“Wow, you’re kinda small for a ten-year-old.”
When Mom emerged again, she was wearing a short red dress and a face full of makeup. Somehow, she looked ten years older to me. They left the house without looking back, and I walked around, wondering why my parents were so different from everyone else’s. That was when I decided to bake cookies. For the first time, the house was completely mine, and I could do whatever I wanted. And what I really wanted was a chocolate chip cookie.
I found a recipe book and followed the instructions diligently. Within the hour I had fat, chunky chocolate chip cookies and a deep and satisfying sense of accomplishment. I had piled the cookies into a bowl, headed into my room, and spent the whole evening and most of the night eating cookies and playing with my imaginary friends. And for just a few hours, I forgot that I had strange parents. I forgot that I was alone. I even forgot that I had no friends. It was enough to just sit there and eat cookies. Which was why I had always had a fondness for baking and cookie eating.
“My mommy was too busy to bake me cookies,” I told Noah honestly.
He looked sadly at me. “Really?”
“Yeah.”
Noah looked sad for me, and I felt a burst of love for him. He was such a sensitive and compassionate child. I kissed his forehead and then pushed the tray of cookies towards him. “Go ahead,” I said. “I think they’re cool enough now.”
Noah was eating his first cookie when Jake walked in. It was earlier than I had expected to see him, and I jumped up in excitement. “You’re back,” I said.
I was just about to run into his arms when I remembered Noah. Even though the three of us spent a lot of time together, Jake and I were careful about being affectionate in front of Noah. We didn’t want him to get invested in our relationship just yet. It was merely a safety precaution, but sometimes I wished we didn’t have to be so careful.
“How was your boys’ night?” I asked, reigning in my enthusiasm and sitting back down.
“Good,” Jake replied. “Noah? Can I get a hello?”
Noah looked up at his father and smiled. “We made cookies, Daddy.”
He laughed. “I can see that. Is that the reason I’m being neglected by my favorite son?”
Noah giggled. “I’m your only son.”
“Here you go,” I said, pushing a cookie towards him. “Go crazy.”
We spent a good half an hour eating cookies and swapping stories about our day. Noah sat on my lap and gave Jake a play by play of everything we had done.
“The fort’s still up, I see,” Jake said.
“I can take it down in the night,” I said.
“No!” Noah said, looking towards his fort.
Jake laughed. “Let’s leave it up,” he said. “I think it gives character to the room.”
“Me, too,” Noah piped up.
Noah ended up falling asleep in my arms, and I kissed his cheek softly as I brushed the hair from his face. He looked so peaceful in sleep; all I wanted to do was kiss him all over. When I looked up, I realized that Jake was watching me carefully. I wondered if it upset him to see his son being mothered by someone other than Daphne. For a second, I wasn’t sure if he was touched by the sight or angered by it.
“I’d better get him to bed,” Jake said, rising to his feet and reaching out for Noah.
We
made the transfer smoothly, and Jake disappeared down the hall with Noah in his arms. I took the time to clear up a little in the living room. When I turned, I realized that Jake was leaning against the wall, watching me work.
“Hi there,” I said. “How long have you been standing there?”
He smiled. “A minute or two.”
“You could have said something.”
“I liked my view,” he replied. “And, I wanted to admire it for a moment.”
I tried to hide my blush from him by turning towards the sink to wash the remaining dishes. A second later, I felt Jake’s arms encircle me as his body closed in on mine. It felt so good to be near him. I missed everything about him when he was not with me, including his smell.