I had just spent almost an hour talking about my feelings for Jake Middleton. He was off limits—he would always be off limits to me—and yet, I had fantasized ab
out him many times, especially since our dinner together. I had no right to those dreams, and I knew it.
“This is wrong, Kristen,” I told myself, but my mind was just not willing to be tamed.
It was just an innocent dinner, and now that it was behind us, we were just boss and secretary once more. And yet, I still kept hoping for more. It was wrong, but I couldn’t help myself.
There had been only one working day between our dinner and now, and Jake had been very, very busy. Still, his mood was a lot better, he had made it a point to look and smile at me, and he was considerably nicer. Which incidentally made it harder for me to contain my fantasies about him.
I had just changed into fresh clothes after my shower when I glanced at my phone to check my work email. I froze when I noticed a message from Jake on my screen. With baited breath, I read his message.
“Hi, Kristen,” he had written. “I was just wondering if you’d like to have dinner again this weekend, I could pick you up? Let me know. Jake.”
I read the message again, just to make sure my imagination wasn’t getting the better of me. When I was convinced that Jake had, in fact, texted me to ask me out again, I felt my spirits soar. This was what I had been secretly hoping for, ever since he had dropped me off the other night.
“I’d love to,” I replied.
There was an annoying little voice at the back of my head that chided me for my enthusiasm and my acceptance, but I thought of Jake and had to ignore it.
Chapter Fifteen
Jake
“Daddy,” Noah asked, staring up at me as I applied some aftershave in the bathroom. “Where are you going?”
I paused for a moment, wondering what I should tell him. I decided the safest bet would be to blame it on work. It was the reason he was most accustomed to hearing, and I wasn’t even sure if Noah would be aware of the practice of dating. I knew I certainly didn’t want to have to explain it to him.
“I have a work dinner, buddy,” I replied, ruffling his hair with my hand.
“You look different than when you’re going to work,” he said observantly.
He was definitely right about that. Usually, I wore suits, blazers, or collared, long sleeved dress shirts with dark pants. Today, I was wearing dark jeans with a laid back, dressed down shirt that made me feel more like myself. Or more specifically, it made me feel like the man I had been in the early days of my military career, around the time I had met and fallen in love with Daphne.
“You’re right,” I said. “I do look a little different, huh?”
“I like it, though,” Noah said, giving me a big smile.
“Yeah?”
“You look…happy.”
I turned to him and shook my head. “Sometimes I can’t believe it.”
“Believe what?”
“How smart you are.”
Noah beamed and then he followed me out of the bathroom like a little lamb. A part of me felt guilty for even setting up this date. Not only was it my first date since Daphne, but it was also cutting into my one-on-one time with Noah. I had no idea what had possessed me to write to Kristen in the first place. I had just been thinking about my life and about the dinner we had had, and I just acted on a whim.
Once the message had been sent, I started panicking a little, but the moment I got her response, I felt relief flood through me. She had said yes, and seeing that yes made me realize how much I liked Kristen and how attracted to her I was. Janet was in the living room flipping through a magazine when Noah and I walked in. She looked up and gave me a small smile.
“You look nice.”
“Thank you,” I said awkwardly, but I really appreciated the compliment. “You’ll call me if there’s anything?”
“Of course,” she nodded.
I kissed Noah and bumped fists with him before I headed out. I drove over to Kristen’s apartment, feeling a little light headed. It had been years since I’d been on a date, and I wasn’t even sure how to act anymore. Was a hug okay? Was I supposed to wait in the car or go to her doorstep? Was I meant to kiss her goodnight when I dropped her off or just go for a peck on the cheek? A part of me felt like turning tail right then and there and canceling the date.