“Hate to play Devil’s Advocate here, but you left him, remember?”
“Damnit, Grace,” I muttered, no longer wanting yogurt. I had left him, yes, but I hadn’t wanted anything else from him. My heart still ached every time I thought about him. “I’m not going to take it. I’m not taking his damned bonus.”
Grace grabbed my shoulders and forced me to look at her. “You’re insane. Take the money and forget about him. You still have to live, you know. Do I need to remind you that you're now unemployed again? What if it’s months before you find another position?”
I sighed, knowing she probably right. My car had broken down on the way back from the airport this morning, and after some fiddling with the battery, I was able to get it to limp back home and leave it in the driveway. It needed some serious work, and the extra money would go a long way toward making that happen.
“Fine,” I finally said. “I’ll go get the money.” Besides, Owen was in Florida for another few days, and my chances of running into him were non-existent if I went before he and the band got back to L.A.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Owen
It was a perfect Southern Florida day, the sun high in the air with a slight breeze coming off of the ocean as Talon and I sat down at an outdoor table alongside the beach. As I looked out over the blue expanse of the ocean, my stomach started to rumble at the thought of a big breakfast.
We were actually finished with the first leg of the tour. But, fo
r some reason, as well as all of our shows had gone, I didn’t feel like I had accomplished anything. Instead, I felt empty, the sting of Nalia’s abrupt departure still a bruise on my heart.
I hadn’t realized how much she had become part of my life until she was no longer there, and I hadn’t slept much at all since her absence. As much as I tried to ignore them, thoughts of her ran through my head so much that it was rare now to find myself thinking about anything else. Still, what could I do? What happened had happened. She made her choice, she left, and that's about all there was to it. I would simply have to accept it and get over it.
“I’m starving,” Talon remarked as he looked at the menu. “I think I could eat everything on this damn thing.”
“Well, I guess that means I’ll be fronting the bill then,” I said dryly. He gave me the middle finger, and I sighed, glad my brother was talking to me again after our “heated misunderstanding,” as Talon was calling it.
Fighting with Talon wasn’t really anything new—that’s what brothers did—but it didn’t make me feel any better about it. I had, after all, been the instigator, and it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't let my personal feelings get in the way and then taken them out on him. I was a mess—confused and unable to concentrate on anything. I wanted to snap out of it, but it just didn’t seem to be happening.
The waitress came by, and we both ordered a Bloody Mary and omelets before handing our menus back to her.
“So,” Talon said, leaning back in his chair. “Half of the tour is down. Can you believe that? We've finished half of the tour. Man, it really feels like it's been just a couple of days on the road. Crazy how fast time flies by when you're having a good time.”
“No, I actually can't believe it,” I replied with a grim smile. “Not so much the tour, but in general. Back when we started out, I would have never thought we’d get this far. We’ve really had quite the run.”
“That we have, bro,” he answered as the waitress deposited our drinks onto the table. Talon picked his up and saluted it my way. “To good times.”
I picked mine up and clinked glasses with him. “Agreed.”
“This tour has been better than I imagined,” he said, “and it's been so good for all of us. Me especially, you know? This band means so much to me. I just wanted to say thank you again for keeping your promise and getting this whole thing going again.”
“No problem, little brother. It's been good for me, too.”
We each took a sip and then settled back in our chairs, the sound of the ocean filling the silence between us. Five days of rest lay ahead, and I had no idea what to do with the time. Our lives had been so hectic over the last month or so, and now that I had down time, all I wanted to do was to go back out there and just start it over again. I wanted something to keep me occupied.
My only solace since Nalia had cut off any contact with me had been found in playing shows. I needed to rehearse, to sing, to write new music...anything that would keep my mind off of her and the future I kept thinking about with her. The future that wasn’t going to happen.
“Ya know, I’ve been thinking,” Talon said. “I think I’d like to have a few kids.”
“What?” I asked, turning my attention back to my brother. “Did I just hear you right?” I asked, shocked.
“I didn’t stutter.”
“Don’t you have to get married and all that shit first to be thinking about kids? Besides, you're the absolute last person I had ever expected to hear utter those words.”
Talon laughed. “I’m not gonna run out and drop little Talon bombs everywhere. But I have been thinking about it a little lately. Ya know, wondering what it would be like to have someone to come home to. As much as I love the attention we get from all the women on the road, it does get a bit old after a while. I can't help thinking about what it might be like to have something more...you know...lasting. Permanent.”
I thought about what my brother said, and once again Nalia overtook my mind. I had to force myself not to think about what it would be like to come home to her, to have kids with her. But that just wasn’t meant to be. The facts were clear: she was gone and I was sitting beside the ocean with Talon, not her.
“I want the same thing,” I admitted. “Actually, it would be pretty amazing to have that, the more I think about it. Just not so sure it’s in the cards for me.”