“You should be,” I said, looking with wonder at the waterfall. Then, I stripped off my shirt. “Come on, let's go for a swim before we eat. I'm really hot after the hike.”
Gretchen laughed and nodded. “Yeah, sounds like a good idea,” she said, stripping off her dress and revealing a sexy black swimsuit underneath it.
We swam around a little and then pulled ourselves out of the water, sitting on some of the rocks next to the pool. “I can't believe there aren't more people here,” I said, looking around. To think that it was this beautiful, and yet we had it all to ourselves.
“Yeah,” Gretchen said, smiling happily. “This is one of the best-kept local secrets, I think. During the summer, you sometimes will get tourists out here, but for the most part, I think they just stick to the beaches. So, it's a special place.”
I munched on one of the sandwiches that she'd brought; Gretchen picked at hers a little. “I don't know for sure,” she said slowly, “but you seemed kind of down when I came to get you from the hotel. Is everything okay back home?”
I blinked over at her in surprise. “Wow, you're good,” I said. Then, I narrowed my eyes teasingly. “How long were you watching me, anyway?”
She laughed. “I wasn't creeping or anything like that,” she said. “But I guess as part of the massage stuff that I do, I'm pretty well-trained at noticing things like that from people's expressions and body language.”
“That makes sense,” I said. “I guess I have that with people as well; it's what makes me so good at all the PR and stuff like that. And the actual selling part. I can always tell when a couple is ready to buy a house or not. Well, almost always.”
“What's up?” Gretchen asked. Then, she blushed. “If it's okay that I'm asking. If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine too. But, I'm here to listen if you need.”
I sighed. “It's nothing big,” I said. “Probably I'm just over-thinking all of it. But I have the very real fear that the company doesn't need me, and the longer I'm away, the more I'm proving this to them.”
“From everything that I've read, though, and that isn't that much, just Mina sent me some articles and told me that I'd better know at least a little about you if I was going to date you.” She paused, looking sheepish. Then, she forged onwards. “From everything that I've read, though, you're, like, the face of the company, aren't you? I doubt they're going just to get rid of you. If they were going to, they would have done it sooner; they wouldn't have just sent you on an extended vacation, right?”
“Problem is, it's in the company's bylaws that if they want to get rid of me, they either need to disband the company entirely or buy me out. We all knew they weren't going to be able to buy me out, and of course they don't want to disband the company.” I sighed and ran a hand back through my hair. “The thing is, I always thought that they needed me. I thought that. But the longer I spend here, the more I'm starting to realize that that isn't the case.”
“What do you mean?” Gretchen asked. “Did one of your coworkers say something to you?”
“No,” I said. “Paul, he's one of the co-owners, one of my best friends, he keeps assuring me that they're definitely more than ready to welcome me back as soon as I've sorted things out in my life and got all the partying and stuff out of my system.” I frowned. “Thing is, I haven't even really been doing any partying here. I've gone out for a couple of nights.” I shook my head. “Anyway, that's neither here nor there.”
“So, why are you so sure they don't need you?” she pressed.
My mouth twisted. “It seems that in my absence, the company is doing better than it ever has with me there. I looked at the stocks this morning, and…” I shrugged.
Gretchen shook her head. “But that could be because of anything,” she said.
“Like the fact that I'm not there giving them bad press every week,” I said bitterly.
“Or the fact that the country has been recovering from a recession for a long time and the economy is currently on an upswing,” Gretchen suggested. “I'm seeing better business at my shop now than I ever was before, and Mina is too. People are traveling more, and that also means that people are probably buying houses and things like that now that they actually have the money to do so.”
I smiled over at her. “You could be right,” I allowed. “But what if-”
“Even if you think that your bad press, as you called it, was tarnishing the company's reputation before, there's no reason why your going back to the company has to be detrimental,” Gretchen interrupted. “You gave your apology. You said that you were going to be going away for a while to get things out of your system. If you go back and you don't get yourself into those same messes that you've been getting caught up in…”
I sighed and shook my head. “But that's the thing,” I said. “I'm not sure that I can promise that. I've been doing good down here, but once I get back, I'm afraid that I'm going to fall back into the same patterns that I've been falling into for years now.”
Gretchen frowned at me. “That could happen,” she agreed. “Or, if you want to make a change, you know you can make that change. You just have to want it enough. If your company isn't motivation enough to clean up your act, then nothing is going to change.” She blushed. “Sorry, I know it's not my place to say that to you.”
“No, that's fine,” I said, stopping her apologies. I reached over and squeezed her hand. “Honestly. It's easier said than done, I guess.”
“Of course, it is,” Gretchen said. She smiled at me. “But I do think that you can do it.”
“I appreciate that,” I said. I turned back to the water for a moment, considering. Then, I shook myself a little. “I know I'm just over-thinking things. I'm sure things will be fine when I get back there, but… Yeah.” I glanced over at Gretchen. “Thanks for listening. And seriously, thanks for bringing me here.” I laughed, feeling a bit self-conscious to admit, “I didn't think I was ever going to see you again, and that was also bumming me out this morning.”
Gretchen rolled her eyes. “Come on. You don't have to lie to me,” she said. “I know you could get any girl on this island. You would have forgotten about me by the end of the week, if not by the end of the day.”
I frowned over at her. “Like I said, the ‘me’ who's here is not the ‘me’ who I have been back in New York.”
“Good,” Gretchen said, even though I could see in her eyes that she still wasn't sure that she believed me. She paused. “You know, in the spirit of continuing to see one another, there's going to be a luau on Monday that you might want to come to.” She paused. “It's going to be mostly locals. I'm going to know everyone there, and you're definitely going to be the outsider, but it will be great.”
I snorted. “What, you don't think that the famous Christian Wall can handle a crowd of people?”