***
Carlos
Carlos watched Pauline chivvy all the kids out to the cars with a warm sense of pride.
Even Drew responded to her like a parent-figure, despite the fact that the kid had been acting as a parent himself for the last however long. Drew didn’t seem like the type of boy who was desperate for independence, who didn’t want anyone to tell him what to do—this responsibility had been thrust on his shoulders, and he seemed tentatively relieved to have a motherly type to rely on.
From what he’d heard, it didn’t sound like the kids’ real mom had been too reliable even when she’d been around, so it had probably been a long, long time since Drew had really felt like he could give over the decision-making to anyone else.
But Pauline...Pauline exuded competence. Carlos felt almost superfluous, because she had no problem whatsoever hoisting a screaming Val onto one hip while she took Troy’s hand on her other side and reassured Drew that everything was going to be fine. Carlos got ahead of her and opened the car doors, but he felt pretty sure that even if he hadn’t been there, she would’ve managed just fine.
It was a pleasure to watch. And Carlos could appreciate it even more, because he’d seen her vulnerable side, and he knew that underneath the confident mom-voice was a depth of feeling that he thought even Pauline would have a hard time putting into words. It was humbling.
And even more so, because he was starting to discover the same thing in himself. Watching his mate with these children...the thought that if the custody situation went the right way, that these could be their children...
He’d never known what he wanted, it seemed like. How could he have never known what he wanted?
He’d only known what he didn’t want. He didn’t want a scrabbling, desperate lifestyle like the one he’d grown up with. He didn’t want pain, and tears, and loneliness, and long, empty hours working shift after shift to almost put enough food on the table.
He hadn’t thought about the other side of it. The joy. The fulfillment.
And now he didn’t even have to choose. As long as everything went their way.
They all drove to the Davidson sisters’ house together, and brought the kids in. Stella and Nate were waiting inside, along with Stella’s daughter Eva, and Lynn.
Eva immediately went up to Drew and started talking seriously with him, while Troy tugged at her shirt and asked about her Nintendo in increasingly insistent tones.
“Looks like you’ve got your hands full,” Lynn observed quietly to Carlos.
“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” he assured her honestly.
“Huh.” She smiled. “Wasn’t ever what I wanted, but I’m glad to see you’re happy with it. And if you need any help—anything at all—you can call on us. Not just Stella and Nate; Ken and I want to help, too.”
“Thanks,” Carlos said, oddly touched. He hadn’t spoken much with Ken’s dependable-looking, gruff-sounding mate, but he could tell that she meant what she said.
She shrugged. “You guys were a pack, back in the Marines, from what Ken says. Stella and Eva and I are as much of a pack as we got. It seems like we might as well all be a pack together. Ken wants to. I think your Colonel wants to.”
A pack.
Not just a mate—not even just a family. A pack. With the Colonel at its head, surely. Carlos remembered how much he’d trusted Colonel Hanes, back when he’d just been Major Hanes. He’d put his life in that man’s hands without a second’s hesitation, because he knew that the Major would make the best decision possible.
He’d been going it alone for so long. In the cutthroat business world, you had to watch over your shoulder all the time—everyone was out for themselves, and you never knew who might turn on you. He’d gotten used to it, but he’d never liked it.
To be able to just...let that go. Leave it behind. Trust in his people, and know that they would trust in him.
It was a day for realizing he wanted things he’d never known he wanted, apparently.
“Thank you,” he said to Lynn, hearing the heartfelt tone in his voice, and not wanting or needing to conceal it. “Thanks. We’ll do that.”
She nodded once. “Good.”
Troy’s voice rose in a furious crescendo, and Carlos turned to catch him up in a toss towards the ceiling. The yell turned into a laugh, and Carlos said, “Hey, what are you upset about, huh?”
“I want to play the Nintendo DS!” Troy told him.
“You gotta wait patiently for something as cool as that,” Carlos explained. “Eva’s talking to Drew right now, because they have some important stuff to say before Drew goes away for the day.” Possibly for longer. That thought put a chill in Carlos’ bones.
Troy accepted that the Nintendo DS was extra-cool, and also accepted being swung through the air a few more times as a substitute for getting to play video games. He was completely trusting of Carlos’ strength, laughing delightedly, with no indication of any fear that Carlos might drop him or accidentally whack him into something. It was humbling.