“He means it,” Ben said. He nudged Noah toward his SUV. “All right, champ, why don’t you hop in. You can ride shotgun; Kev will sit in the back.” Ben turned to me. “You want me to walk you inside?”
“No, I’m fine,” I said. “Thank you though. I . . . I’m not sure what I would’ve done if I got home and he’d been in my apartment.”
Ben smiled. “Just doing our job. Have a good night.”
I stood there on the sidewalk and didn’t go in until the SUV disappeared around the block. It felt as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders; I was pretty sure that I would never see Noah again. I went inside, tossing my purse on the table as I went over to sit on the couch.
It dawned on me then that Ian hadn’t told Ben and Kevin to stop watching out for me. So even though he was telling me that it was over between us and we couldn’t see each other anymore, he’d left them out there. Didn’t that mean he did in fact still have feelings for me? Or was that just wishful thinking?
I wanted to call him. But I didn’t. I wouldn’t let myself do that.
Chapter Thirty-One
Ian
Lynn was all business-like, all two hundred pounds of her in a form-fitting maroon-colored knee-length skirt and matching jacket, which was way too hot for this sort of weather, even with the air conditioning on. Midway through the day, she removed the jacket, revealing pasty white arms, the flesh jiggling tremulously whenever she moved to answer the phone or reach for a pen.
I missed Daisy.
But the fastest way to get over that, I knew, was to not think about her, and find somewhere else to put my dick, pronto. Except I didn’t think I could get it hard even if I wanted to, and though it was strange for me to not want, I just didn’t. It wasn’t a matter of waiting until the right thing came along to turn me on; it was like when Daisy left, she took my libido with her.
At least I knew that Noah wasn’t going to be giving her a hard time anymore. Ben and Kevin had seen to that.
I was just sitting there, staring off into space, jerked out of my reverie by Lynn, clearing her throat from the doorway.
“Earth to Ian,” she said.
“Huh?”
“Call for you,” she said. “Line two.”
I picked it up. “This is Ian,” I said.
“Ian.” It was Annie. I felt my balls shrink even more. “Ian, why haven’t you been answering your phone? Why is it the only time I can get in touch with you is when I call through to your office?”
“I didn’t realize you’d been calling,” I said, patting my pockets, not feeling my phone. “I don’t even know where my phone is.”
“That’s kind of irresponsible of you, don’t you think?”
I sighed. “What do you want, Annie?”
“I wanted to tell you that I’m going to be going in for some testing next week. One of the tests is a blood test that checks for genetic disorders.”
“Okay,” I said.
“It can also tell you what the sex of the baby is, even though it’s still pretty early. You don’t have to wait until the twenty-week ultrasound anymore if you don’t to.”
“Okay,” I said again. She might as well have been speaking another language.
“Did you . . . did you want to know? If the baby’s going to be a boy or a girl?”
Didn’t we already talk about this? I squeezed my eyes shut and pinched the bridge of my nose. When I re-opened my eyes, I could see Lynn at Daisy’s old desk, writing something on a steno pad, underarm fat wobbling. And then, as though she could feel my eyes on her, she lifted her head and looked right at me. I swiveled in my chair so she couldn’t see my face, Annie still barking away in my ear.
“I don’t think I want to,” I said.
“You don’t?”
“No. There are so few surprises left in the world.”