"Yeah, I've been lonely," he said without explaining further. "Dinner?"
We sat down to a delicious dinner of pot roast with winter vegetables and a fresh salad. The table was a dark walnut that had been shined to the point that I could have used it as a mirror. It was surrounded by six, beautiful leather chairs in a shade of rust that came close to matching Cam's wild, wavy curls. I pointed this out, and he laughed at the coincidence.
"Did you make this?" I asked, stroking the table as I imagined his strong hands working the wood.
"No, I found it in a second-hand shop and had it polished," he said as he poured wine into the glass in front of me. He toasted and then sat quietly for a moment before he said, "Quinn never saw the finished house."
"Thank you for sharing your accomplishment with me." I smiled as I tucked my fantasies away in a far corner of my brain. Cam wasn't ready to go there with me, so I said, "And thank you for helping me and Liz."
"It's the least I can do," he said as he dug into the meal.
As I watched him eat, it struck me that there was something on his mind, but I knew that he wasn't going to talk about it until he was ready, so I steered the conversation in a comfortable direction, giving him space to figure it out. A couple of times, I saw him take a deep breath as if he was going to say something, but then he would back off and offer me seconds or more wine. I knew the weight of whatever he was carrying was getting heavier by the minute, but I couldn't make him do anything he wasn't ready to do.
"Alex, I have to share something with you," he said as we curled up on the living room couch drinking coffee and eating a decadent chocolate dessert that he'd picked up from a French bakery near the station.
"Mmm hmm," I said as I took a bite of the cake and licked frosting off of the fork.
"Six months after Quinn died, I learned that I was the beneficiary of her life insurance policy," he began. "I didn't want the money because there was no amount of money that was going to ease the pain of losing her, but I got the check anyway. So, I decided to do something productive with it, and I invested it in a business, and now..."
"Now what?" I asked. I could feel the weight of his burden in his sigh. "It's okay, Cam, you can tell me whatever it is that's bothering you."
"I don't know, Alex, I'm not sure you're going to like what I have to tell you," he said as he looked down at the sleeping dog at his feet.
"You're going to have to take a chance," I said, reaching out for his hand and squeezing it. He looked at me for a few moments before he began to speak again.
"My business is a security company. It's run by my best friend, Leo, and we've built it into a very profitable company over the past ten years," he said carefully. "Now we've been offered a contract that will send our profits through the roof and garner a lot of attention."
"Okay, so what's the problem with that?" I asked, feeling a lump forming in the pit of my stomach, but wanting to hear him out.
"The condition of the new contract is that we have to publicly support our client," he said, holding my gaze. There was a fierce intensity in his eyes, and I knew that what he was going to say next was going to be the deal-breaker. "We're going to sign a contract to provide security to Richard Metzler during his campaign, and for that we're going to make an enormous amount of money and get a lot of publicity."
"And this affects me how?" I asked, pulling back a bit. I could feel the tension between us building as I looked at him. Everything in me said to get up and walk away from this situation.
"I...I wanted you to know that I've got a lot of money and that I'm going to be in the public eye after we sign the contract," he said hesitatingly. "I know how you feel about wealth, but I wasn't sure how..."
"I see," I said, holding his gaze. My protective inner voice screamed, "Run!" but the voice of the woman who had already fallen for Cam begged me to stay. "I don't know, Cam."
"Okay." He shrugged as he let go of my hand and picked up his coffee cup.
I knew I was disappointing him, but I didn't know how I felt about this development. The guy who I'd thought was a working-class firefighter with a painful past had suddenly morphed into a rich guy who was about to become very well known. If I stuck with him, I was going to be subjected to the glare of the spotlight, too. Not only that, but he was Violet’s father!
"Look, Alex, I know it's a lot to throw at you tonight, but I felt like I needed to tell you before Leo and I go public with it," he said, squaring his shoulders as he waited for me to speak.
"I don't know, Cam," I said softly. "I just don't know if I can deal with this right now. There's a lot about my history that I don't want being publicly consumed, but I also don't want to throw out what we share."
He set his cup down and reached for me, and without a word I melted into his arms. I leaned against his chest as he wrapped his strong arms around me and rested his chin on top of my head. I closed my eyes and tried to think clearly about this revelation.
"I'm scared, Cam," I whispered as I turned my head to look up at him.
"I am, too, Alex," he said softly as he bent down and kissed me.
I felt the familiar surge of desire flow through my body as I kissed him back, and all of my defense mechanisms crumbled as he slowly ran his hands down my body. Everything about this felt right, and yet I couldn't let go of the small nagging doubt that fluttered around the edge of my brain.
"Cam..."I gasped as I pulled back and looked into his emerald eyes. I wanted him, there was no doubt about that, but could I live with the reality of his life?
My phone cut through the heavy weight of expectation as it rang in my purse. I leapt off of the couch and ran to answer it.
"Alex, it's Leslie," the nurse said. "I think you need to get back her. Liz is having a rough time and she's calling for you."