"How did we end up like this?" I sighed.
"You're protective of each other. You went with your instincts instead of slowing down and waiting for another option."
"I feel so stupid," I said, drying my face.
"You aren't stupid, neither of you. You both had good intentions; it just wasn't the right thing to do."
"He still deserves it. To play. I hope he's happy."
"I know what would make this better, for both of you," she said.
"I can't tell him all this now, he just left. He would come back, try to get out of his contract, something risky like that."
"He should still hear it. Don't let him live there thousands of miles away alone with that being the last memory of the two of you together."
"I can't do it yet. I made this decision getting ready to lose him. It hurts, but I made my bed."
"Vee, you're doing it again. You're punishing both of you by not talking to him."
But it's better this way, I thought. I'd pushed him into this and it was where he had to stay now. I couldn't swoop back in and tell him I changed my mind.
"Maybe this is how it was meant to be," I said. "If it isn't, then maybe we'll be brought together again somehow. I don't think right now is our time." Tiffany looked like she was holding back. I knew that she'd respect what I wanted, but it probably irked her more than anything.
"I can't say I get it, but... I don't think it's for me to get."
"Would you trust me on it?"
"I sort of have to," she said, shooting me a crooked smile.
"I'm sorry for dating your brother."
"You were the best thing about him, what does he have going for himself now?" she joked. I laughed at that. It was still a little hollow, but felt good.
I was back in bed fifteen minutes after she left. My hand found its way to the nightstand, picking up my necklace. I put it on, tucking it safely under the neck of my top. He had given it to me before he left the last time. Now, I'd wear it, the way he would have wanted. The barely there weight against my neck was nothing close weight of his body in bed close to me, but it was something. It was all I could get and I was taking it.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Roman
"Roman!"
I stopped and looked behind me. Coach Hayes was walking up the hallway behind me. Coaches never looked like they were supposed to coach the sports that they did. Coach Hayes was tall, really tall, taller than I was, but looked like if he had ever played anything, it was basketball, not football. He caught up to me.
"Yeah, Coach?"
"You're here every day, Roman. You're more dedicated than the guys we've had on our roster the past five years," he said. I shrugged.
"I'm here to do a job. I wanna make sure I can when the time comes."
"It's going to be your first training camp, isn't it," he said, I thought more to himself than to me. He was right. It was going to be my first training camp. I had trained for football for most of my life at this point, but training camp? Professional training camp was not a fucking joke.
All I had to go on were reports from the few other players I'd met who were coming to the facility to get their individual training in before camp started. Apparently, it was brutal. Long days, early start time, two practices a day, weightlifting, and a lot of playbook study. Some of them were coming to the facility to get their injuries taken care of before camp so they didn't end up making them worse. I had made it through playing in high school and college without any really bad injuries, but the point was still to be careful. When you're an athlete, your body is your bread. You break something bad enough and the checks stop coming in.
"I have a feeling you'll be just fine," Coach Hayes told me. "Just concentrate. Remember why you're here. Nobody said it would be easy, but it will be worth it." I nodded, thanking him for his advice. I had been trying to work on my strength and endurance since moving. If nothing else, I didn't want to feel ground down to dust by the end of each training day when camp started. "How's the move been treating you?"
"Fine," I said, shrugging again. The weather had been 89 degrees or hotter since I had gotten here. It was going to stay that high, crawling into the mid-nineties through August. With the humidity, it was kind of ridiculous. It hadn't been long enough for my body to be able to take it yet.
"Where were you before? South Dakota?"