She led me up the stairs quickly and half dragged me down the hall. I was surprised at how strong she turned out to be. No way did I twist or turn would get my arm out of her hand and as he door loomed closer and closer, I felt the blood draining from my face. I wasn’t scared of Kerstan; I wasn’t. I just wanted this life to be over and if it was going to be tonight, then I could only hope that it would be quickly.
Nine
Remember that feeling you would get when you were sent to the principal’s office in school? Sitting outside his door, hands tightly clasped together, sweat pouring down your body, and your legs nervously twitching? That’s how I felt while I waited for Kerstan, only I was already inside his “office.”
I heard the sound of his footsteps approaching the door and I took a deep, steadying breath. I would look him straight in the eye and fight my way out of this room if he offered me anything other than a quick death or freedom. I didn’t see death as giving up; I saw it as finally escaping the hell I had spent the last three years in.
He pushed the doors open violently and I jumped where I sat at the edge of the bed. Kerstan had a hand on his cheek and looked absolutely infuriated with what just happened. When he stopped in front of me, he was breathing heavily and I was barely breathing. Quickly he undid his belt and looped it around my neck, securing it almost a little too tightly before ripping my panties off and turning me over onto my stomach. He reached forward and shifted me so that I was on my knees with my ass in the air, while my arms were stuck underneath me.
“Stay just like that. If you move, I’ll break your fucking neck,” he seethed quietly.
After a few moments of him rifling around in a drawer, I felt the unmistakable sting of a leather belt being whipped across my bare ass. I grit my teeth and refused to let myself cry out as he lashed me again, and again, over and over, in a furious rage.
He was done about a minute later. I think it was exhaustion that finally caught up with him from how hard he was striking me, from how viciously I had attacked him, from my constant challenging of his authority. The belt hit the floor with a dull thud and Kerstan threw himself onto his back on the bed. I turned my face away so he wouldn’t see how red my face was and how my tears stained it.
I sniffled and cleared my throat. I wanted to ask him if I could lay down too because my legs were shaking, but I didn’t want to speak to him. I hated him.
I heard a phone ring and Kerstan sighed as he moved slightly on the bed. I assumed he fished it out of his pocket.
“Hallo?”
The tone of the voice on the other end of the conversation told me it was a man or a woman with a very low voice. Normally, I would have tried to listen to the conversation, but not now. Not ever again would I concern myself with matters that pertained to Kerstan Janssen.
I jumped when he raised his voice. He sat up quickly on the bed as an argument ensued with whoever was on the other end and finally ended with a mocking
laugh from Kerstan, who hung up the phone mid argument.
“Bastard,” he mumbled. “Would you like to know who that was?”
I didn’t answer.
“Amity? Did you hear me?” he asked, leaning on his side and putting his hand gently on the back of my head.
I still didn’t answer.
“You cannot be angry with me for the discipline you received. You deserved it; I think you can agree with that,” he said with a chuckle. “Look at me please.”
I took in the deepest breath in the world and held it for a moment. I knew that if I looked at him without preparing myself, so to speak, I would cry and I just didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of my tears again.
“Amity?” he pressed gently.
I let out my breath in a huff and turned my head toward him. His expression softened when he saw my melancholy eyes meet his.
“That was your final liaison. He wanted me to deliver you to him tomorrow but I told him that you were not ready yet. I ... I apologize for shouting but he told me that I obviously wasn’t doing my job and that he would seek someone else to do what he asked with you. I told him he’d have to kill me first. I won’t let you go to another home; believe it or not, I am one of the kindest you will find in this business. I don’t kill my girls if they don’t see to what I ask for as many do,” he said running his hand gently down the side of my face.
But would that mean that Betje and Minikin are in danger? If this sadistic bastard is one of the kindest, what the hell did he send them to?
“Betje and Minnie? Did you send them to a kind house? Please, I need to know the truth. No more lies,” I said softly.
“They are with him; the one that wants you,” he replied softly. “What he will do with them or why he wanted them, I do not know, but he paid me a great deal of money for them once I told him what they meant to you.” Kerstan sat up on the bed and looked back at me over his shoulder. “I don’t think he’ll hurt them if that is what has you concerned, but I cannot guarantee that which I do not know.”
I closed my eyes tightly and buried my face into the bed. I didn’t know who the fuck it was that ordered my prostitution and semi-torture, but I hope that they didn’t hate Betje and Minnie as much as they hated me. Those girls had nothing to do with whatever it was that I had done to wrong this person and I just wanted to go home.
“You did not ask for Margit,” Kerstan observed. “She did not mean as much to you as the other two, did she?”
“No,” I replied rubbing my face with the palms of my hand, I pushed my hair back and sat back on my heels, wincing at the stinging pain of my backside. “I want to make a deal. Not a request, not a demand, not a barter; a deal.”
“I’m intrigued,” he replied as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.