“Man, Ryan, you have got to stop saying that. For one thing, it never should have happened while I was still wearing the collar.”
“Wait…what? While you were ‘still’ wearing it? What do you mean by that?”
Damn, I didn’t mean to bring this up until I decided for sure what to do. I was stuck now. I knew Ryan and he won’t just let anything go. “Yeah, I’m thinking about leaving the church.”
“For what? A good fuck?”
“Ryan! Knock it off.”
“Sorry…Father. Jace, listen to me, and let me finish before you chastise my language, okay? Some things just need to be said straight up. Man, the first time I got me a taste of pussy, I knew what it must feel like to do drugs. I would do anything to get it again, and again and again. But dude, after a while…as much as I still love me some pussy…I figured out it’s not worth giving things up that are that important to you.
“You’ve been the best one of us your whole life. Grandma saw it and that’s why you’re the one she pushed towards the church and not me or Max. Look, I’m as Catholic as the next guy…” I laughed, I couldn’t help it. “What? I go to church…almost every Sunday.”
“Okay, forgive me. I somehow thought that living the life of a good Catholic, the rest of the week mattered.”
“Look who’s talking.”
“I know this, Ryan. This is why I need to leave. I don’t want to live a double life, but I do want to live a life with Daphne. She’s what’s been missing all along. She’s what I’ve been looking for. I love her.”
“Whoa, the L word. Wow! So, you’ve decided this for sure?”
“No, not for sure. I know that it’s what I want; I’m just still trying to figure out if it’s the right thing. I’m hoping God will send me some kind of sign.”
Ryan busted up laughing. I waited until he was finished and then I said, “It’s so good to have your support.”
“Hey, I’m an asshole and we both know it. But, I always have your back, no matter what you decide, okay? Just make sure you’re doing what’s best for you in the long run.”
“Thanks, man. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Chapter Forty-One
Daphne
I was gathering up my laundry to take it down to the laundry room when there was a knock on my door. I felt a tickle in my belly. I was hoping it was Jace since he knew I had the day off. I pulled it open with a big smile and found Bethany standing there. “Oh…hey!”
She raised an eyebrow. “Who were you expecting?”
“No one, come on in.” She walked in and looked around like she was looking for someone. “I really wasn’t expecting anyone. You want some coffee?”
“I’d love some.” While I got the Keurig ready, she said, “What was the big, cheesy smile about when you opened the door?”
“I’m just happy. What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing wrong with it,” she said. “It’s just unusual.”
I laughed. “Really? Am I usually that miserable?” I pulled out one cup and handed it to her and fixed the next cup for me. She poured sugar and cream into her drink and stirred it while she stared at me. “What?”
“Why would you see someone and not want to tell me?”
Giggling nervously, I said, “What are you talking about?”
She sighed. “I came by last night. I was parking, and I looked up and saw you letting a man in here. Then today, you act like you’re expecting someone and you’re really happy about it. I thought we were friends. Why are you holding out on me?”
“Jesus, Beth! We are friends, best friends. Look at all you did for me, getting me this job and helping me find this apartment. I love you.”
She carried her cup over to the table and sat down. I finished fixing my coffee and went and sat down with her. “Then why don’t you want to talk to me?” she asked with a pout.