“Hey, I’m innocent here. I just wanted to go for a swim.”
“All right, let’s get this over with,” she teased as she motioned for me to follow her. “The torture of my job is real.”
“You did have a woman almost die in your arms the other day. I think you deserve a fun day of swimming to make up for it. How long do we have?”
“As long as we want, I guess. Nothing really going on until the night shift arrives at dinner time.”
“Oh, as long as we want,” I said and winked at her.
I couldn’t help it. When she was near me, my body was in sexual overdrive and all I could think about was her body. I seriously didn’t want to flirt with her like I was, but I couldn’t stop myself. I wanted to leave her alone and let her do her job, but she had my whole body feeling energized and I reverted back to my old flirting ways…at least a little bit back to those ways.
“No funny business, mister.”
“I’ll be super serious then.” I laughed.
The truth was I was going to swim in the pool and
enjoy the water. No matter what crazy urges I had, I couldn’t follow them. If she was in the shallow end, I’d go to the deep end. If Cassidy got into the hot tub, I’d get out of the hot tub. Distance was my friend. I planned to keep as much of it between the two of us as possible.
“So, you still didn’t decide to go home for the holiday?” she asked jokingly.
“I was thinking of calling my friend Spencer, but it’s too late now. I think I was just afraid I’d mess up while I was outside of this place. It’s weird, I’m starting to feel very comfortable here.”
“It’s normal. Treatment is like a second home. You know there’s no drugs or alcohol, so it’s easy to stay sober. Trust me, though, it’s hard as hell to stay sober outside of here. I went dancing with Kaitlin last night and almost cried I wanted to drink so badly.”
“Shit, that is so discouraging.”
“I don’t say it to scare you. It’s just the truth. And try dancing while you’re sober.” Her eyes got big and dramatic. “I’m the worst dancer I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t believe I had actually danced in front of people while drunk before.”
“What are you doing for Christmas?” I ventured to ask as I slid into the pool and walked away from her.
“Just home with my mom and dad. It will be pretty quiet. Christmas movies, hot cocoa, one present opened tonight and the rest tomorrow. My parents still go a little overboard with the presents. Sometimes I think they forget I’m an adult now.”
It sounded perfect. I could picture her and her parents sitting around a warm fire, drinking their chocolaty drink and watching movies. I hadn’t had a good Christmas since my mother was alive.
My heart sank at the idea that I would never get that sort of Christmas again. Someday, I hoped to have my own family and my own Christmas traditions, but until that time came, I would just have to deal with the loneliness of the season.
“Sounds like postcard perfection.”
“Do you want to come?” she asked as she walked across the pool toward me.
“What?” I asked, actually wondering if I had heard her right.
Did Cassidy just ask me to go to her family’s house for Christmas? I couldn’t have heard that correctly. Or maybe she was joking. I wanted to go. It sounded like the perfect way to spend Christmas, but I didn’t want to intrude on her family time. I didn’t want to be that awkward stray guy who she brought home who made her family get angry with her.
“I asked if you wanted to come? I’ve brought random people home with me before. I’m a sucker for someone who doesn’t have a place to stay on Christmas. It’s one of my favorite times. I’ll just tell them you’re a sober friend from my AA meeting and you didn’t have a place to go. It will be fine.”
I was actually considering her offer. More than just considering it, I wanted to say yes. And strangely enough, it wasn’t because I wanted to sleep with her. Throughout my time at treatment, I had really started to miss my own mother. I missed the happiness she brought into my life and I longed to find that again somehow.
The way Cassidy had described her Christmas drew me in, and before I knew it, I had replied.
“Yes, I’ll go with you.”
Even Cassidy seemed a little shocked that I had replied yes to her. She had probably just made the offer as a gesture of kindness and hadn’t really expected that I would be game for it.
“I’ll email Mr. March and let him know you found someone to hang out with and won’t be here.”
“He’s going to be okay with me going home with you?” I asked a little surprised.