“Sorry, son. You’re not going anywhere; Chief Canter said I need to make sure you’re still alive when the agent arrives for you.”
I looked desperately at the officer and then over to Sid, neither of them seemed to care at all that I would totally destroy Sarah’s heart if I left without even saying goodbye to her. I had to talk to her. I had to apologize for the lies I had told and the omissions I had left out. I couldn’t have her last memory of me being my yelling at her to go.
“Please,” I begged Sid.
“No.”
He didn’t look at me at all when he answered. I wasn’t sure if he was angry at me for wanting to say goodbye to Sarah or angry because I was pushing them to say goodbye even after they told me no. Maybe he was angry that Sarah and I had been together; I really didn’t know. But I had to risk it. If I risked nothing else at all, I had to risk them being angry at me so I had the opportunity to see her and explain my side of things.
I looked to Meredith for help. She was kind and understanding, certainly she would say something in my defense so I could go say goodbye to Sarah. Meredith wouldn’t want her daughter’s heart-broken; I was sure of it.
But as I looked at Meredith, she turned just shook her head and motioned for me not to push it. She was on their side. No one wanted me to see Sarah or say good-bye to her. My stomach was in knots thinking about how much she was going to hate me.
We waited and watched as the coroner came and picked up the dead bodies. Then, just
like clockwork, Agent Walker arrived to take me away. He exchanged pleasantries with the local police and then with Sid before coming over to check on me.
“Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve seen you. And sorry it’s under these circumstances.”
“I have a friend that’s up at the north barn. I need to say goodbye to her before we leave,” I responded to him without exchanging the normal pleasantries.
Agent Walker looked at Sid who shook his head no, and that was all it took for my request to be denied. I knew I had lost the battle. I was exhausted from the events of the morning and the adrenaline had drained from my body and left me so tired I could hardly keep my eyes open. As much as I wanted to see Sarah, I had to admit defeat.
“Let’s get you back home. They have scheduled you to testify via video tape and are hopeful that Gordano will take a plea after seeing that you’re still alive.”
“Okay,” I said in defeat.
I turned toward Sid to tell him what I thought of him and all he had done for me. Sure, I was angry that he didn’t want me to say goodbye to Sarah, but that didn’t matter. I knew he had gone above and beyond to keep me safe and that deserved my praise.
“I’ll never forget you, Sid. You’re a man I’d like to be someday. Thanks for everything,” I said as I extended my hand and he grabbed a hold of it.
“Keep yourself out of trouble.”
“I will.”
Meredith walked over and I was about to extend my hand to say goodbye to her, but then I reached for her and gave her one last hug. She had been the first person to hug me when I arrived and she would be the last hug I got before I left.
“You tell Sarah the truth for me. Tell her what we had was real. Please,” I said in her ear.
Meredith just looked at me and smiled as I pulled away. I wanted to hear her say that she would tell Sarah. I needed to know that Sarah wasn’t going to be told what a horrible person I was. It might not matter at all, but I wanted some sort of affirmation that Meredith would tell Sarah the truth.
“It was a pleasure meeting you,” Meredith said sweetly as she stood there with Sid.
They both waved at me as I walked to the car and got in with agent Walker. My time at the Miller ranch had saved my life. They had provided me the protection I needed while I waited for the trail and all I had given them was a horrific crime scene to clean up after.
I felt empty as we drove away. Like nothing I had contributed over the last year had mattered at all. All I could hope for was that they would forgive me for my mistakes and that Sarah would be able to look back fondly on the time we had together. I had to truth that she would be able to see I was genuine with her, even if I had lied to her about my past.
Chapter Fourteen
Sarah
“Do you want to come help me with breakfast?” my mother asked me as she stood over my bed.
“No, I want to sleep.”
“Honey, it’s been two weeks. We need to move forward.”
“I’m tired mom. Maybe I’ll get up tomorrow and help.”