The whistle blew and I shot off the side of the pool and into the water, letting my fear and anxiety propel me to take first place at the meet.
Everyone was thrilled, except me.
I couldn't seem to shake the numbness that had settled over me.
I had to let her go. She wasn't intended to be mine, anyways.
I wasn't worthy of something that great.
Chapter 19
Val
Something was wrong with Tate. It didn't matter that he pulled through and took first place in the swim tournament. He was upset, and I figured something had happened before he came to campus. His texts had gone from playful and flirty to short and almost non-existent.
"Hey, great job out there today." I reached up and touched his chest.
He glanced around while pulling my hand away. "Yeah, it was good."
"It was better than good." I smiled at him and moved around until he put his attention back on me. He was pulling back again. Was it because I hadn't slept with him?
"Thanks, Val. I'm glad you were here." He winked and started to turn.
"Hey. Wait." I grabbed his arm and tilted my head to the side. "Did I do something wrong?"
He hesitated, and I had my answer. "No. It's just...I have a lot going on. Too much, actually."
"Then, let's get out of here together. Come with me to the lake tonight. We can build a fire and roast marshmallows." I almost sounded like the needy bitch I was.
"I can't. Really." He tugged his arm from me and started to leave again.
I jogged around him, wrapped my arms around his neck, and pressed myself to the front of him, kissing him hard in front of everyone. He was stiff and unyielding for the first few seconds, but he quickly warmed up and returned the kiss.
The chants around us were infantile, but I didn't care. I wanted him to know that there wasn't anything we couldn't figure out. I'd just found him. I wasn't losing him yet.
He pulled back before kissing me again softly. "We can go out, but nowhere around here. I need to get the fuck away from these people and their expectations."
"Good. I'll drive out to your mother's place and-"
"No. Meet me at the outside track in an hour and dress warm. We'll go to the big lakes just a couple of hours from here. I'll get Sam's truck." His eyes moved down to my lips. "Don't tell anyone, okay?"
"Alright." I didn't understand why he was being so secretive, but I didn't care. Something was obviously going on with him, and I planned on finding out what it was.
He kissed me once more before turning and walking back to the locker room. I watched him go as I wrapped my arms around myself. I was soaked all down the front of my clothes, but I'd be fine. The Gamma house was only a few hundred feet away and my coat was dry on the bench behind me.
"What was that all about?" Martin asked as he walked up beside me.
"I'm not sure. Something is wrong." I glanced up at him, hoping that he would know what happened.
"You're telling me. He acted like an ass to Coach today. I'm surprised he got to swim at all." He shrugged. "Anyway, figure it out and make it better. We need him."
I nodded and let out a long sigh as Martin left me standing there by myself. "I need him, too."
The truth was almost too painful to admit. I wasn't in love, but I could see myself getting there without too much effort, at all.
*
"Wow. You look incredible." Tate walked around to my side of the truck and opened the door for me as I walked toward him.