I poured myself a drink and sat on the couch. My hand rested where Kendall and I had made love. I imagined the warmth of her body and fought against the images in my skull, because they would only make me feel worse. I leaned forward to place my glass on the coffee table and noticed the photo album I had shown to Kendall. I picked it up and started to look at some of the pictures of my past and painful childhood.
I looked at the picture of Peter and me together as kids. We looked happy and close. The later the pictures were taken and there were less where we appeared together. I only showed up with Dad. I realized this wasn’t just a photo album of my past. It was a timeline of events that had led up to this moment.
I summed it up in my mind, and it tormented me, I had a brother who loved me and had protected me, my mother had cheated on my dad and had asked me to keep a dark secret. A wedge had been forced between my parents, and my dad couldn’t fight the betrayal and had struck out with his drinking and his being abusive. Still, Peter had tried to remain close to me, but I had slowly pushed him away to the point of non-existence.
Finally, Dad had died, and both Mom and Peter held no importance in my life, and I had found that I really had no concern for their wellbeing whatsoever, and I had almost banished them from my mind.
As I sat there and looked at the album, I started to feel like shit, and deep inside myself, I wished that my accident had not happened so I wouldn’t have to deal with these emotions. If I had been my old self, none of this would have happened, and I wouldn’t be sat here feeling like a tormented soul who felt more lost and alone.
Nice guys always finish last…
Chapter Thirty-Two
Kendall
I arrived at Peter’s office setup. I looked at from the parking lot, and it was a far cry from Elijah’s workplace. The building was located on a small shopping strip, and just subtly blended in with the stores which were stood either side of it. If you had not looked for it specifically, you could have bypassed it all together.
“Morning Kendall,” Peter said as he greeted me. “Welcome to my humble second home.”
“Morning, Peter. It looks nice, small but nice,” I replied.
“Never judge a book by its cover. I know she’s not pretty from the outside, but in here, this is where the magic happens,” Peter said as he took my coat. “Come on. I’ll give you the grand tour.”
“As you can see, this is the kitchen and dining area, small yet quaint and cozy,” he explained. “Restrooms to the left, and fire exit there.”
“Well, this end looks all above board, check,” I said with a giggle as I tried to act bubbly.
“We have six staff who are seated there as you can see from the six desks, and this is my office, situated right next to your area.”
“What are my duties exactly?” I asked.
“To some degree, they are exactly as you performed for Elijah, yet on a smaller scale obviously. There are one or two other things I’ll have you doing. Hopefully not too boring, but they’re important nevertheless,” Peter said.
“Ah, sure, I’m sure I can get my head around it pretty quickly,” I replied.
“Just one thing. I don’t want you thinking this is a position which has just been made up for you, it’s far from it. I did need somebody for this role because I’m getting swamped with new projects,” Peter explained.
“Thanks for that Peter and the opportunity is very much appreciated,” I replied with a smile. “I can’t help myself asking, but how is Elijah doing?”
“He’s…” he started to say. “Come into my office and close the door for a moment.”
We walked into the office, and he started to explain. “Well, I saw Elijah yesterday, and he’s, well let’s just say he’s struggling with himself at the moment. It has been a difficult time for him recently, so we just have to stick with him.”
“But he’s okay, right?” I asked, worried.
“What I do know is that Elijah may have just ended your relationship quickly, but he did it for a reason. He really does care for you and just doesn’t want to see you hurt,” he explained. “He didn’t want to drag anything out so it would become painful for you, so he just decided for your protection to finish it then and there.”
I listened to what Peter had to say, and I could feel myself sink into a pit of self-pity and concern for Elijah. He was indeed in a place where he would be all alone, and if he had any more flashbacks, he would have no one to turn to.
I had finally accepted the way Elijah had finished our relationship, and in a way, I could understand it, but this didn’t make me feel any better about the whole situation. I actually felt like shit the more I thought about it.
“I know it’s as hard for you as it’s for Elijah. I can see it on your face that it bothers you,” Peter said.
“I’m concerned and a little confused by the whole situation honestly. Even though I can understand how events have panned out, it’s also a shock how it happened,” I said.
“Well Kendall, if you need the day off, you can take the time and get yourself settled with all the emotions that are flooding about,” Peter said.
“If you don’t mind, another day just to get my head round it would be great, but I’ll be in tomorrow bright and early, I don’t want to find I have dwelled on anything longer than is needed,” I replied gratefully.