We lay in bed together for half the morning before Brian said he was hungry and that we needed to get something to eat. I agreed, and got up to go shower and get ready. We decided to go down to the restaurant for a change, so I took my time getting ready. I smiled at myself in the mirror as I stroked a coat of mascara on my lashes and then dusted peach blush on the apples of my cheeks to give me a little color. We’d been inside so long that I felt like I hadn’t seen the sun in ages.
I pulled on a jean mini skirt and a loose-fitting T-shirt before I slipped my feet into a pair of thin black thongs. I looked at the rumpled bed and smiled to myself when I remembered the way Brian had held me against his chest and moved inside me. There was no denying that we had something special, and there was no way I was going to give it up after this was all said and done. I wanted him in my life, and I was going to find a way to make that happen, no matter what I had to do. I could switch schools if I had to, I didn’t want to, but I had decided I would if it meant that Brian and I could be together.
I grabbed my purse and skipped out into the living room to find Brian standing in the middle of the room, holding my open laptop in one hand and running his other hand over his crew cut with an anguished look on his face. I gave him a confused look before I realized what he was looking at — the letter! He’d found the email I’d written to Dominic.
“Ava, really?” he said with so much pain in his voice it broke my heart. “You wrote this yesterday? And sent it?”
“Brian, no wait, let me explain,” I cried as I moved to take the computer from him. He held it up over his head, far out of my reach, as a sad look of betrayal spread across his face.
“I think this is pretty self-explanatory, don’t you?” he said quietly. “You’ve spelled it all out pretty clearly.”
“That’s not what I meant!” I cried. “I was trying to trap him, not get back together with him! He’s a psycho, and I wanted to catch him so that I could get back to my life — our life!”
“I’m not quite sure I see that here, Ava,” he said. “What I see is a woman who is still in love with her ex-boyfriend and who resents the guy her father hired to protect her.”
“I only said that so he wouldn’t try and hurt you, Brian!” I frantically tried to convince him of my plan, but since I’d never breathed a word of it, he’d been caught unaware. I didn’t blame him for being angry, but I didn’t want him to believe that anything I’d written in that letter could possibly be true. “I love you, Brian! That’s the honest truth! I love you, not that jerk who abused me and made me feel worthless!”
“Could have fooled me,” Brian said sadly. “I don’t believe you. I think you’re playing both sides and waiting to see who wins.”
“Oh my God! You are so pigheaded!” I yelled. “Why can’t you trust me? Why don’t you believe me?” I stopped yelling and began crying in frustration. He was choosing not to believe me, and there was no way I could convince him that I’d had a plan to try and trap Dominic.
“Ava, I wish I could believe you, I really do,” he said. “But I can’t.”
PROTECTOR #6
“Brian!” I cried as he looked at the computer screen and then turned away. I was shocked that I’d blurted out how I really felt about him, but I was more concerned that he didn’t believe me. I wasn’t sure how I was going to be able to prove my plan, and I cursed myself for keeping it a secret from him to begin with.
“This is just…” he trailed off as he set the computer down on the desk, grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair, and headed toward the door.
“Just what?” I yelled. “It’s nothing! I didn’t mean it! How can I prove to you that I was trying to help you? I wanted to lure Dominic in so you could trap him and call the police. You’ve got to believe me!”
“It’s hard for me to know what to believe, Ava,” he said as he turned and looked at me. My heart ached at seeing the look on his face, but I knew why he felt betrayed. I hadn’t been honest with him.
“Brian, I wasn’t trying to lie to you,” I said softly. “I was honestly trying to help.”
“Ava, can we just let this go for the moment?” he ask
ed. “I need to go out and get some air and clear my head. We’ve been cooped up here for so long, I can’t think clearly anymore.”
I nodded and looked at the floor. I was ashamed of what I’d done, but I also knew that I had the best of intentions and that I’d never wanted to hurt him. I felt confident that if he really thought about it, he’d realize that as well, and that we’d be able to work things out.
“Okay, I get it,” I said.
“I’ll be back in a half hour,” he said as he walked to the door. “Please don’t leave this room, and don’t answer the door. No matter who it is, okay?”
“Fine, fine,” I agreed. “I’ll just stay holed up here like a fugitive while you go out and paint the town.”
“Ava…” he replied in a tone that let me know he wasn’t finding any of this funny at all.
“I’m kidding,” I said as I held up my hands. “I’ll stay here and do my homework, and I won’t answer the door. I promise.”
“Please, just do that,” he said. “For me?”
“I will,” I said solemnly. “I promise.”
He nodded as he grabbed his jacket and phone, then turned and headed toward the door. Just before he opened it, he turned and looked at me once more, and I saw it; the look. He gave me a look that let me know just how much was at stake in me following directions this time. I nodded slowly and bowed my head.
*****