“That is not true,” Christina said. “I have not been acting mad toward her at all. You have to understand how strange of a situation this is. I won’t lie and say that I feel completely comfortable, knowing my husband is watching me like a hawk, judging my every move, and some woman is lurking by the door to snatch my family away at any second. Do you know what kind of pressure that puts on me? I am trying to make this work, but I don’t feel okay enough to let down my guard and feel free to be who I am.”
“Let down your guard?” I asked, getting angrier. “Why would you have a guard to let down? You were the one that left us. If anyone should have their guard up, it should be me and Kayla, to protect us from the likes of you, and how selfish of a person you really are. I knew you didn’t really think you made a mistake. You just proved it by defending yourself and blaming the outcome of this on everyone but yourself.”
“Ryan, I came here to put our family back together,” she said angrily. “I came here so that we could fix this, and we could become that loving couple and daughter that we used to be. I want us to have that. I want us to be a family again. Why can’t you see that?”
“We had a family, Christina,” I yelled at her. “We had a family until you decided to up and leave us for Dale.”
“There is no reason that we can’t have that again,” she said pleadingly. “That we can’t have our home with our traditions and our togetherness.”
“You don’t give a damn about any of that,” I scoffed. “You haven’t shown me one damn thing to make me feel otherwise. You have mocked me and my choices at every single turn. You got mad when I didn’t want to talk about you and me, when I wanted to focus on Kayla, which should have been the most important thing for you. I don’t understand why you are in such a hurry to push this relationship crap. Didn’t you get enough relationship when you ran off with Dale to God knows where? Or did you do the same thing to him, too? Did you get tired of his bullshit charm and just woke up one day and bailed on him, leaving someone else there to clean up the mess? Not that I give two shits about that man, but it seems to be your MO to just use and abuse people and throw them out.”
“Goddamnit,” she screamed. “He broke up with me, okay? Is that what you want to hear? He crushed me like I’m sure you would love to do to me as well.”
I stopped and dropped my hands to my sides, looking back at Alissa in disbelief. Her eyes got wide, and she shook her head, thinking exactly what I was thinking. Christina didn’t come back here of her own free will. She had nowhere else to go. Anger started to bubble in my gut, thinking about how hard I pushed to help her have a relationship with her daughter. I had given up the love of my life, thinking that I was doing the best thing that I could for my daughter, and all for someone who was running from one relationship back to the safety she thought she would find here with me and Kayla.
“Ryan,” she said, realizing that she had just fucked up.
“Shh,” I said, trying to collect my thoughts. “Just be quiet for a minute so I can process what you just said.”
My heart was beating furiously in my chest, even though my outside demeanor was calm and collected. It was taking everything in me not to toss her straight out the door in a fit of anger. I paced back and forth, rubbing my chin before stopping and looking up at her, an eerie laugh escaping my chest.
“You mean to tell me that you came here under the guise that you realized you made a mistake and you wanted us, not him. But you really were just trying to find a safe place to land? You thought you would come right back into our lives and slide right back in without thought. You came back to my house, and broke up my relationship, and turned Kayla’s life upside down, and you were doing it all because your little boyfriend kicked you to the curb? How fucking typical is that? You’re a selfish little bitch. How dare you think you can march back in here? How dare you call Alissa the homewrecker when, in fact, you’re the one trying to wreck this house? You’re the one that came in, trying to break up something really good between me, Kayla, and Alissa.”
“Ryan, I know it sounds bad, but that is not how it happened,” she said, putting up her hands. “I was already ready to leave, wanting to come back here and be with you and Kayla. He did me a favor by cutting it off.”
“Oh, stop with the bullshit, Christina,” I said. “Please, stop. I don’t want to hear any more of your damn lies. Can’t you, for once, just be fucking honest? Can’t you admit that you just came back here for my roof, my bank account, and my stability because you have thrown away every relationship with every person you have ever met?”
“That’s not how it is, please Ryan,” she said, pleading.
“No, that is exactly how it is. You don’t give a damn about Kayla. You never have, and you never will. That is why it was so hard for you to be a mother to her, because you don’t actually give two shits about your own fucking daughter.”
“How dare you?” she asked through gritted teeth. “I have raised that little girl from the time I pushed her out of my womb. Do you know how much I have sacrificed for the two of you?”
From behind me, I heard a small giggle, and I turned and looked at Alissa. She had stayed silent this entire time, which I was sure had to have been difficult. She was shaking her head and rubbing her face, completely done with listening to the two of us argue back and forth.
“What the hell is so funny?” Christina shouted at Alissa. “Just leave!”
“No, nothing is funny,” Alissa said through an exhausted laugh. “There isn’t a single thing about any of this that’s funny. In fact, it’s really sad. It’s sad that you think you can come in here and act this way when you are the one with the problem. I’m sorry, Ryan, but I’ve held my tongue for far too long with this situation.”
I nodded and gestured for her to continue.
She turned back to look at Christina. “You said earlier that you came to fix what you had broken, but sweetie, you are way too late for that. Where were you when Kayla would cry herself to sleep every night? Where were you when she would stare out the window, hoping you would show up for holidays? Where were you when her grades began to slip, and she didn’t give a damn about anything? Oh, that’s right. You were shacked up, trying to live the single life. You are the most selfish woman I have ever met. Children are a blessing, and there are so many people out there who can’t have them. You
can, and you did, and you threw her away like some little doll you got tired of playing with. You don’t deserve to be here. You don’t deserve Ryan in your life. And you definitely don’t deserve one single hug, kiss, or kind word from that beautiful little girl. If anyone should leave, it should be you. Before you do more damage than you already have. Go find some other guy who will fall for your bullshit, and get the hell out of these beautiful people’s lives.”
I looked over at Alissa with love and thanks for the words she spoke. I could tell she was more upset than I realized. Everything she said was the honest truth. It was a truth I couldn’t have said better myself. Alissa had cut right to the heart of things, and I could see how much she loved Kayla. It was all the more obvious compared to the coldhearted bitch that pretended to call herself a mother.
I was proud to have such a strong and loving woman beside me through all of this. I didn’t deserve it, not even for a second. Before I could even reach out to grab her hand, I saw Christina move in my peripheral vision.
“How dare you, you bitch,” she screamed, racing forward with her arm cocked back.
Christina approached and began to swing her hand toward Alissa’s face, and I grabbed her around the waist and pinned her hands behind her back. She screamed and struggled as I moved her toward the door and pushed her away from the two of us. I grabbed her purse from the coffee table and raced back toward her, watching as she tried to gather herself amongst her tears and anger. I threw her purse at her chest and shook my head.
“You are the biggest mistake I ever made,” I said calmly. “I don’t want you anywhere near this house ever again. Do you understand me? I could call the cops right now if I really wanted to, but I won’t. Instead, I’m giving you the opportunity to leave and completely forget that we exist. Don’t call, don’t show up, don’t send gifts, nothing. I will deal with the aftermath of what you have just done to our little girl, but I promise you it will be the last time that I ever do this. If I so much as hear that you are thinking about Kayla, I will take you to court and get your rights taken so fast, that you won’t even realize what happened. You wanted to be alone. Well, there you go. You got your wish. You’re all alone. Now get the hell out of our lives.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Alissa