"No, to actually talk," Ethan defended my honor. "This whole thing with Charles Dorsey has dredged up a lot of questions about my past, and I promised Kayla that tonight I would answer any and all questions she had about my days right after college when I was first starting the business and still hanging out with you morons."
Gwyneth smirked knowingly and said, "Oh, so you want to talk about a different kind of addiction all together. Ethan's only been hooked on two things: first speed, and then sex."
"You mean the adrenaline rush he gets from riding fast?" I asked naively, hoping I had just misunderstood her innuendo.
"No, I mean uppers, cocaine, crystal meth. You name it, he took it. It started as a way to study all night for his finals, but before long, he was completely addicted. When he got out of college, he kept taking them at work, and when he quit Krueger and branched out on his own, he took even more."
Vick nodded in agreement, and said, "He was convinced working non-stop without sleep was the only way to get his company going, and taking speed was the way to make it happen. We could see how much it was changing him and tried to intervene, but he was addicted and found a way no matter what you did."
"Don't you think this is my story to tell?" Ethan glared at two friends, but they refused to let the subject drop.
Gwyneth continued, "He'd do anything to get more speed: lie, steal, betray his closest friends. I hated watching what it was doing to him, so I gave him an ultimatum. Check into Garden Hope Center or it was over between us."
"His mistake was my gain." Vick kissed her passionately, and she giggled like a schoolgirl. I could see Ethan was growing really uncomfortable. I couldn't help but wonder if he was jealous of the two of them. Did he still have feelings for his ex-girlfriend?
"Why can't everyone just leave the past where it fucking belongs?" he shouted out angrily, and suddenly, he got up and stormed away from the table.
While Vick and Gwyneth gaped in surprise, I followed after him.
"Ethan, I understand what's wrong," I called after him. His long legs were capable of big strides and I had to practically run to catch up to him. I rounded the corner just in time to see him step into the men's room. Taking a deep breath for courage, I followed him in.
"Can't a guy keep anything private?" Ethan glared at me as I stepped into the restroom. Several men gasped, zipped up their flies, and left abruptly, giving us the room to ourselves.
"Sorry, but I think we need to finish talking this out," I explained, refusing to go.
"Haven't you heard enough? I wanted to tell you what happened my way, but those two wouldn't quit blabbing."
"Why? So you could filter the past and just tell me the parts you wanted me to hear?" I wanted to say, “Like how you never stopped loving Gwyneth when she dumped you or how jealous you are that she's with Vick now?” But I kept those thoughts to myself.
“It's my story to tell and I should get to be the one who shares it. I want you to know the whole truth, even as ugly as it was, but I didn't want you to hear it like some gossip story told by two drunks who didn't really experience it.
“They don't know what it was like to be me, to feel the pressures to succeed, and to never have had anyone to count on but myself. I had to work all night long, and taking speed to do it seemed like a reasonable thing to do at the time. Of course, I know better now, but back then, I was just a scared kid doing what I thought was right. I'm not a monster, just a fool."
"It must have been hard for you," I sympathized. Then I looked at him carefully, and continued, "Especially when you lost Gwyneth."
"It was at the time, but she means nothing to me now. I thought taking speed was the greatest high there was, and I thought being with Gwynn was the greatest love there was; but now I know just how wrong I was. Speeding on my bike, building my own business, becoming the success I am now are all far greater highs than I ever got from drugs."
He pulled me into his arms, caressed my cheek, and gazed lovingly into my eyes. With a voice that was thick was lust, he said, "And being with you is a million times better than Gwyn had ever been. When I was a young kid, I thought I loved her; but now I'm a man and I know that what I have with you is far richer, far greater, and far more meaningful."
Ethan reached back with one hand and locked the door to the men's room, and before he was even finished, I flung myself at him, wrapping my body around him as we kissed passionately. He hadn't said the words, but in his own way, he had told me he loved me. I knew I loved him, too.
"Fuck me," I said, and my voice was throaty with desire. Ethan fulfilled my needs that night, not just emotionally, but physically. We were one in every way, and I was happy.
Chapter Thirty
Ethan
I never talked about my past. I didn't need to talk about it with the people who had been there at the time because they already knew the hell I'd been through, and I never talked about it with anyone else because it was none of their business. I'd learned from my mistakes and now those mistakes were dead and buried. I wanted to keep them that way, and ignoring them and never bringing them up seemed like the best plan to keep it that way. Until Kayla came along.
I trusted her in ways I never trusted anyone: not even Gwyneth or my father. She was so natural and authentic, I felt safe to be my real self with her. No pretenses, cover-ups, or lies. I had always intended to tell her everything at my own pace, when the time felt right; but then this bullshit lawsuit with Dorsey happened and I had to push my timetable way up.
Fine. I could deal with it, especially if the alternative meant losing Kayla. Only, I wanted to tell her privately in my own words. Then, Vick and Gwyneth had ruin that by running their drunken mouths too much. Shit. Wasn't anything personal anymore? It was more than I could take and I had to get the hell out of there before I lost my temper and did or said something I regretted.
I didn't expect Kayla to follow me into the men's room, and I really didn't expect that she would have mistaken my reaction as jealousy over Gwyneth trading me for Vick. I had to let her know the truth about I really felt, and when I did, I was rewarded by the sound of her sweet lips whispering, "Fuck me."
I locked the door behind us, ensuring that we would have the spacious men's room all to ourselves, and pulled her into my arms, kissing her with all the passion I felt deep inside. She melted in my embrace, opening her mouth to mine and letting me overpower her tongue with my own. God, she tasted good.
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