"Slow down," he said, breathlessly. "You don't stop, I'm gonna come." I gave him a few, last good sucks, hollowing my cheeks out on my way back up, then let him pop free of my mouth. I looked up at him, and he offered me a hand to help me back up. Before I knew it, he had scooped me up in his arms. My back pressed into the wall and then he kissed me. He was clawing at my panties to get them off. I slid them down, afraid he'd rip them.
He hoisted me up against the wall once my panties were out of the way. He ground his rod against my clit, holding my legs open. I bit back my cry, self-conscious that my neighbors would hear us. I reached between us, guiding him to my lips so he slid smoothly inside. He was big, but it never hurt when he was inside me. I felt full like he fit me perfectly. I gushed when he fucked me. The pleasure at my core flowed through my whole body.
Every one of his deep thrusts hit me like a bullet. Something about the angle made me gasp every time our hips met. I bit my lip, leaning back against the wall.
"Harder," I whispered. His next thrust made me yelp, arching my back against the wall because he hit my clit. Again. Again. I felt myself quiver. I wanted the wave to crest higher, but my orgasm burst inside of me, and I would have ended up on the floor if Roman wasn't holding me up. He pushed into me, chest to chest, then fucked me with quick, short, frantic strokes. He grunted, tightening his hold on my thighs before a groan ripped from his chest. He pumped in and out of me through his orgasm, and I felt him fill me up. Our pants soon silenced, and the room became still again.
He held me to the wall with his hips, kissing me. He was still inside me, but softening now. I was barely aware of anything else but his strong arms, taking my weight again when we were in my room suddenly. My back gently hit the bed as his body took the space on top of me. I knew he wouldn't be able to go again so soon after coming, but what was happening now? His lips kissing me slowly and deeply felt incredible. The comfort of feeling him close to me after what we just did heated me through.
Lying there, I believed him. It was all true. He loved me and he was sorry and he wanted us to start again. Things would be different this time, but it didn't matter because we had both grown from the situation and we'd know how to handle ourselves. It sounded tempting. Almost too good to be true.
I couldn't hold this over him forever, but wasn't it worse if I just trusted him blindly again? It had been a great few weeks reconnecting, but a great few weeks wasn't enough to make me forget the months I had spent trying to get over him after he dumped me. He reassured me whenever we were together that I had nothing to worry about, but trust isn't built in a day. The trust I used to have in him had been built over years of love and friendship. It was coming back, slowly, the comfort that used to be there.
If what I needed was time, then I hadn't had enough.
We ended up in the shower together, you know, to save water. We did it again, him behind me as I b
raced myself against the tiled wall. I was tired by the time we were in my bed together. He slept behind me, one arm thrown over my side and our bodies molded together, naked. He was asleep before I was and after two orgasms, I should have been more tired. My racing thoughts wouldn't let me rest, though.
Stop it, I thought. Stop looking for reasons to keep doubting him. This, him, the two of you finally back together is what you want. Stop looking for a way to self-sabotage.
Was it self-sabotage if the goal was actually to take care of myself? Being on the defensive was an unhealthy way to get into a relationship, but could you blame me? Even if I wasn't and I was just looking at the facts, pretended I had no involvement in this at all and was just a third party bystander, what would it look like to me?
Guy and girl get back together after a year apart. The guy is on the fast track to becoming a pro football player and the girl's just trying to maintain her GPA through summer semester. He's wanted to go pro all his life. Money, fame, and a career he's always wanted can all be his except for one little problem: the girl.
Faced with the decision, what does he choose?
What would I choose if I were him?
He kept saying this stuff about working it out, talking and figuring something out that didn't have to mean that we had to break up again. Even if that happened though, what was that? Long distance? How long did those last? How long would we if we were trying it? How long before he got caught up in his new world of professional sports and eventually getting caught up in some other girl's shorts?
What about me? I still had to graduate, and I wanted to travel. I wanted to start working and develop a lifestyle that I enjoyed. Would there be room for him anymore? Maybe I would meet someone and maybe the fact that the guy was with me physically and not miles away would be enough to make me choose him instead of Roman.
I wasn't making myself feel better, but why start crying about it now? This was us and if we kept being us, then it was what we'd have to face, later if not now. No, definitely not now. Right now was bedtime. A quiet night close to each other, intimate and peaceful. I tried again to slow my thoughts down because they would just ruin this for me.
I wriggled against Roman's hold so I could turn and look at him. I noticed how long his lashes looked when his eyes were closed and how young and handsome he was, too. I touched his bristly cheek, gently, but not gently enough not to wake him. He sighed deeply and his eyes opened, focusing on me.
"Hey," he said.
"Hi."
"Everything okay?" he asked.
"Yeah. I just couldn't sleep." I leaned down and kissed his forehead, then his lips.
"What's wrong?" he asked me, leaning up on one elbow.
"Nothing," I reassured him, touching his chest. "I'm glad you're here with me."
"I am, too," he said. He pushed a tuft of my hair back behind my ear and kissed me. I deepened the kiss, pushing my tongue into his mouth and rolling over top of him. I reached between us for his dick.
"Round three, babe?" he asked, flirtatiously. He held me around the waist and flipped us over so I was on my back. I wanted him. I didn't want to think about a dark future that hadn't come yet. I just wanted to be there with him, for everything else to fade out and feel like I had him, right now, fuck the past and the future.
I gasped as he pushed into me. I closed my eyes and felt him – his heat, hardness, weight on top of me, tongue and lips on my skin. Even if he was leaving again, he was mine right now and nobody could take that away from me.
Chapter Twenty Three
Roman