"Alex," she said as she weakly squeezed my fingers. "Help me."
"I'm here, Liz," I said smoothing her hair as I held her hand. "We'll figure this out, and you'll be okay."
Liz smiled as she drifted back to sleep.
#
Leslie came back into the exam area a little while later and said they were moving Liz up to a bed in the psychiatric unit.
"She's not crazy!" I protested. "She's sick!"
"Look, I know it seems tough, but she's presenting with all the signs of someone with a drug addiction," Leslie said patting my arm. "We'll get the results from her blood work and move her up there until she comes around. Then we'll get her started in the recovery program."
"It's not right," I said shaking my head. "She's not doing drugs!"
"Alex, I know it's hard to accept that someone you love might have a substance abuse problem, but you need to let go and let her get help," Leslie said quietly. "We'll take excellent care of her and you'll be able to come see her as soon as we get her back among the coherent."
I realized I had little choice in the matter, so I signed Liz into the ward and told them to tell her I'd be back in the morning. Cam wrapped an arm around me as we walked out of the ER, and I leaned into him as I tried not to break into tears.
"She's not an addict," I said once we were in the truck again. "I know she's not."
"Then let them figure it all out and get her the help she needs," Cam said diplomatically. "Are you hungry? I've got dinner ready at home, if you are."
I nodded as I fought back the tears as Cam simply reached over and took my hand. We drove in silence back to his place.
The house was a beautiful, little two- story on the West Side of town. Cam explained that it was nestled in a neighborhood that had seen better days, but was now slowly rebuilding itself. He told me about how he'd spent hours working on the outer trim and making sure all of the elements from the roofing to the paint job were absolutely perfect.
"You've been lonely, haven't you?" I said quietly as he described the summer he spent sanding all of the gutters so he could paint them the perfect shade of cream to match the house. He didn't say anything, but I saw his jaw tighten.
At the house, he pulled into the garage and I could hear barking on the other side of the door. He smiled as he opened the door and a blur of yellow fur came tumbling out wagging her tail and woofing a welcome.
"Alex, this is Tesla. Tesla, this is Alex," Cam said introducing us to one another.
"Hello, Tesla, it's nice to meet you," I said squatting down so we were eye level and offering my hand to her. She looked up at Cam who nodded and then walked cautiously around me sniffing and bumping me with her nose. I waited patiently without moving until she'd made her assessment and laughed loudly as she leaned in and licked my face.
"I think she approves of you," Cam laughed as he ruffled her fur and said to her, "C'mon, you want to go out, girl?"
Tesla ran for the back door and waited with her tail wagging. Cam turned on the backlight and let her out into the yard. I caught of glimpse of the perfectly manicured lawn and garden and wondered how long it had taken him to create that.
"Yeah, I've been lonely," he said without explaining further. "Dinner?"
We sat down to a delicious dinner of pot roast with winter vegetables and a fresh salad. The table was a dark walnut that had been shined to the point that I could have used it as a mirror. It was surrounded by six, beautiful leather chairs in a shade of rust that came close to matching Cam's wild, wavy curls. I pointed this out and he laughed at the coincidence.
"Did you make this?" I asked stroking the table as I imagined his strong hands working the wood.
"No, I found it in a second-hand shop and had it polished," he said as he poured wine into the glass in front of me. He toasted and then sat quietly for a moment before he said, "Quinn never saw the finished house."
"Thank you for sharing your accomplishment with me," I smiled as I tucked my fantasies away in a far corner of my brain. Cam wasn't ready to go there with me, so I said, "And thank you for helping me and Liz."
"It's the least I can do," he said as he dug into the meal.
As I watched him eat, it struck me that there was something on his mind, but I knew that he wasn't going to talk about it until he was ready, so I steered the conversation in a comfortable direction, giving him space to figure it out. A couple of times I saw him take a deep breath as if he were going to say something, but then he would back off and offer me seconds or more wine. I knew the weight of whatever he was carrying was getting heavier by the minute, but I couldn't make him do anything he wasn't ready to do.
"Alex, I have to share something with you," he said as we curled up on the living room couch drinking coffee and eating a decadent chocolate dessert that he'd picked up from a French bakery near the station.
"Mmm hmm," I said as I took a bite of the cake and licked frosting off of the fork.
"Six months after Quinn died, I learned that I was the beneficiary of her life insurance policy," he began. "I didn't want the money because there was no amount of money that was going to ease the pain of losing her, but I got the check anyway. So, I decided to do something productive with it, and I invested it in a business, and now..."