Quinn filled a hole that I’d held onto for so long, hoping that Sarah would
fill it. When she didn’t, I left the hole there, allowing it to grow and completely consume my emotions. I had become scared and bitter, not trusting any woman for more than one date, and making myself believe that being in a relationship meant losing my freedom, losing myself. But the truth of it was, being with Quinn made all the good things inside me come shining forward, and I had never felt freer than when I was with her. She was an amazing mother, and I already knew that she would be an extremely caring wife; she showed me that when she was staying with us. She had been everything I wanted and needed from the beginning, and I was so glad I figured it out before I lost her for good.
The compassion that surrounded Quinn was deeper than I had seen in a person before. She felt everything so deeply, and in turn, did everything she could to protect others from feeling those same negative things. From what I gathered, fear had run her life for many years now, and for a good reason. She had lost one of the most precious things in the world: her baby boy. The pain that she dealt with was unimaginable, but she handled it with grace, compassion, and the understanding that every pain made you stronger, and every weakness made you that much more compassionate with others. She cared more for others than she did herself, and I wanted to be the man who stepped forward and filled that gap. I wanted to be the man who took care of her when she couldn’t do it herself.
I raised my body up and leaned my head on my propped-up hand. I stared down at Quinn and smiled as she turned toward me, kissing me gently on the nose. I never wanted to be without this woman again, because the little bit of time she was away was the worst time in my life. I couldn’t even imagine what it would have been like if I hadn’t come after her, if I had never apologized, and if she had never trusted me enough to tell me about the horrible events from her past. I told myself then and there that I could never take the chance of being without her again.
“I promise that I will love you forever,” I said, rubbing the hair out of her face. “You are the most amazing woman I have ever met, and I will never take you for granted, ever again. How would you feel about making our fake engagement into a real one?”
“Luke,” she said, her eyes wide. “Are you asking me to marry you? For real this time?”
“I am,” I said, with a big smile. “You are the most precious thing in my life besides Jake, and I know that he would be so happy to have you as his stepmother, even though I can already tell that he thinks of you as much more than that. I want to have a family with you, grow a family with you, and be your best friend through everything, good and bad. I want to be the man who comforts you when you are sad, and celebrates with you when you are happy.”
“I think you just wrote your vows,” she said, giggling.
“I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” I said, smiling. “Is that a yes?”
She looked at me for several moments, her eyes glimmering as tears welled up in them. Her lips were drawn into a small smile, and she breathed deeply, calming her nerves. She took in a deep breath and looked me in the eye.
“I have let fear rule me for so long,” she said. “Too long, really. I have missed out on beautiful things and beautiful people because I let fear trap me where I stood. With you, that fear just disappears. So, yes, of course, I want to marry you and have a beautiful family with you and Jake.”
I sat up on the couch and clapped my hands together excitedly, making Quinn giggle. I reached down and pulled her into my arms, pressing my lips against her tightly. I had finally found the woman of my dreams, and she was now going to be my wife—my real wife.
Epilogue
Two Years Later
Quinn
I stood in the large empty kitchen and closed my eyes, letting the heat of the sunlight warm my face. The smell of fresh paint wafted through the air, and I could hear Jake in the background with his father. I ran my hand over my swollen belly and rubbed circles around it. I could feel the baby kicking like crazy, and there was nothing more calming and reassuring than that feeling. I ran my hands down the wooden chair rail in the living room, looking up at the extremely high ceilings, imagining the size of the Christmas tree I could fit in there. Christmas had become my favorite holiday since Jake was with us every other year. On the off years, I still celebrated, even though Luke thought I was an elf in disguise. We still celebrated Christmas, just on a different day when Jake could be with us.
The new house, though, it was beautiful, everything I could imagine for our growing family. There were plenty of bedrooms, lots of space, and I could already picture family events, holidays, and just comfy lazy days cuddled up in the living room by the fireplace. I had seen probably twenty houses over the last several weeks, but this one was exactly what I had in mind when we found out we were expecting. Though I would always have fond memories of becoming a family in Luke’s place, it was too small for long-term, and with the baby getting close to showing his beautiful face, we knew we were going to need extra space, and pronto. I wanted to feel at home and have a fresh start with Luke and Jake, especially with Jake looking forward to his new baby brother in just a couple of months. We needed to be prepared for the antics of a now eight-year-old, and the chaos of having a brand-new baby in the house. Not to mention that this one wasn’t even born yet, and Luke was already talking about a third.
I waddled back up into the large kitchen and stood in the doorway, watching Jake as he ran in circles around the kitchen island, giggling very loudly. Luke was behind me at the door in the entryway discussing the details with the real estate agent. I wanted to see the upstairs again, but climbing the stairs with my big belly at that moment seemed too much of a chore, so instead, I stood there laughing at my beautiful family. Jake stopped and walked over to the window, looking out into the backyard. He shot a glance over at me and smiled, shaking his head at the beautiful view. I could see me and Jake standing in the kitchen, eating cookie dough, covered in flour, and waiting for the cookies to come out of the double ovens on the wall. The masterpieces that I could create in that kitchen were endless.
