“I know everything he did for you was sincere. He must have felt the same love, but his fear consumed him. The fear of losing someone so important to him and Vince. He was holding back because he was frightened to experience the same thing that happened in his previous relationship.” She looked at me, her smile still consistently drawn on her face.
I studied her, waiting for the man-bashing part. I found nothing sarcastic about her words. She was telling the truth. She believed Hunter was a good guy and just fell apart in the face of fear. It was understandable, but it didn’t change anything.
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He didn’t want me in his life, and I was too tired and hurt to fight for a different outcome.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Hunter
It was finally the end of the week, and it had been a long one. Trying to explain to Vince for the last few days why Kylie wasn’t in our lives and trying my hardest not to lie about it had me weary as fuck.
I knocked on Vince’s door since he had not come out of his room yet. He was a vibrant morning person who woke up by himself without anyone shaking him to get up. Lately, he seemed to change. The old, cheerful son I usually had was now a gloomy, aloof kid who lost his appetite for food and interaction with others.
After a series of knocks, he was unresponsive. I decided to turn the knob and enter his room carefully. He was still lying in bed, his back facing me. His body was covered up with his blanket.
“Buddy, are you awake?” I stepped closer to him, sitting on the side of his bed to wake him up. I shook his shoulder lightly to wake him from his sleep. “Come on, Vince. Wake up and eat your breakfast.” I could feel his shoulder was fighting me as I turned him to face me. I peeked over his face and found tears all over his face, his nose already red from crying. “Hey, buddy. Come on, why are you crying? Superheroes don’t cry.”
“I had a really bad dream, Daddy.”
I looked at him as he finally faced me. His eyes were still puffy and red from excessive crying, but he managed to stop sobbing. I had wiped his runny nose before he continued his story.
“Oh, yeah? Well, tell me about it then.”
“I dreamed of Kylie, you, and me going into the forest to hunt those bad hogs that rooted up our yard. At first, we were all happy and laughing. I was enjoying everything I saw in the forest. There were beautiful flowers, tall trees, even a mother and baby squirrel watching us from a low branch. I loved the trip we had. It was awesome.” His eyes grew big, amused by the things he saw from his dream. “And then I spotted a hog hiding behind a thick tree trunk, watching over us with crazy eyes. When I pointed it to you, Kylie was preparing to shoot the hog. But something different happened.”
His eyes became dead, his face filled with fright.
“What happened, buddy?” I rubbed his hair and tried to use a calming tone with him. He was pretty shaken.
“The hog transformed into a monster. He began to run toward Kylie, jumping on her and squishing her under its big body. She was screaming and crying for help, but you dragged me away from her. I could still hear her shouting, begging for us to help her. But you dragged me away from her, Daddy. We left her to die with the hog.”
I pulled him into my arms as my heart shattered farther. I missed Kylie so fucking much, I was having trouble eating and sleeping too, but seeing Vince hurt over it was too much. “I’ll not leave her alone, buddy. Kylie’s not going anywhere.”
“She’s already gone. We haven’t seen her in forever. And I don’t want her to get hurt, Daddy.” His eyes were pleading with me, hoping that I would protect Kylie no matter what.
“She’s just busy, Vince, but just know that I won’t let anything happen to her ever, okay?” I hugged him tight which seemed to calm him down. I got lost in my thoughts, wondering what my beautiful girl was up to.
Vince broke my day dreaming as he moved out of my arms. He moved to his window, looking out toward her house, and I studied his disposition. He looked like a gloomy kid who had given up on something he once hoped for. I had to fix things, at least where he was concerned.
“What if we visit the lake and go fishing today?”
“Yes! Wait, is Kylie coming with us?” He turned and asked in a small voice, hoping that the answer would finally be a yes.
I bit my lower lip before answering him. “I’m sorry, buddy. But Kylie is still busy working on some things for the convenience store.”
“Why don’t we go to the store instead? I bet Nana and Kylie are dying to see me again.” His eyes begged for my compliance.
“Sorry, buddy. They are busy and hoped to do things on their own. We can’t disturb them.” I got up and walked over, ruffling his hair a little. “So, no on the fishing, cause I’d really love some sunshine and time with my favorite superhero on the planet?”
“Okay to the fishing.” He nodded and walked to his dresser; his shoulders rolled, his little head down a little. Fuck me for messing things up with Kylie.
*
“I love this place!” Vince ran off to the dock right after I parked the car, his mood picking up fast now that we were at the lake. He was all gleeful and vibrant, his old self finally returning. I hoped I could keep his mood uplifted. His smile was just the best thing I could live for in the middle of my darkness.
I got out of the car and carried our fishing equipment and picnic basket, walking behind him languidly.