Then the silence filled the Jeep again. I had expected he would say something about his work, maybe tell me a little more about it, or when he was going to head out on another job. But Nate seemed utterly content to drive in silence. I couldn’t blame him for that either, though. I enjoyed the silence, even if it was a little awkward. Silence had been a healing factor in my time at the treatment facility, but it was different when I was alone in a vehicle with someone.
The silence seemed awkward to me, but maybe that was just because I had spent six months around people always telling me to talk. My silent time was in the evening when I had my room to myself and could sit and contemplate everything that had happened and how I could move forward from there. I didn’t mind sitting in silence; it was actually much better than talking. So, I just laid my head back into the seat and watched out the window as we made it through the Georgia hills.
We were about an hour into the drive when I realized Nate didn’t even have the music playing, and I loved it. The quiet was so much more calming than having music blaring, and I silently thanked him for keeping the radio off. I looked over and watched him as he drove. His bulging biceps extended as he held onto the steering wheel.
Nate was the type of guy who probably went to the gym every single day. But he had a beard at the moment, so he didn’t look like the typical gym rat and instead looked like some sort of military commando who had been in the woods for too long. His hair was cut short, but his beard had obviously been growing for at least a month.
His blond hair could have easily made him look like a surfer if he let it grow out. But from what I knew about Nate, he was more of a military and woods guy than he was a beach guy. I didn’t actually know all that much about Nate, though. Sure, I knew the basics about his family because of Jordan, but I didn’t know much about what he spent his time doing, except that he protected people.
“Is your beard new? I don’t remember you having one that night.”
Nate glanced at me briefly and then back to the road. I was staring at him as I tried to remember more from that night he rescued me. I felt the memories, but I just couldn’t get to them. Then tears suddenly started to stream down my face. I wasn’t crying out loud, but the tears just started to come as I looked at him. I couldn’t help it.
“I was just off a job then. I was clean shaven,” Nate said as he glanced at me again and then back on the road.
He wasn’t fazed by my tears and didn’t seem interested in comforting me or talking about them at all. That was perfect for me. I didn’t want to talk about the tears; I didn’t understand why they were even there. I wasn’t particularly sad at the moment, but something about Nate and the memories I had deep in my mind made my body sad. Maybe one day I’d remember everything about that time, but for the moment, I didn’t want to know.
“Do you have to go to work again soon?” I asked.
What I really wanted to know was if he’d be shaving that beard again. I wanted to see him without it, I wanted to see if it would trigger anything else. But I was willing to wait. There was no hurry to flood my mind with memories. Because I also remembered feeling very attracted to Nate when he had rescued me. It wasn’t something I shared with anyone except for my counselor because I thought it made me seem like a hussy or something. But I fantasized about Nate rescuing me, and the two of us going off into a back room to make love.
My fantasies about Nate weren’t as frequent as my nightmares about my time with Stephano, but I certainly had thoughts of him. My body reacted with lust at the memories of some of the dreams I had had about Nate and what he looked like naked and what his hands would feel like on my body. It was quiet a delicious fantasy, actually.
“Four weeks.”
“Ah, okay. Cool. I’ll try to stay out of you
r hair while I’m here. Thanks again for letting me stay.”
“Yep.”
And just like, that we were silent again for the rest of the drive to his place. The trees along the road were tall and evergreen. It seemed like we followed them for miles and miles before Nate finally turned off onto a side road and made his way through the forest.
His house was certainly secluded. I doubt he ever had people just stopping by; it was probably hard for people who knew where to find him. There hadn’t been any labels or street signs on the road. I was positive I wouldn’t be able to find my way back to that spot if I ever wandered off. In every direction I looked were huge, green trees, and in some spots you could hardly see through to the sky.
As we pulled up to his cabin, it was bigger than I had expected. In my mind, I had pictured a small, two-bedroom shack. But in reality, his cabin was very large, with at least 1,500 square feet and a wraparound porch. I could tell almost instantly that Nate had much more money than he let people know. His Jeep was almost brand new and his cabin was made with real logs instead of prefabricated knock offs. I liked him even more for not flaunting what he had.
His brother Chase certainly didn’t make a big fuss about the money he had, but he didn’t hide it like Nate did. Chase owned a beautiful home from what I saw in the photos Jordan had sent me. They had a pool and more room than any two people could use. Their remodeling alone was going to cost them more than most people made in ten years. But it was their money and their life. But I liked how Nate used his money. He didn’t flaunt it, but he used it for quality items; that would be my philosophy if I ever had money.
“I didn’t know what all you would have and what you would need. I bought a few things, but we can go to the store tomorrow if you’d like. Just let me know,” Nate said as he grabbed my bags from the back and walked into the house.
He left the front door open for me and I followed behind him. It was clear he wasn’t going to wait for me. But I didn’t really need him too. I’m sure if he had waited for me, I would have told him he shouldn’t. I was a little wishy washy and I knew it, so I tried to keep my comments to myself as much as possible.
The living room was beautifully furnished and the kitchen as well. Each item in the rooms seemed to be specially picked out to suit his style. They appeared to be high quality pieces of furniture and probably cost much more than it looked like they did. It was impressive that he even had a sense of style. Most men I knew back home only had apartments with essential furniture, never any style to them at all.
“Thanks again for letting me stay,” I said as I stood at the doorway to my room.
“No problem. That’s your private bathroom. I have one in my room that I use.”
Nate set my bags on the bed and barely looked at me as he turned to leave. As he crossed through the doorway, I reached out for his hand and touched it slightly as I nodded my head toward him.
I wasn’t really sure why I had reached out for him like that. It had just been one of those touchy feely kind of days for me. Hugging and touching people really wasn’t something I did on a regular basis, but it felt right for me at that moment.
“Thanks.”
He simply nodded back and continued toward the room at the end of the hall. I could still feel the touch of his skin. He was an interesting man, and sexy too; if I hadn’t had so much going on with myself at the moment, I certainly would have had some sort of sexual attraction to him outside of my fantasies. But my mind and body were too wrapped up in the crazy healing that was going on inside of me. I couldn’t imagine ever feeling the kind of attraction toward a man like I once had, not in real life. Maybe I never would feel that again. I didn’t know, and I didn’t care. For the time being, I had to just concentrate on getting myself as close to normal again as I could.
Being at Nate’s house was going to give me the opportunity to really take time for myself and practice everything I learned throughout my time at the treatment facility. Instead of having staff around to remind me of the skills I needed to practice, I was going to have to do it all by myself, but I was ready for it. It might be a bumpy few days, but I was determined to work forward and find my happiness in the life I was given. I just hoped I would be able to do all that moving forward as quickly as possible; it was tiring feeling so helpless all the time.