Our mate hurts! Her wyvern pushed at her, urging her forward. He needs us, now!
It was the hardest thing she’d ever done, but Ivy set her feet, even though every instinct screamed to go to him. No matter how much she wanted to comfort him and be comforted in return, she couldn’t.
If she was going to save him from worse pain later…she couldn’t ease his agony now.
In fact, she had to make it worse.
NO! Her wyvern reared up in her mind, spitting acid. He is our mate! We can never hurt him!
Ivy ignored her agitated animal. “Hugh, this shouldn’t have happened. It wouldn’t have happened if you still had your unicorn.”
He jerked as if she’d slapped him in the face. “You think I don’t know that?”
“I think you’re desperately trying to pretend that nothing’s changed. But it has, Hugh.”
“I know. I do know, Ivy. I’m trying to get better.”
“But you aren’t. You won’t. The way you are now? That’s the way it’s always going to be. And I can’t cope.”
Finally she understood why all the other firefighters of Alpha Team had rejected her, why they hadn’t been able to stand to have her in the same room as their mates. Because now that Hugh wasn’t immune to her venom, she felt exactly the same way. She couldn’t stand to have her mate in the same room as herself.
Even now, her awareness of the deadly venom slicking her palms made her want to bolt out the door. Her very presence put her mate in danger.
No shifter could stand that.
Hugh was staring at her, motionless. All the color had drained from his face. “Ivy, what are you saying?”
“I can’t go through this again.” She gestured around at the ER waiting room. “I can’t be constantly watching you, making sure no one gets hurt.”
Hugh dropped his gaze in shame. He rubbed his right bicep in an unconscious, habitual gesture, and she knew that he was thinking of the dead leaves tattooed there. Thinking of how close he’d come to having to ink another failure onto his skin.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “Not that it makes any difference. If…if you don’t want me around Hope any more, you two could move out. I could make sure I only see you alone, when she isn’t around.”
“It’s not just about Hope. It’s about you, Hugh.” Taking a deep breath, she told him the truth. “I’m so scared of hurting you. It’s all I can think about, every second that we’re together. And I can’t live like this any more.”
“But you don’t have to!” He shot to his feet, as fierce and desperate as her wyvern. “Hope told me about your mother, how she thought she wouldn’t be toxic around her true mate. What if that’s true? What if you can’t hurt me?”
“I did hurt you, Hugh!” How could he even think of clinging onto this false hope? “I took your unicorn! Your father was wrong, and now you want to trust my mother, the woman who’s in jail for murder? Haven’t we learned by now that being true mates isn’t some magic get-out clause that solves everything?”
He hesitated for a second, the bitter truth of the words clearly hitting home. Then he shook his head stubbornly.
“We have to at least try. And this is the perfect opportunity, while we’re in the hospital, so if anything does go wrong, help is close at hand.” He took a step toward her, reaching out. “Please, Ivy, we have to—”
“Don’t touch me!”
He froze at her shriek. She scrabbled away from him, pressing her back against the far wall. She was sweating, terror of hurting him making her skin slick with venom. She had to stop him from trying again.
“I don’t want you to touch me,” she lied.
If he’d still been a shifter, she would never have gotten away with it. He would have sensed the truth in his soul, felt the way every part of her cried out with yearning.
But he wasn’t a shifter.
He physically staggered, as if the words had knocked all the breath out of him. The back of his knees hit one of the chairs, and he collapsed into it.
She kept speaking, although her wyvern clawed at her mind trying to silence her. “You must have noticed how every shifter looks at you now, Hugh. How they react to you. I’m a shifter. What do you think I see, when I look at you?”
His throat worked convulsively. He stared at her as if she’d suddenly turned into a stranger.