"Okay," she said. Thank fuck she was on board. I told her I'd pick her up at seven thirty Friday night. She nodded – not that enthusiastic, but it was still a yes.
"Can I walk you to your car?" I asked.
"Sure, we're going the same way anyway," she said. We walked side by side. My hand brushed the back of hers accidentally, and she silently crossed her arms across her chest. Fuck, that stung, I realized, miles away from this girl who was right next to me where the hell I was. I was back to square one, maybe less than that. I was sure of what I felt, but that was because it was easy for me. I hadn't been the one who had had to hear from my boyfriend of almost three years that he didn't love me anymore out of the blue.
"Thank you for coming to see me," I said again as we walked up to her car.
"I'm not going to lie to you. Up until one thirty, I wasn't sure I was."
"Can I ask what changed your mind?" I asked, wishing I didn't as soon as it came out of my mouth. But I needed to hear it. The lies I had told her before I left were the reason she was here like this now, scared of me.
"Something told me you were being sincere. For that, I figured you at least deserved a chance to say what you needed to say."
"What about the date?"
"If you wanna test your luck, I'll cancel it," she threatened. She was smiling a little and her voice was light. It was something. I'd take a tepid smile over tears any day. That bit of fire, too? That was her, my girl. We said our goodbyes, and I waited till she had driven away to get into my car and head home.
I dropped the basket onto the kitchen counter when I got home. First day it wasn't full of food I'd have to eat myself. Today was a good day, I thought. It was a win. A small one. One which depended on what happened Friday, but I was taking it. I was back in.
Chapter Sixteen
Veronica
Tiffany had called me saying she was coming over that afternoon. The knock at the door came right on cue. I turned the television off and went to get it. Since it was only her, I didn't care that I was in my pajamas with my hair in a bun. She breezed in, dressed like she had had places to go during the day. I had had places to go during the day, too, but my apartment was a strict comfort-only zone. The jeans and bra came off the second I walked through the door.
I was about to ask her how she was when I noticed the look on her face. She was grinning so hard she could split her cheeks.
"Why are you in such a good mood?"
"Why aren't you in a better one?" I looked at her blankly. "You have a date tomorrow."
"I know, that still doesn't tell me why you’re so thrilled."
"So, you aren't excited?" she asked. We made our way to the couch. My dining table was crowded with books and photocopies, but I was taking a break.
"It's your brother; we went out for almost three years."
"That was in the past, you're new people now."
"Different versions of the same people," I said to her, "so no. He can't surprise me at this point. I know him pretty well."
"A lot can change in a year," she said.
"If you know something, tell me now."
"Nothing," she said innocently, "I'm just excited.
"You know that's not normal, right?"
"I've been rooting for you since the beginning. I'm excited the two of you are finally talking again."
"That's all we're doing – talking."
"Of course it is," she said, grinning.
"Stop looking at me like that."
"Just admit you're excited, too."