Missy turned to me with a serious sort of curiousness. “Tell me honestly,” she said. “Do you really feel as though you haven’t missed out on anything?”
The question made me feel sad, and I realized instantly that I wasn’t as content as I thought I was. I had hidden behind denial because it was easier to settle for my safe little corner of the world rather than jumping into Missy’s.
“Nat?”
I looked up to find my friend staring at me. Her face was patient and kind, and I realized that I could tell Missy anything and she would be more than willing to help me. That was why this unlikely friendship had worked so well. We were different, polar opposites in fact, but what had bonded us from the start was the fact that we were always willing to look out for one another.
“I know I’ve missed out on a lot,” I admitted. “And sometimes it does bother me. But… It’s just…easier…”
“What is?”
“Sitting here in this room,” I tried to explain. “Rather than putting myself out there.”
“You wouldn’t be alone,” Missy pointed out. “I’d be with you.”
“Babysitting the loser, while you miss out on a good time yourself.”
“You’re not a loser,” she said instantly, and I loved her for the vehemence with which she said it.
“You pointed it out yourself,” I reminded her. “I haven’t even kissed a guy yet.”
“That doesn’t make you a loser,” she said immediately. “That just makes you different.”
“Since when has being different ever been a good thing?”
She smiled and came to sit on my bed beside me. “It’s a good thing to me,” she said. “It’s the reason I liked you in the first place.”
“What do you mean?”
“Every other girl in that lecture hall looked like some version of what they thought men liked. You were the only one who wasn’t looking around hoping that someone would notice you. It was obvious you didn’t give a damn what anyone thought about you. That was the reason I chose to sit next to you that day.”
I smiled. “You’ve never told me that story before.”
“I never had a reason to before now,” Missy replied. “You’ve worked harder to
get here than any other student on campus, and I understand why you’ve had blinders on this entire time. But I think it’s time to concentrate on more than just the degree you came here to get. Life is not just about a piece of paper.”
I smiled. “You’re quite the philosopher you know?”
She smiled. “Does that mean you’ll hand over all planning for your twenty-first over to me?”
I took a deep breath. “I don’t know…”
“Aw, come on, Nat,” Missy said impatiently. “It’s not going to be excessively wild.”
“But it is going to be partially wild?” I asked, my eyes going wide.
She laughed and shook her head at me. “Will it help if I told you what I have in mind?”
I nodded emphatically. “It would.”
“I was thinking of a bar crawl—”
“A bar—”
“Just a little one,” she said quickly, cutting me off. “I’ll be with you the whole time. It’ll be a great opportunity for you to get out there and meet some new people.”
“Urgh,” I groaned. “I’m not good with people.”