“Well, perhaps you should get some rest soon so you’re ready for a long day of prepping, don’t ya think?” I raised an eyebrow at him.
His smile turned mischievous. “Hmm, you and Owen make good tour moms. Trying to keep us acting responsibly, huh? Just wait till after the
show tomorrow night. If you think playing video games is crazy, you ain’t seen nothing yet.”
“I know, I know. You told me those stories earlier.” I shook my head. “I’m about as prepared as I can be. Just, please, try and get some rest,” I encouraged him then got up and went over to Jay.
“How are you doing?” I asked. I wanted to make it a point to make sure each of the guys was in the right mindset and doing okay while on the tour and Jay, in particular, wasn’t much of a talker aside from when he was hanging out with Talon. Owen had told me they were best friends and that Jay was the one that had come to him when Talon wasn’t doing so well and suggested getting the band back together to help his brother get clean again.
Jay flashed me a shy smile, only glancing away from the game. “I’m doing all right. Excited about tonight, but not enough to sleep yet,” he winked, having overheard my little lecture to Talon. “Tell Owen not to worry, though; we’ll probably crash soon,” he said.
I smiled and patted his shoulder before getting up. “Stay out of trouble, you two. And use the rocket launcher to get rid of that chopper, if you have one.” Both of them looked back at me, then grinned. Yeah, I might have played GTA with my brother enough times to know a thing or two. I winked at them as I closed the curtain behind me.
Owen was lounging on a sofa when I arrived at the front of the bus. He was staring out the window, his forehead wrinkled in deep thought. Quietly, I slid down next to him, holding out a bag of chips. He waved off the chips, putting them aside, but then he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. I smiled, relaxing against him, not caring if the other two caught us cuddled together at the moment or not. I was too tired to keep the charade up. And, regardless, it seemed that those two were so absorbed in Grand Theft Auto that they wouldn't be leaving the sofa any time soon. I didn't think I had much to worry about at this particular moment.
“What’s on your mind?” I asked, gently prying. After all, just like with the others, it was part of my job to make sure he was doing okay, too.
“I just feel bad about earlier. You know, for snapping at Talon like I did. Shit, I really had no reason to do it, but I just... I just blew up and acted like an asshole, didn't I?”
“He’s still up, you know. You could just go apologize to him,” I suggested.
Owen shook his head. “I rather talk to him alone, not while he’s with Jay. He wouldn’t appreciate that. I’ll catch him tomorrow and have a little heart to heart with him before we meet with the sound and light crew.”
“Good,” I nodded. He pulled me a little tighter against him, still staring off. There was a lot more going on behind those blue eyes, I was positive of that.
“I was really hard on him. It’s not completely his fault with what happened before with the drugs. The band and I are really all he has. Without the band, and with me always being busy with the record company and not there for him, all he had was the drugs. So in a way, with me not making time for him, I kind of caused it. I was so focused on my own damn shit that I couldn't even see my little brother's life spiraling out of control.”
“You can’t say that,” I said as I tried to comfort him, but he shook his head.
“He’s always looked up to me, ever since we were kids. It drove my parents nuts. I always wanted to be a musician, but they were completely against it. Even more so when Talon decided to follow in my footsteps, and I got him a drum set. Because of that, we grew apart from our parents. I moved out, and Talon followed right after me that night,” he sighed, and for a moment I could swear his eyes grew a little misty.
“They were killed in a car wreck by a drunk driver the next day. So, like I said, I’m a big reason that Talon only has me. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in work, I forget that. The thing with our parents, the struggles with almost losing Talon to drugs, that’s a lot of where our songs come from. It’s the only way I know to get it all out, you know?”
He finally looked at me, and I could see the emotion brimming just beneath the surface. I nodded, knowing exactly where he was coming from. Mine and Jackson’s childhood had been no better, but I didn’t need to get into that with Owen. Not at that moment, anyway.
I gave him a gentle kiss on his cheek, feeling some comfort as a sweet smile spread across his face. At that moment, all I wanted was to give him comfort and make him feel better, do what I could to ease some of his pain.
He squeezed me to him and kissed the top of my head. “I really like you, Nalia. You can’t know how much I mean that. I wish I had something to offer you, but I really don’t. I’ve got so many issues to deal with right now and with us being on tour, I know any sort of relationship is a bad idea. The groupies at each stop are going to be unruly. For that reason alone, I know dating is a bad idea.”
As much as the idea of girls throwing themselves at Owen did cause a little jealousy to stir up in me, I did understand. He didn’t want to start something with me during all of this. I got it. It was the rock star life, and one of the hazards of the job was relationships. It didn’t take a genius to see that. If anything, I appreciated him being honest and trying to put some distance between us.
As much as I enjoyed the sex between us, and even the cuddling and kisses at the moment, I knew he wasn’t promising me anything. If something happened on the road, I couldn’t be mad because he’d never given me any sort of indication we could be anything more than people who simply had a bit of no-strings-attached fun. Just like I’d never given him that idea, either.
“I get it,” I said. “I’m not holding you to anything. That has never been my intention, and it certainly isn't why I signed on for this job. I don’t have that to offer you, either, you know. Besides, from what Talon was telling me, things are going to get crazy on the road, and I’m not going to try and convince myself of anything otherwise. I’m here to do my job, first and foremost, regardless of what we are or aren’t.”
I leaned into him, kissing his neck, and he let out a soft breath, combing his fingers through my hair. Still, if we could offer each other some comfort, I didn’t mind that, either. I understood how he could be lonely, even with groupies surrounding him and throwing themselves at him, and how it was hard to find someone else who truly understood that. Owen and I did understand loneliness; I knew that much. If nothing else, that was all we could offer each other right now, and I was okay with that.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Owen
Light flickering through the window woke me the next morning, and I could see we were just getting into Seattle. I rubbed my eyes and looked down at the comforting weight lying against me and smiled. Nalia and I had fallen asleep talking and cuddling.
I never thought falling asleep on the bus could feel so refreshing, but I felt like I’d had a full night’s sleep lying there with her in my arms. Usually, I didn't sleep well on buses, even luxury tour buses like this one, but with her there, I'd somehow managed to get a great night's sleep in. I think I may have even had a few good dreams.
Gently, trying not to wake her, I brushed her hair back out of her face, studying her features as she slept. She was as stunning asleep as she was awake, her soft, even breaths reassuring and peaceful. And for a few quiet, sacred moments, I simply lay there next to her, admiring her, feeling at peace in her presence and basking in the warmth that flowed between us.
I found myself wondering how things would be if the situation were different and realized that I definitely wouldn’t mind waking up to this every day. Hell, I probably wouldn’t even get out of bed if I woke up with her in my arms every day.