“Oh, mom, you are just so convincing, I couldn’t stay sleeping another moment longer.”
“Well get to cutting up those vegetables for me,” she said as she pointed to a pile of onions, peppers, and mushrooms. “I’ve gotten a little behind this morning. I’m glad you came down to help.”
“Omelets?” I asked.
“Yep, it’s their favorite. Everyone is going to be here soon; just bring those vegetables up to me when you get them done.”
My mother grabbed a few things and made her way to the front of the line so she could start making omelets for everyone. I curled my fingers under and held onto an onion as I started to chop it up.
The memory of standing in that exact same sport with Garrett was fresh in my mind and I couldn’t help but smile. He had pretended like he didn’t know a thing about chopping vegetables, yet as soon as I showed him what to do Garrett was slicing and dicing them up like a professional. It made me laugh to think about how he had tricked me into standing with him and holding his hand to slice up the vegetables.
I couldn’t forget about his bandaged hands and those sores that he had from shoveling horse shit the first few weeks before I had arrived home. I had never seen anything like that and at least now it made a little more sense why he had such sensitive hands. Malcolm didn’t look like he had worked much with his hands at all.
That moment with Garrett still seemed very much real in my mind. He hadn’t seemed like he was lying to me. The way he looked at me, the way his hands touched me, they had all seemed so genuine. I missed that feeling. I wasn’t sure what had been real between us and what had just been part of his game to occupy his time while he was on the ranch. Of course, I wanted to think that every moment we had spent together was totally real, but I wasn’t that naive.
Honestly, I tried not to blame Garrett, or Malcolm, too much. He was stuck with us and why not enjoy the time? He was a hot, young guy and he had been a perfect gentleman with me. He had even warned me on several occasions that he wasn’t going to be around forever. But I just couldn’t shake the feeling that what we had might have been the real deal.
When we were alone together, his looks, his touch, they all felt like reality to me. I knew that it was real for me, the time I had spent with him was totally real. I cared about Garrett, even loved him, and now he was gone and I was left on the ranch to pick up the pieces.
I hadn’t loved many men in my life, so it was just going to be difficult for me to work through losing him. But I was a strong woman, I knew that about myself and I knew eventually his memory would fade away and someone new would show up in my life. At least my mind knew all of that, the rest of me just had to catch up.
My self-pity party had gotten away from me, and before I knew it, I had cut up all the vegetables. I was dazed and totally distracted and it was a good thing I hadn’t cut off one of my fingers in the process. I gathered the bowls up and brought them to my mother as she made omelets for the men.
“Here you go,” I said as I started to head back to the kitchen.
“Stay. I could use an extra hand this morning. It takes me forever to make each of the omelets and the men can get to work quicker if you help me.”
Reluctantly, I found another pan and started to make omelets with her as the men came through the line. The ranch hands didn’t look all that excited to be up that early and I couldn’t help but smile when I noticed the newest man running in at the last moment before we stopped serving breakfast. He was out of breath and looked totally disheveled as he stood in front of us.
“I just don’t know how these guys all get up so early without an alarm,” he said as he chose his toppings. “Is there some sort of trick?”
“I don’t know,” I lied to the young man. “Maybe talk with George and see what he has to say.”
George was the new manager of the ranch hands. He had worked with us for about three months and had known Garrett, as well as the two men who had died. George was a quiet guy and not much to look at, but he was good enough at the job and the men trusted him. Trust was a hard thing to earn with the men who worked for us and it was the best indicator of if a new manager would do a good job. If the men trusted him, he was likely to be very successful in working with them. If they didn’t trust him, he was likely to decide to move on to a different job rather quickly.
There was a sadness that surrounded the ranch though, and nothing seemed to be lifting it. When Garrett had been in charge, he was always upbeat and happy in the mornings. His smile brightened the other guys up and his joking ways had them in a great mood every day. But with Garrett gone, as well as Ralph and Devin, the ranch was a solemn place. There hadn’t been laughter at our ranch in two weeks and I wasn’t sure if it would ever return.
As breakfast finished up, I decided to spend my morning with the horses. I hadn’t been taking care of them much lately and thought it might brighten up my own mood to clean up Bambi and maybe even see if my father wanted to take a ride out to the river with me. I enjoyed riding and at the very least I knew that was something I could do to make myself happy.
The photos I had taken were beautiful and the real estate agent we hired thought she would be able to sell the land for a much higher price than my father had originally intended to sell it to hi
s friend. Of course, my father offered the land to his friend at the new price, but he declined. It turned out he had only been interested in it because my father was selling it so cheaply. Old man Joe had intended to resell the land at its rightful price and keep the proceeds for himself. Both my mother and I were furious over the details of what had gone on with old man Joe, but my father didn’t seem to mind at all.
“Buckjoy could use a little attention,” my father said as I walked into the barn. “He’s been pretty anxious this morning and a little down.”
“I’m sure he’d love it if you gave that to him,” I answered, although I knew he meant that he wanted me to spend time with the horse.
“No, I meant from you. I think he misses you.”
“Buckjoy misses Garrett and he’s just going to have to get over it because Garrett isn’t coming back. Plus, he’s a horse, Dad. How do you know he misses anyone?”
“He misses you,” my father said as he pulled Buckjoy out of his stall and walked him toward me. “Why don’t you take him out for a run? He needs to feel the air through his mane.”
“Dad, why don’t you take him out? I’m going to take care of Bambi today.”
I knew what my father was trying to do. He thought that spending time with Buckjoy would make me feel better. Well, he was wrong. The last thing in the world that I wanted to do was spend time with Garrett’s horse. I would just let my father take care of that horse from that point forward.
Just looking at Buckjoy had my mind flooded with memories of Garrett. I saw Garrett’s amazing smile and the way he had taken such good care of the horses that night of the storm. There were so many things that I missed about Garrett and looking at Buckjoy made them all come flooding back into my mind.