When I was at the club, I could seduce any man. I knew exactly what he wanted and I knew how to get him to want me so badly he would do anything for me. I was vibrant and seductive on stage. Then off stage, I was intimate and real with the guys. Many of them came back every single night I worked and waited for a chance at alone time with me. They liked to talk. It seemed weird, and yes, I took their money, but a lot of them just wanted to talk.
Then, there was the person I liked to be outside of work. I dressed conservatively, and I spent time at the local bookstore. I loved to cook and watch cooking shows on television. The people at my gym all knew me by name and thought I worked as an investment consultant. It still made me laugh to think of how the front desk girl had told a guy I was an investment consultant when he asked what I did. Of course, I never corrected him.
“I’m going to head to bed, catch you in the morning,” Jackson said as he went to his room.
“Would you mind if we left the door open? I would feel safer.”
I saw a bit of surprise cross Jackson’s face, but he just smiled. Underneath the brooding muscular surface, I suspected there was a really nice man there. It was probably buried really deep underneath, but I could tell he was a good guy.
“I can do that. Goodnight.”
“Night.”
After I had cleaned up a bit, I slid into bed and let myself finally relax. It was easy to relax with Jackson on the other side of the wall. He made me feel safe. It was nothing that I was going to tell him, of course. But just having him there with me made me feel like everything was going to be just fine. I really hoped we would find Ana safe and sound and that this job we had taken would turn out well for the both of us.
Sleep never came easily for me, but on that night, I hardly remember closing my eyes before I was totally in dreamland. Well, at least, my version of dreamland. I had a corrupt mind that often went back to horrible memories while I slept. It was something I had fought with throughout the years and had never really been able to get under control.
Having Bull around had helped me, though. I knew he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me while I slept, so I always fell asleep better with him around. But it was interesting to find out that my body had the same reaction to having Jackson around.
My dreams weren’t that of fairytales and happy endings. When I dreamed, it was more like nightmares filled with familiar people from my past. Some nights were better than others, but most ended with me in a fit of screams and my loyal Rottweiler calming me down.
I felt the man’s hands around my throat. It was hard to breathe and I wanted to scream for help. His grip got tighter and tighter and I reached to my own neck to try and pull his hands off of me. It was such a familiar moment. I had played it out in my nightmares over and over again. But on that particular night, I couldn’t seem to get his hands free from my neck.
“Roxanne! Roxanne!” I heard a man’s voice from outside of my dream.
“Help! Help me!” I screamed.
“I’m here. You’re all right,” Jackson soothed as I opened my eyes and looked up at him.
My own hands were wrapped around my throat tightly and Jackson gently pulled them off. He sat next to me and just waited there. I assumed he wanted some sort of reason for my nightmares. But I wasn’t ready to share that.
Nightmares were my norm, but having a hunky guy there to wake me up was very new. I made a point not to be too sarcastic as I tried to think of what I should do next. I actually really wanted Jackson to stay there with me until I fell asleep, but I feared he would think I was hitting on him or something.
“I’m okay. I’m okay,” I said quietly.
“Yes, you are. Okay, I’m going to head back to my bed,” Jackson said as he started to stand up from my bed.
“Stay. Please,” I said as I grabbed his hand and wouldn’t let go.
The touch of his large hand as it wrapped around mine was simply perfection. I felt safe with him. It didn’t matter what I dreamt about, with Jackson there I felt at ease and willing to try sleeping again.
There was a tug and pull going on in my mind, though. Jackson was seeing my exposed wall. The one I put up to keep everyone out from knowing the real me. But as he stood there and I held onto his hand, I felt like he could see right through me and was about to know my defensive wall right over.
I didn’t want to fuck him, not in that moment. I didn’t want anything from Jackson at all. The only reason I wanted him to stay in my bed was purely so I could get back to sleep again. I didn’t want to explain anything. I didn’t want to fight anymore. All I wanted was a truly good night of sleep.
Jackson didn’t answer me, but as I pulled the blankets back for him, he reluctantly climbed into bed with me. We didn’t make eye contact and he laid flat on his back as close to the edge of the bed as he could get. Something about his quietness made me think that he knew nightmares himself, that he knew them very well.
I turned the opposite direction of him and then closed my eyes. I truly just wanted to get a good night of sleep. I didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable and I certainly didn’t want to fuck him. Well, at least right in that moment, I didn’t want to fuck him. I had had many thoughts about what it would feel like to have his body thrusting inside of mine.
It felt good to have a man in my bed, though, even if he was just there to protect me from my dreams. I needed all the protecting I could get. My brain wasn’t the kind of place I could fight off very well, especially in the haze of sleep.
Chapter Five
JACKSON
Her hand was on my cock and I didn’t know what to do. She seemed like she was asleep, but how could a person be asleep and still moving their hand up and down the shaft of my cock? Obviously, my body reacted to her touch. There was nothing I could do to stop it. All right, I could have pulled her hand away, but it had been so long since my cock had been held by a woman as beautiful as Roxanne.
“Roxanne, are you awake?” I said to wake her up.