Elizabeth Knight passed away at home and Sebastian reeled, acting out as much and as often as he could. Not even Ethan’s calming presence – he’d returned home from Duke University in North Carolina and enrolled at New York University – kept Sebastian in line. He’d made damned sure his father had his hands full bailing him out of trouble. From cheating to skipping class, bailing on school altogether, to drinking and smoking, cigarettes and marijuana, and getting caught, Sebastian had done it all.
And Alexander Knight had had to tap-dance to keep his son in the private school that meant so much to the man. He was on a first-name basis with the cops who brought Sebastian home. A shrink might say Sebastian was looking for attention from his old man, but Sebastian himself thought he just wanted his father to pay. In time, in money, in any way he could for what he’d done to Sebastian’s mom.
The years of partying continued through college and business school, but he did take work seriously, had believed he’d stepped up to perform his role in Knight Time Technology. Obviously, though, his siblings didn’t see him the same way.
And as he glanced around, he was forced to admit the truth—from the pool table in the middle of the family room to the liquor cabinet, healthily stocked and well used, to the women listed by first names and reminders like “red everywhere” noted in his phone—the way he lived backed up Ashley’s claim and his family’s view of him. He really hadn’t changed, and it had taken Mandy’s death and Ashley’s return to point out that ugly fact.
He glanced at the tumbler in his hand and frowned, throwing it against the wall, watching as it shattered, gold liquid staining the wall and dripping onto the floor.
It was embarrassing, he thought, having lived his life and not realized how his siblings saw him. How Ashley saw him. It was as if he’d been in a bubble, behaving no better than his father, doing what he desired without thought to those around him. Without even caring enough about himself.
Was that what he wanted? To do his job but be a waste of space otherwise?
Hell no, he thought, waking himself up and acknowledging the kind of man he wanted to be. A better man than his father was. A man his brothers could count on, be proud of. A man his sister could turn to for anything and know he’d be there, not out partying or fucking when his family was trying desperately to reach him.
And a man Ashley could look at not with disgust and condemnation but with respect.
* * *
Sebastian woke up the next morning, surprisingly clearheaded and ready to deal with the day and the people in his life. Feeling uplifted and determined, he showered and put on his suit because he had scheduled business meetings, and made himself a cup of coffee, downing it before heading downstairs to the convenience store across the street to pick up something important.
Then he walked to the elevator so he could head upstairs to where Ashley now lived.
They needed to have a conversation. One that changed the direction of their relationship. And they would have a relationship, because another thing had become clear to him as he lay in bed last night, trying to fall asleep.
She meant something to him. She always had.
Many women had come and gone from his life and he’d been unable or unwilling to commit. For good reason, he realized now. None had been Ashley. Seeing her again had been the kick in the ass he needed to realize something had been missing from his life, and there was every possibility it was Ashley.
She was someone he genuinely liked and could talk to. Someone he also desired with a passion the likes of which he’d never experienced since their one fateful, heated kiss. He didn’t care how young they’d been, he’d wanted her. He still did.
She was the only person he’d ever confided in about his mother’s death, his father’s infidelities, his problems in school. He remembered sitting up late at night spilling his guts. She’d listened and vice versa. He’d heard her when she’d admitted how much she resented her mother’s jumping from wealthy man to wealthy man, how lonely she was in her new home.
If only he hadn’t let his dumb hormones lead him around, her life might have been different. He owed her for that. He wanted to make it up to her for pushing her out of what should have been a safe place. For upending her life.
More than that, he wanted to see what could be between them now that they were adults. And to do that, he needed her to see the man he believed he could be. One who was willing to go after what he wanted.