Stella had had a lot of sex in her life. She’d had relationship sex, and breakup sex, and post-fight sex, and just-for-fun sex, and plenty of other kinds. And she knew what ‘bad decision with someone you shouldn’t have slept with’ sex should feel like. In the moment, it was fantastic. Irresistible.
But the next morning, the bad decision came back to haunt you. Always. She should’ve been feeling guilty as hell. After all, Nate had said that it was unprofessional to get close. He’d practically leapt away from her in the kitchen. She should’ve respected that, instead of deliberately cozying up to him on the couch like she had.
But she didn’t feel bad. She didn’t feel guilty at all. Instead, she felt...what was that?
A weird spark of warmth in her chest. A feeling of...completeness. Security. Connection.
Mmmm, her lynx purred. Yes. Finally. We’ve been so long alone, and now we aren’t any longer.
“Oh, shit!”
Stella scrambled out from under Nate, stumbling to her feet and away from the couch. Nate was instantly upright, his eyes going straight to her, no evidence of confusion or sleepiness.
“What is it?” he said tensely, coming towards her, looking her up and down. “What happened?” His eyes darted to the door, the windows. “What’s wrong?”
Stella stared at him. Naked, disheveled, handsome as all get-out, looking at her with protective concern. Wanting to make sure she was all right.
And despite herself, she felt a wave of possessiveness come over her at the sight of him. Like her entire being looked at him and thought, That’s mine.
“We’re mates,” she said faintly.
He blinked at her. Then he flushed red.
Stella took that as confirmation. “Did you know?”
“No!” he said quickly. “Not before. I realized it when we were...together.” He glanced down at the couch, where he’d laid her out and blown her mind just a few hours ago.
Stella tried not to melt a little when hearing this man, who by his own account was extremely experienced with women and dated casually all the time, struggle through using a vague euphemism for sex. And failed.
“I should’ve said something right away,” Nate continued, his posture straightening. “Or at least before we fell asleep. I’m sorry.”
“That’s okay,” Stella said faintly. She remembered the feeling of warm happiness she’d drifted off to sleep with. She hadn’t wanted to disturb it for anything. “I understand.” She looked around the room, as th
ough the next step was waiting for her in a corner somewhere. It wasn’t, of course, so she looked back at Nate, and was startled all over again by his naked, handsome glory. “So what...does this mean? For us?”
“Well,” Nate said slowly, “what do you want it to mean?”
“I don’t know!” Stella could feel the edges of panic starting to move in around the warm feeling in her chest, the old sense of what do I want, I don’t know what I want. “I’ve never had a mate before!”
That made him laugh a little; Stella was struck by the dual feelings of wanting to laugh with him, and wanting to punch him for not taking this seriously.
“Neither have I,” he said. “So I guess we’re making it up as we go along. Unless you want to ask your sister.”
Stella pictured Lynn’s little life, going to work in the Park and then coming home every day to the same house where she’d grown up, settling in with Ken and then getting up the next day to do it all over again. She shuddered. “No, I don’t think so.”
“Okay,” Nate said, calm and measured. “So then we figure it out ourselves.”
“I’m not a we,” Stella said blankly. She’d never been in a forever relationship before. She might’ve thought about it back with Eva’s dad, but that had been so long ago that it had faded into the mists of time and tired, residual anger.
Since then, the only person she’d been really, truly committed to was Eva. She didn’t know how to mold her entire life around another adult’s.
Especially if she wasn’t getting a choice.
“I don’t think I can do this.” Stella backed toward the door, and then remembered that she wasn’t wearing any clothes. She snatched up her pajamas, and quickly got into her pants, her tank top. She saw her panties lying on the floor and grabbed them, stuffing them into her pocket. “I have to go. I can’t—I don’t know—I have to go.”
“Stella—” Nate’s voice echoed after her as she slipped out the door. She thought about running upstairs, but that felt like she’d be trapping herself. It wasn’t like he didn’t know where her room was.
So she stepped out the back door, her feet soaking in the morning dew, and shifted. She’d run like this, somewhere no one could catch her, and she’d figure everything out once she’d gotten away.