"Montana," she said. "The rest of my family still live there."
"What brought you to Salt Lake?" I asked. Apparently, this had been the second stop for her after graduating from college in Portland. She had moved for work and had lived in Salt Lake for a while before moving to Provo in the last couple years.
"Why'd you move to Provo from Salt Lake?" I asked. I knew for me the quieter vibe of the smaller city was what I had needed, but she had worked in Salt Lake, even before coming to Porter Holdings. What about her? How much did we have in common? Now I was curious.
"It's stupid," she said.
"Why? What was it?" I asked. We had both finished eating and were just talking now. The crackling from the fireplace was the only other sound in the room. She sighed and looked down at her hands before looking back up at me.
"My boyfriend at the time lived in Provo, and he wanted us to move in together."
"He wanted it? Not you?"
"It had meant a longer commute to work, but in the end, I did it. Three months later, he took a job offer in Austin, Texas."
"You broke up."
"We tried to keep it up long distance for a while, but it didn't work out," she said with a shrug.
"And you're stuck in the house." She shrugged again. There. Right there was reason number one on the list of why you should never move in with a significant other. I couldn't blame her for taking the chance, especially if she and that guy had been serious, but I could be glad that she was single. I was in fact. The later it got, the more obvious it got that it was just us, and she wasn't leaving. It was going to be just us for the next few days at least.
It would be so easy, I thought. She would be right there, all I'd have to do was... No. Bad idea. An attractive woman was about to spend the next few days at my house with neither of us able to leave. What if I did say something; do something? On one hand, if it worked out, we were looking at nonstop sex ‘til the snow stopped. On the other, if it didn’t, painfully awkward interactions ‘til one of us was able to escape. Did she feel it too? The only way to find out would have been shooting my shot, but if it wasn't on target, living together these next few days would be unbearable.
"What time is it?" she asked, changing the subject. She didn't really want to talk about her ex. Good, I didn't really want to hear about him. I knew all I needed to know anyway, which was he was out of the picture. I checked.
"Close to nine. Not that late," I said, standing. I asked her to hand me her plate, but she stood, taking it to the kitchen herself. She insisted she could do the dishes since I had cooked. While she did that, I opened the front door and looked outside to survey the damage. The snow was coming down hard, piling pretty high already on both our cars. The woodpile I had up on the porch was protected under a tarp, thank god, and since the porch was covered, not much snow was getting blown onto it.
"Is it bad?" Natalie asked from behind me. I moved and let her look outside. She came back in, and I locked the door.
"Doesn't look like it's about to let up anytime soon." She sighed, rubbing her hands over her arms like she was cold. She looked at me, and our eyes met. Some nights, the cabin had felt like it was too big. Too much space for me to fill on my own, but right then, it was suffocating. I could almost hear my own heart pounding, hear the snow hitting the ceiling and wood split in the fire. I could almost feel the heat from her body. All I could see was her. All I could think about was kissing her, running my fingers through her silky, golden hair. She looked away first, clearing her throat.
"You must be tired," I said hoarsely. "You can have the bed. I can set up down here on the couch."
"No, you can't do that. This is your house. I showed up unannounced."
"It's nothing," I said hastily, trying not to think of her in my bed or of me in that bed with her. "It's not like I gave you the option to call before you came. And I didn't listen to you when you told me to stock up. Besides," I said, "the couch is closer to the fire." She smiled weakly.
"Are you sure?" she asked. I told her that I was. I needed her to say yes. She'd be out the door if she knew some of the things I had thought about doing to her. I didn't know about her, but I wanted to make it out of the next few days alive. This situation was high stress for both of us, more for her since she hadn’t even asked to be up here. She was now, though, and what the hell kind of host would I be if I took this opportunity to make a move on her? She had driven hours to get to me up here; a little restraint wouldn't kill me. It would probably make the next few days go by a lot smoother.
I gave her a towel and let her use the shower first. I kept myself busy setting up the couch for the night, trying not to think about her being naked behind the door of the bathroom. She had actually brought some extra blankets with her, which had been pretty good thinking. Getting my head out of the gutter for a second, I was glad she was here. There weren't many people I would feel that way about. After my parents, it had been Brett. Natalie and I hadn't known each other long, but the snow would clear, and she would be leaving soon, and I could say pretty confidently that I wasn't looking forward to that happening. I was glad she was here.
What was the reason she had even asked to talk to me in the first place? Right, to talk work. She had been here twice now, and she hadn’t brought it up once. Unlike everyone who just wanted me to put my head down and accept what had been planned for me, she wasn’t pushing it. I had told her to give me time, and she actually was. If she wanted to, she could have talked my ear off about why I had to go back, but she hadn’t. Maybe it was too soon to say she wasn’t like the others, but I still appreciated it. It made me even sorrier we hadn’t talked earlier. She had to know from all that time she seemed to spend with Brett what a big deal my taking over Porter Holdings was supposed to be, but she wasn’t pushing it. She was one of the good ones. There were still some out there.
Chapter Sixteen
Natalie
The bed smelled like him. It was big, had to be a king. It took up most of the space up in the loft. It was layered against the cold and was deliciously warm. I had laid there, staring up at the vaulted ceiling for sleep to come, trying not to think about Cameron down on the couch.
It was a big bed. He
was taller than me anyway; him taking the bed would have just made sense practically. The couch was big, but he was too. He would have been a lot more comfortable on the bed. We could have shared it comfortably. I rolled onto my side, blinking as my eyes adjusted to the dark. I imagined his big, solid body inches away from mine. Having him close would have been nice, warm. I closed my eyes, trying again. I couldn't hear anything but the fire, but my body was alert, too wired for me to sleep. I wanted to catch any sound of him. Getting up to go to the bathroom or tossing and turning because he couldn’t get comfortable on the couch's limited space.
I turned again to my other side. I was tired, but my mind raced. It was almost too quiet out here. The stillness made me want to stand and pace. My racing thoughts made up for the silence. There had been dozens of nights when I had fallen asleep under the stars and watched the sunrise over a horizon undisturbed by man-made buildings. I had gotten so used to hearing vehicles at night, sirens, and conversation that the silence kept me awake.
This was what Cameron had wanted. The solitude: what he had literally fled from his life to have. I was past examining his reasons; there was no use anymore. He was here, and he was staying here until he felt like going back or didn't feel like going back. Could he do it? Day after day so cut off from his old life? I didn't know. Maybe I'd ask him. I fell asleep finally, hearing Cameron get up and adjust the fire.
He couldn't sleep either. The couch was too small, and he was unsettled after my arrival. The woman in his bed who had shown up unannounced conveniently as a snowstorm serious enough to snow them in had struck. Her plan exactly. She would never admit it, but it made sense. Why had she started paying so much attention to him lately? It was obvious what she wanted. She must have been up there in his bed, needy, touching herself because he wasn't.