She lifted her face to him and tears shimmered in her pretty blue eyes. “It’s not that I didn’t love Jason. We were compatible. He offered me everything I wanted in my life.”
“Security and a future aren’t enough to base a lifetime on.” He named the minimal things she would want in order to marry someone because he knew her that well. He had. He still did.
She sniffed. “Yes, well, it seemed enough at the time. I do love him,” she said, her words a knife to Ryder’s chest.
“But you aren’t in love with him.”
“How do you know that?” she asked, some of the fire from last night back in her tone.
He rolled his shoulders. “Easy. Because when he walked out on you, you let him go.” He debated his next words, then decided it wasn’t the time to hold anything back. “When I broke up with you, you didn’t let me go as easily.” He shuddered at the memories of a time that had nearly killed him. “But you stood in a wedding dress and you let Jason walk out the door.”
She blinked and the tears she’d been holding back rolled down her cheeks. He swept one away with his finger.
“I was in shock.”
“Maybe. You also got in the car with me. Was that because you were in shock?”
She glared at him but it didn’t last long.
He didn’t want to push her further. He already had his answer about her second thoughts.
It was all he needed for now.
* * * *
Before Sierra could reply to Ryder’s comment, her stomach grumbled loudly and she groaned at the sound. “I’m starving.”
His lips curved in a smile. “Well, it’s a good thing breakfast is already here.” After swinging his legs over the side of the mattress, he walked to the table and returned with a tray full of food, placing it down on the bed.
She pulled her gaze away from his tight ass in his boxer briefs, clenching her teeth at the intimacy he was clearly already comfortable with. She wasn’t. Instead she pulled the covers up higher, covering her breasts and her bra.
“I can’t promise the coffee is still hot, but there’s enough pastries and muffins in here to quiet the beast,” he said with a laugh.
She glared at his joke about her noisy stomach, then turned to focus on the food he placed on the bed before climbing back into his side.
Picking which kind of muffin she wanted was a welcome, easy decision. Because as she ate—a blueberry muffin and then a scone, making up for not eating much at all yesterday—she was tortured by facts that were hard to admit to.
She’d rolled into Ryder in her sleep. She’d willingly turned to him in a way she’d never gone to Jason—they’d slept on separate sides of the bed, coming together to have sex when they were due, not out of some sense of innate need that couldn’t be contained.
When she looked back on yesterday, walking down the aisle after Ethan had asked if Jason was the man she really wanted, she hadn’t been sure. And when push came to shove, instead of fighting for her, Jason had stormed out, leaving her to Ryder. The guy who hadn’t let her marry another man.
That told her where she stood with her groom now. Not that they didn’t need to talk and have a rational conversation, if such a thing were possible. But she knew they were over. How could they be anything but? The truth hurt along with the loss of the future she’d clearly seen laid out for herself.
She glanced at Ryder as he watched her quietly. He’d always known when to talk and when to stay silent, reading her mind in ways Jason never had. She rubbed her eyes, wondering now why she’d thought settling emotionally or physically was enough for her. She ripped a piece of croissant off the end of the roll and shoved it into her mouth. No more carbs, she thought, finally feeling full.
She studied him through lowered lashes, knowing that they hadn’t yet had the much-needed conversation about their past. Given that she wasn’t ready to go home and face the ramifications of a canceled wedding, they had time before they dug that deep.
But they were here together now. “You’re crazy,” she muttered.
He grinned. “Can’t say I haven’t thought the same thing myself after yesterday. But in that moment, I couldn’t stand by and lose you forever.” He rose to his feet, picked up the tray, and put it back on the table, returning to her side of the bed and sitting down beside her.
He grasped her hand, holding her palm in his. “I always considered you mine, even after I let you go. I just didn’t let myself go there again.”
She saw the truth swirling in the green depths of his eyes, and she was forced to ask the question she’d wanted to put off, the one that had always haunted her. “Why didn’t you come to me sooner?”