He was joking with me, being sweet, being so different from when I first took the job. He’d really let me into their lives, and it was so hard to resist.
“Okay,” I said, “you win.”
“I usually do,” he smirked. I rolled my eyes.
“It’s the beard. Lumberjacks can get away with anything, I swear.”
“How long has she been asleep?’
“I don’t know. Since I was also asleep. I started the movie around 3:30. We got to the part with the flowers, and she dropped off to sleep. So that was maybe twenty minutes in. What time is it now?”
“It’s after five. So she’s been asleep a little over an hour. I’m glad she napped. It looked like you two had a big day, going out to the falls and everything.”
“Well, yeah, turns out she can float. I only threw her in the water a couple times.”
“You’re just messing with me.”
“Yes, I am. We waded around in the shallows and that was it. I’m surprised you didn’t come careening up the road after us to make sure she didn’t need CPR as soon as you got the picture.”
“Am I really that bad?”
“Yes, you are exactly that bad,” I grinned.
He grinned in return, his smile damn near blinding, so gorgeous and there was a deep dimple that made my stomach clench, as well as other parts further south. His soft laugh, the way he leaned in. Max was closing the distance between us, his hand touching my face. Oh my God, his hand was on my cheek! I felt my heart hammering like mad at the contact, at the tender way he brushed his thumb over my cheekbone and met my eyes with his melting gaze. I was half a breath from being kissed. It felt monumental, and amazing and breathless. I couldn’t take my eyes off him, couldn’t let them drift shut. I didn’t want to miss a thing. This was already toe-curlingly sexy and he had barely touched me. Giddy and excited and more than a little turned on, I lifted on tiptoe to meet his lips with mine.
He stepped back, dropped his hand from my cheek and rubbed his beard, turned and went into the kitchen. I wanted to follow him and demand to know what just happened and why he hadn’t kissed me. But I knew the answer to that. He remembered who we were. That he was my boss, that he didn’t do complicated relationships, and didn’t bring women around his daughter. I was so frustrated I wanted to stomp my feet. I liked him so much, and I knew he was drawn to me, too.
I heard him preheating the oven, and I went in and got a glass of water. “You know,” I said. “I think I’ll head home after all. Thanks for the invite though.”
“That’s probably best,” he said, and I wasn’t imagining it when he sounded sad. It was flat-out unmistakable regret in his voice. I met his eyes and saw him swallow hard.
“I’m sorry,” he began.
“Don’t,” I said, cutting him off. “Really.”
“It isn’t that I don’t want to,” he said, and he was just grinding the words through his teeth. He let me see his frustration, his passion for an instant. “I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair to you, to sneak around. You deserve better than that. I won’t get that close again. I should’ve known better than to ask you to stay. I apologize.”
I blinked back tears. Even though he was telling me exactly why we couldn’t be together, which was the last thing I wanted to hear from him, I understood. I nodded.
“I understand,” I said. What I wanted to say was, so make it real, don’t sneak around. Be with me. I’d say yes if you asked me to stay over, if you asked me on a date, if you asked me practically anything. But I had my pride, too, so I said nothing else. I swiped an impatient hand over my cheeks to wipe off the tears and turned away.
“Please don’t,” he said, crossing the kitchen, crowding me. “Don’t cry, Rachel. I’m not worth that.”
I shook my head, another tear slipping down my face unbidden. He brushed it away with his thumb. He pulled me to him and hugged me, warm and comforting, but I resisted, pushed back against him.
“I can’t,” I said. “I can’t hug you. I just need to go. I won’t mention this, and I’m not going to mope around and cry over you. I’ll see you Monday. I just—I need to go now. I’ll be fine.”
He released me, but I could see that it hurt. I could tell by his eyes. I could read his expression so clearly, that he had wanted me to accept comfort from him. I just couldn’t do it. I would’ve started sobbing or I would’ve tried to kiss him.