I smiled big, thinking about the fact that I had everything I’d ever wanted. I had never been happier, even when Luke originally told me he wanted me to marry him. It was definitely true at that moment that I didn’t think happier existed, but every day had become an adventure with my boys, and Luke never stopped gushing over me. He had promised that he would never let me go again and he held very tight to that promise. I had moved in almost immediately after he asked me to marry him for real, and put my house on the market. Steve wasn’t too sad to see me go, though I suspected he shed some tears when I drove off for the last time. When I got back to Luke’s, they had put together a little welcome-home party for me with just the three of us. Suffice it to say, Luke never slept on the pull-out again, and I was more than happy to have him in the bed with me.
It had been almost two years ago that the courts had finalized the joint custody agreement. It was so exciting and nerve-wracking when all of that went down, but so much less stressful knowing we weren’t bullshitting the courts, that we truly were a little family. Ms. Brown even came back by after the official papers were signed and brought us a tin of cookies to celebrate with. She was a really nice lady, who had even defended us in court against Sarah, who tried to pull some crazy stuff, making up lies about my past. It was easy enough to prove her wrong, but it still was stressful. Other than that initial drama, everything had been going really great. Jake loved being at our house, and we loved having him, so we agreed to take Jake whenever Sarah needed extra time away, which happened often.
Sarah was an interesting woman, someone you couldn’t trust as far as you could throw her, but she had turned out to be not as much of a pain in the ass as we’d expected. She was still resentful, which was something I didn’t think would ever go away, but she also seemed to really enjoy the time she was having to herself. Every time we picked up Jake, she was all ready to go out on the town, and she actually had started to date some guy who Jake didn’t like very much. Appar
ently, he was super rich, but really didn’t like kids, so while Sarah was dating him, we saw Jake a lot more than normal. When they broke up, Jake stayed with us for a week straight and then we went back to the regular schedule. It was crazy how Sarah had started as the main parent, but now was the least reliable of all. Still, we tried to foster a healthy relationship with her, since that bond was so important for Jake.
Another reason I figured she was playing nice was because Luke kept true to his word, with my blessing, and continued to pay Sarah the same amount of alimony and child support he’d been paying before getting joint custody. To her, it was a lifeline; to us, it was annoying, but doable, especially since Luke had gotten a major bump in pay after his team came back two years in a row with really successful seasons. It had been a really exciting couple of years for everyone. Even Sarah was going through some crazy changes. Luke had tried to be the best father he could, which meant burying the hatchet with Sarah and moving forward, allowing Jake to have whatever relationship with her that he wanted to have. For me, she wasn’t anyone I needed to worry about, and most of the time I stayed out of things, leaving the pick-ups and drop-offs to Luke unless he was too busy with a game or practice.
Luke was trying to make sure Jake saw that despite the troubles of the past, he was okay with Sarah, that all the adults were okay. Luke went as far as inviting Sarah to our wedding. I personally thought it was a bit much, almost like rubbing salt into her wounds, but thankfully she declined, buying us a gaudy vase as a gift. Luke laughed when we received it, saying it was crazy that he was getting a gift that actually came from his own pocket. I just laughed at him, telling him that was life, and at least she put enough thought into it to pick it out herself. I was really trying hard to always be nice to and about Sarah because I could see how much it meant to Jake. He loved the rare occasions that we could all stay in a room together and have a peaceful conversation with no bickering or fighting. All in all, everything had improved drastically on the Sarah front.
In fact, everything in life had become absolutely perfect. I started out thinking I had everything I ever wanted, but it just kept getting better and better as time passed. Now we were getting ready to introduce another member to our happy little family, and it was definitely a dream come true for me. The doctors had been monitoring everything very closely, but so far everything was perfect, with no complications or signs of any of the problems I’d had in the past. I ruffled Jake’s hair as he ran past me, laughing as he acted like he was a superhero fighting the mighty villain. I walked over to the window and stared out, sighing deeply at the peace and contentment that I felt. As I watched the birds in the backyard, Luke walked up behind me, wrapping his arms around me and rubbing my belly.
“Hey there, little buddy,” Luke said, talking to the baby. “Kick once for major love for this house, kick twice for major dislike.”
I laughed as the baby did a tumble roll in my bell, sticking his butt into my stomach where Luke’s hand was. Luke laughed too, kissing me gently on the cheek. I turned my head and looked at him.
“I think that means he majorly approves,” I laughed.
“Oh, I want to show you the porch,” Luke said excitedly, as he took my hand and led me outside.
I stood on the deck looking out over the lush green lawns ahead of me. The yard was huge, and I could already see the kids going crazy over the backyard. Just as I thought that, Jake raced past me and did a tumble roll out into the grass. Luke and I laughed as he jumped back to his feet and took a bow. He then took off, running off the pancakes and syrup we had let him have that morning, knowing we wanted him to start his day on a happy note, hoping that moving wasn’t going to be too stressful on him. Apparently, it wasn’t going to faze him at all.