“Then you’re gonna have to buy me a drink. Every time someone says ‘self-care’ to me, or I hear it in a commercial, I feel like taking a shot. It’s a buzzword. I’m not gonna put on a mud mask and get my nails done. That’s fine for some people—my mom loves that kind of thing. It’s just not me.”
“Taking care of yourself just isn’t you?”
“What are you my dad? Which, PS, no one would give me worse hell than him if he saw me with face cream and cucumber slices on my eyes. He’d ask me if I thought I was the Queen of Sheba and maybe I should go clean the gutters if I got so much free time,” I chuckled.
“He’s a hell of a guy. Listen, if you need anything, any help with him, let us know. The guys on the force are good about that kind of thing. You should have seen the meals they filled my freezer with when Missy was sick. We have each other’s backs.”
“I don’t want a casserole from you, Brody. Or pity from the other cops. We’ve all got crap going on. And I’ve told you more in three hours than I told my partner in Charleston in a year and a half. Maybe it’s that I knew you growing up, or maybe you have that kind of face—in which case you’re wasted out here. Go do interrogations in the city. They need detectives who can get people to open up.”
“You seem like you use all the attitude and the mouth to keep people entertained and maybe to keep them at arm’s length, too. So if I got past that, if you’re comfortable with me, thank you. That means you trust me,” he said.
I could not handle him being sincere and sticking a pin in me like a balloon, seeing through me so clearly.
“You’re gonna have to dial back the Dr. Phil you got going on there,” I said. “You made it weird. Don’t make it weird.” I said gruffly.
I cleared my throat. I was not going to let him know how he’d affected me with what he said. Brody was not the kind of guy I could let get past my armor. I had Rachel to confide in and Damon when he wasn’t in annoying big bro mode. I didn’t need anyone else getting close. It was too much. I’d lost my partner in Charleston. I’d seen how it was to lose someone that important to me. Never again. Not with a cop, not with someone I couldn’t protect. Not with my boss or my brother’s pal.
“This force, more so perhaps than bigger crews in the city, is a brotherhood. And this is what brothers do, isn’t it? Tease and torment each other, and tell the hard truths as well.”
“Damon just used to give me wedgies. The only hard truth he ever told me was I was too soft to cut it in the fire department so being a cop was fine for me, and also that I had a buttface.”
“Maybe back then… but you don’t now,” he said with a snicker.
Even through the joking and easy banter, the queasy feeling I couldn’t ignore wouldn’t go away. I tried to shake off the creepy feeling that someone had been watching us, watching me at the falls. I didn’t want my new boss to think I was paranoid or that I believed that stalkers were after us on my first day on the job. He said I had steel, more steel than Damon. So, it was time to prove it, and I couldn’t prove it by shaking in my boots over a baseless hunch. Like Brody said, lightening the mood was important in our line of work. It was one of the reasons we had so many outrageous practical jokers in our department in the city. We had to keep the nightmares at bay, at least when we were awake. We saw so much of the worst side of humanity. Sometimes humor, even the most obnoxious humor, was the best weapon we had against the dark.
8
Brody
We searched for hours but came up empty. There was no trace of Becky or where she’d been. I wondered what I could say to get the ex to come in for questioning. He hadn’t been very forthcoming when we called to find out if he’d heard from her. But, in fairness, if officials called me about an active investigation into a disappearance involving an ex, I’d probably say as little as possible too. Guilty or not, it wasn’t a bad idea to play his cards close to the vest. But I wanted to question him. Mostly because I didn’t know what else to do once I’d called all the hospitals in the neighboring counties later.
Driving back to the station, I gave a big yawn and shook myself to keep awake. I needed to go for a run, drink some water, get the blood flowing. I had to think clearly and not risk going loopy from too little sleep. Laura was beside me in the front seat of my cruiser, chewing her thumbnail.