the party, lurking on the edges of it. Beloved by everyone. But me.
I flowed from conversation to conversation for a little while, almost feeling like things were going to be good, and then I saw him.
I swallowed hard, knowing that I should go over and say hello to Lino but not sure what I wanted to say. There was a part of me that would never forgive him for what he had done to me. But at the same time, I couldn't deny that there had been problems with our whole relationship, and the further I got from being in a relationship with him, the more I was able to accept that, yes, there had been some serious problems there. We would never have worked out long-term.
I liked him as a person, but that was it. Maybe it was about time we became friends again.
As though drawn by my thoughts, Lino made his way through the laughing crowd toward me. I felt like maybe I should run from him, he was so predatory, but I was pinned there by his gaze.
“Hey Lino,” I said hesitantly. “How are you?”
Lino smiled down at me. “Hey Gretchen,” he said. “I’m good. Better now. You're looking beautiful as always.” His eyes raked over my white dress, stroking over my curves and undressing me with his gaze.
I couldn't help but shudder a little. There had always been such fire between us, a fire that I still couldn't deny, even though I knew we were never going to sleep together again. “How is business at the dive shop?” I asked, not wanting to dwell on the past.
“Good,” Lino said. “It’s been really good this year. Lots of tourists coming down here. Just one of those years, I guess. But it's nice to have, especially after last year was so dead. It’s been busy as hell, which hasn’t give me much time to do the things I love, but it’s all good.” With the way he watched me, I couldn’t help but wonder if I were one of those things he loved. But no…that ship had sailed one stormy dark night, a long time ago.
“Mmm, I can imagine,” I said. “Things have been good at the massage parlor too. I've been busy.” I tried hard not to let sarcasm slip into my voice seeing that he hadn’t asked about my business. Typical. He was focused on himself and not much more. Not unless it centered around him getting laid.
“Yeah, I haven't seen you around the bars in ages,” Lino said as he continued to watch me closely.
“You've been looking?” I asked, arching an eyebrow at him even though I knew this was dangerous territory and that I should be trying to get out of this conversation as quickly as possible.
“Oh, don't try to be coy,” Lino said, shaking his head, a glint in his eye. He licked his lips, and something in my stomach tightened. “You know you're the sexiest thing on this island. I'm not the only person who's been looking for you.”
I bit my lower lip. “Yeah, well.” I glanced around, eyes desperately casting about for someone else who I could run off to talk to. “Sexy isn’t something I’m interested in talking about.”
Lino laughed. “Don't worry, I'm not going to make you do anything that you don't want to do,” he said. “But maybe we could get coffee at some point. It would be nice to catch up, Gretchen. It’s been a long time.” He reached out and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear.
I started to jerk back but decided that would be worse than just standing still. There was no way I was letting him know that I still had feelings for him after all the shit we’d been through.
I sighed. “I don't think that I'm ready for that to happen yet, Lino,” I admitted. “I thought that maybe I was, but I don't think I am.”
I was a bit disappointed by myself. I wanted to be ready to move on. I didn't want to look back anymore. But I could tell that Lino was still looking back. I knew what he was looking for. He wanted us to go behind some of the dunes and have sex. That wasn't about to happen.
“Hey, Gretchen, there you are!” Mina said, catching my elbow and saving me from myself.
Finally. I pasted a smile on my face, but I could see the knowing look in her eyes; she knew exactly what she'd interrupted. She nodded at Lino. “Sorry, I need Gretchen's help with something over there,” she said, nodding off toward the crowd, not even bothering to come up with an excuse. She had never really liked Lino all that much.
“Yeah, all right.” Lino tilted his head to the side as I took a few steps back with Mina. “Call me sometime and let’s get a drink. My treat?”
“Sure.” I turned and ran my hand down my face. “That guy. I swear.”
She tugged me away, and I breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks,” I said.